The Great Collection
by Empress of Everything
Summary: My collection of drabbles and oneshots. #38, curse blondes to the depths of hell with their excellent memories. {CoLu}
1. Pen Pals-Age 9

**A/N:** I couldn't resist starting this drabble collection! This is going to be an ongoing project that will be randomly updated. It's the place for you to give me prompts or maybe get a drabble/oneshot written for you!

Which will happen for the first person to comment! If you are the first person to comment on this story, you will get a oneshot or drabble of your choice!

I will take this time to gently remind you that you may submit any prompts or ideas but I do not under any circumstances write smut or slash. I'll write for almost any pairing, no matter how strange, as long as it isn't slash.

So please, leave your prompts and first person to comment gets a special oneshot! :)

* * *

Dear Natsu,

Hi! I'm Lucy. My teacher said I had to write you a letter, since we're penpals now. This is kind of weird since I don't really know any boys, except my big brother Laxus, but he doesn't really count since he's a brother not a penpal.

Anyway, like I said, I'm Lucy. I'm nine years old. I have one brother, Laxus, and he's really annoying. Do you have any brothers or sisters? I wish I had a sister, an older one so she could do my hair for me before I go to school. My daddy and Laxus try sometimes, but they aren't very good. At least, not as good as my mommy was.

My hair is blonde. What color is your hair? I bet it's really nice. My friend Levy has blue hair. I wish I could have blue hair. Wouldn't that be pretty?

Do you have any pets? I have a dog named Plue and Laxus has a funny looking cat he named Pikachu, like the Pokemon. I don't know what Pokemon is, but that's what he said. Pikachu is yellow and black and Plue is white. Laxus says Plue doesn't really look like a dog, but he really is. He just looks funny.

I should probably finish up this letter. Mrs. Laki is looking a little annoyed since I'm taking so long.

I hope you write back soon!

Sincerely,

Your Pen Pal,

Lucy Heartfilia.

* * *

Dear Lucy,

Hi. I'm Natsu but you already know that because you wrote me a letter first. It was weird getting a letter in the mail. My dad was really curious till I told him it was for school. Then he started teasing me for being all mushy and writing to a girl. He's annoying like your brother I guess.

I'm nine years old too and I just lost a tooth yesterday! I have a little sister her name is Wendy and she's six. She's really cute but she follows me everywhere. And I mean everywhere. I walked down to the mailbox yesterday and I turned around and there she was following me like a little puppy or that's what Mr. Macao said she was. Mr. Macao is my neighbor. He has a son named Romeo who is the same age as Wendy.

My hair is pink no not pink dad says it's salmon which is kind of pink. It's cool. Wendy has blue hair and it's really pretty. My dad does her hair in pigtails sometimes and braids other times. Does your dad do braids? I think braids would look pretty with blonde hair. Sometimes he puts ribbons in her hair. Do you like ribbons? If you do maybe I could send you one. Dad says that girls like pretty things. Is that true? Do you like pretty things?

I do have a pet! I have a blue cat named Happy. He sounds cooler than your brother's cat. I don't know what Pokemon is either. It sounds weird.

I hope you didn't get in trouble for taking a long time writing your letter.

I hope you write back soon too Lucy.

Your Pen Pal,

Natsu Dragneel.

P.S. Do you like dragons?

* * *

 **A/N:** Natsu has no idea what a comma is. Oh sweet baby... This one will more than likely be continued, so no worries, y'all! :)

Remember! If you want a oneshot, be the first to leave a comment! And bring on the prompts!


	2. A Dark, Horrible Secret

**A/N:** Yay! Number two of the drabbles! This one is for **FairyTailErza12,** the first person to comment, and it's a GrayZa high school AU, as requested. To be honest, this is my first time writing for GrayZa, so I hope I did a good job and kept everyone in character.

I personally think that Erza is an inward drama queen, hence the excessive use of italics.

Tenth person to comment gets a free oneshot of their choice!

If y'all have a pairing or family relationship or friendship you'd like to see, leave a comment or a PM and I'll try to get to it as quick as I can! :) Review replies will be down at the bottom of each post!

* * *

Erza "Titania" Scarlet was not easily intimidated. Oh no. _She_ was the one who did the intimidating. Her reputation was solid in Fiore High; she was the class president, the fencing champion known as the Scarlet Demon, and by far the most frightening person many of the teens had ever had the misfortune to encounter.

But she had a secret.

A dark, dreadful, horrifying secret.

 _Cute boys_ _terrified_ _her._

It really wasn't a well known fact, for a _very_ good reason. What would that look like, the great Titania scared of a boy? Nuh uh, her reputation would be smashed, obliterated, crushed into dust and mixed with water and painted on the side of the school building if that ever got out.

Only her best friends Lucy and Levy knew of her particular affliction. They only knew because they had been there when Jellal Fernandes managed to turn her into a stuttering, blushing, mumbling wreck in seventh grade. And all he had asked was if she had had a good day! He had looked at her funny and never spoken to her again after that incident. Much to her inward humiliation, he went on to date Meredy Maguilty, that pink haired, sugar high, ear-muff wearing monstrosity!

But she was better than that. Okay, deep breaths. Jellal is in the past, forget about him.

Anyway, cute boy or no, if you broke the rules of the school, you were in major trouble. All the students who had been attending Fiore High for any length of time warned the newcomers.

 _If you break the rules, sass, or in any way, shape, or form upset Erza Scarlet, there will be a group on hand to begin digging your grave for you because you will not walk out of the encounter alive._

Obviously, the dark haired boy currently brawling with Natsu Dragneel hadn't gotten that particular piece of advice. Erza knew Natsu had been warned several times about fighting before, during, or after classes, but did he listen?

No, he did not.

And that annoyed Erza to no end.

And now he was dragging new students down his path of misbehavior and trouble! She would not stand for it! No, she would n-…

Holy Mavis.

 _Holy Mavis._

HOLYMAVISOFTHEBLONDEHAIRANDGREENEYES.

Erza _may_ have stopped breathing for a moment.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she heard a tiny voice start screaming.

 _AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!_

 _OHMYGOSHHE'SSOCUTEWHYISHEFIGHTINGWHYDOESN'THEHAVEASHIRTONWHATISLIFEWHATISGOINGON?_

She probably would have frozen in place had her forward momentum not carried her right into the middle of the fight. Hastily shaking off her shock and overwhelming desire to start drooling, ( _those_ _abs!_ ), she clamped a hand on Natsu's scruffy head and the new boy's head as well. The tiny voice ( _that for some reason sounded a good deal like Mirajane_ ), got louder and more klaxon-like. _His hair was so soft…AHHH! WHAT WAS GOING ON?_

"What is going on here?" She barked, infinitely grateful her voice was steady. How mortifying would that have been if she had squeaked or worse, _what if she hadn't been able to talk at all?_ Erza would have rather let Natsu be in charge of the school for the rest of the year than show her face, her shame would have been so great.

"It was that stupid Ice Stripper's fault, Erza!" The pink haired boy hung from her grip and tried to plead his innocence. Erza sighed. Without having a chance to gauge the other boy's character, she might have actually to _believe_ Natsu, astonishing as that may be.

Then the other boy spoke. He was furious, trying to get at Natsu and yelping when Erza's grip tightened on his hair. Holy cow, even his _yelp_ was cute!

"What did you call me, you squinty eyed menace?"

"You heard me, droopy drawers!" Erza gave them both a shake, Natsu's face instantly going green from the sudden motion. She sighed again, holding him off to the side a bit.

"Come on, you two. You're going to see the Master and he'll get this all sorted out."

"I can walk by myself, thank you!"

"Don't argue, let's go." With that, she dragged both boys off by the hair, a path clearing for them among the students.

* * *

As she stood outside the office, Erza congratulated herself on being able to keep her composure. Sure, the boy, Gray Fullbuster was his name, was cute, (her inner voice screamed, _CUTE? THAT'S IT? THE MAN IS A FREAKING MODEL WITH THE ABS OF A GREEK GOD!_ ), but that didn't mean she needed to fall to pieces because he looked at her!

She was proud of herself. Strawberry cake would be in order after class.

Erza did crack just a smidgin when the door to Master's office opened up. As she stood, Natsu came stumbling out, took one look at her, and hightailed it to his next class. Gray came out a little more slowly. He had his shirt back on thankfully, though the little voice was pouting about being deprived of the view of his amazing abs. Shyly, she stepped forward.

He jumped slightly in surprise at seeing her. "Oh, hi." Gray ran a hand through his disheveled hair and gave her a sidelong glance.

Erza clasped her hands behind her back and looked steadily at him. "I wanted to apologize for earlier. For, uh, grabbing you by the hair." Color rose in her cheeks. "There, um, wasn't really anything else for me to grab and I had to get Natsu away from you somehow." She bit her lip, an very uncharacteristic gesture, and peeked at him.

He was smiling at her.

 _Smiling._ That was a good sign, wasn't it?

"Eh, it's okay. Flame Brain doesn't know when to stop. I'm glad you were there to collar him." He sighed, then straightened, smiled, and extended a hand. "I'm Gray Fullbuster, by the way."

She took his hand, marveling at the coolness of it. "Erza Scarlet."

He hesitated for a moment, sizing her up and carefully releasing her hand. "So, um, well, do you want to go get coffee after class?"

Erza stood stock still. Do you want to get coffee after class? The words played on repeat in her brain. The tiny Mira voice was silent for several seconds. Then it screamed so loud it could have put a boatload of chipmunks on helium chatting with six classrooms full of preteen girls to serious shame. Erza didn't even know such a sound could be made by the human body…

"Sure." Erza was amazed that her voice was steady. Was her face on fire? Did her nerves show? _How was she not dead yet from sudden lack of oxygen to her brain?_

He gave her a slightly cocky smile. "Great, I'll meet you out here in a couple hours."

Erza smiled back. "Yeah, see you later, Gray."

"See ya later, Erza."

With that, they parted ways, Gray to class, Erza to the girls' bathroom to have a minor (MAJOR) freakout before heading to her own class.

* * *

Special Agents Lucy and Levy of the Fiore High Shipping Club stared in jaw-dropped, awestruck, quite frankly astonished shock at the sight before them. Erza had just accepted an offer to go get coffee with a boy.

A _cute_ boy.

And she hadn't stuttered, stumbled, blushed, or embarrassed herself in any way!

Shipping Senpai Mirajane needed to be informed of this at once.

* * *

 **A/N:** C'mon y'all, admit it. Gray has a gorgeous physique. ;)

I hope y'all liked that! I'll be doing review replies down here at the bottom, so if you asked a question, be sure to check down here for the reply!

 _ **Review Replies!**_

 _FairyTailErza12:_ Here you are, darlin'! I hope I kept it in character and that you like the length. I had so much fun with this one! And thank you! :)

 _snibs13:_ Aren't they the cutest? I love them both! And thank you! There will be so much more since I have so many ideas!


	3. Now I'm Haunted

**A/N:** Here's a song drabble I wrote up real quick. It isn't the best, but eh.

 **Prompt:** Put your iTunes on shuffle and write a short drabble inspired by the first song that plays

 **Song:** Haunted (Acoustic): Taylor Swift

 **Pairing:** Ex RoLu (Rogue/Lucy)

Remember, if you have a prompt/suggestion/idea, or if there is a story you would like to see continued, leave me a review or drop me a PM. I love ideas and I can never have enough!

* * *

Lucy's head hit the pillow for the fifth time that night. How could she fall asleep with that horrid look passing through her mind over and over again?

 _I thought you understood_ , she thought anguished and rolled over again.

He had flatly rejected her love and shoved her away. Was she clutching at straws hoping he would come back to her? She thought they understood each other, but apparently not.

He was gone.

And he would not be back.

Natsu had tried to cheer her up, but he wasn't Rogue. Rogue, _her_ Rogue, would never have shattered the bond they had. Half-heartedly, she wondered if he had been replaced by an evil copy. Maybe he would be back…

No, he wouldn't. He had made that abundantly clear in his harsh goodbye. It was such a fragile line the two walked, a line between hatred and love.

Because how could Fairies and Tigers ever get along?

"Don't leave me," she whispered into her pillow. She would be haunted by the look on his face as she had stood silently and watched him walk away.

She couldn't breathe without him.

She was haunted.

She knew they would never see each other again. It hurt so badly to think that, but deep in her heart she knew it was true.

She knew the line they walked was fragile from the moment their relationship had begun.

She never thought she would live to see it break…

* * *

 **A/N:** Oooo... Here, have some angst! Angsty RoLu! One of my favorite pairings!

 _ **Review Replies!**_

 _Absolute-ZERO999-_ Thank you and I'll try to get on those great suggestions as quick as I can! :)

 _snibs13-_ Thank you! I honestly think Erza is such a dramatic person, being petrified by cute boys could totally happen. :)

 _FairyTailErza12-_ EEE! SO glad you liked it! :D And you're more than welcome! :D


	4. More than friends?

**A/N:** Wahhh! Here's some of my OTP for y'all! And thank you to everyone who has reviewed, favorited or followed!

Remember, 10th reviewer gets a free oneshot of their choice!

Review replies down at the bottom!

 **Pairing:** Cobra X Lucy (CoLu)

* * *

Cobra sat quietly on the couch, waiting for his friend to come back. The couch was so comfortable, he mused, having to fight the urge to fall asleep on the ridiculously soft cushions. He would know from experience how nice it was. He had lost count of the times he had crashed on Lucy's couch, usually when he stayed over too late studying or just hanging out. Lucy's mom Layla often teased him about it and had even designated a special blanket that was 'Cobra's blanket' for when he stayed over. He liked her family.

He and Lucy were supposed to be studying for their history project, so where was she?

As if reading his mind, the blonde appeared in the doorway, looking flustered. Her baby brother Sting was on her hip.

"Sorry, Cobra, we're going to have to postpone studying. Mom needs to go run errands and wants to get done quick, so she left Sting here." Lucy bit her lip and sighed. "Sorry."

Cobra shrugged, getting up and coming over to her. "Nah, it's fine. Besides, I'd rather be spending time with you than studying, even if we have to keep an eye on the kid." He watched for his best friend's reaction carefully. He wasn't disappointed; Lucy's cheeks turned a brilliant scarlet and she ducked her head into Sting's fuzzy hair.

Cobra grinned as he reached out and tapped the little kid on the nose. Sting squeaked and reached for Cobra, almost leaping out of Lucy's arms. "Co! Co!" The maroon haired boy caught the two year old easily, shifting him to his hip in a smooth practiced motion. And he did have practice.

Cobra had been there since before Sting was born and had often helped Lucy out when she was babysitting him. He claimed it was good practice (practice for what? Midnight would ask slyly, earning him a punch from an aggravated Cobra.)

It was just a given among their friends that where Lucy went, Cobra was bound to follow. This habit of his had prompted Bixlow and Laxus, two of their more obnoxious friends, to nickname Lucy Bo Peep and Cobra 'Lamb'. Cobra had punched the two jokers into next week, resulting in a brawl that involved half the school. When he came staggering back to Lucy, bloody and limping, but prouder than a rooster at defending her, Lucy had rolled her eyes and patched him up. There had been a new softness in her eyes that he had never seen before as her hands gently cleaned all blood off his face. Layla had scolded him, given him a kiss and a cookie, and insisted he stay the night.

It was one of his favorite memories.

"Hey, earth to Cobra!" Lucy picked up a pillow and made as if to hurl it at him. Cobra quickly lifted Sting up to his face. Lucy rolled her eyes and dropped the pillow. "Using a baby as a shield? That's low, even for you, Cobra." Cobra snickered and sat back down, getting comfortable with the baby.

Cobra bounced Sting on his knee absently as he watched Lucy bustle about. "You know," he said. "If we can't study today, tomorrow would be fine."

Lucy looked at him and shook her head. "Can't," she said simply. Cobra gave her a weird look. "Why not?"

"I have a date tomorrow afternoon."

Cobra jolted up, nearly dropping Sting. He managed to catch the boy just in time. Sting thought it was a new game and squealed. Cobra stared at Lucy in horror. When had this happened? Lucy caught his disbelieving look and frowned. Her eyes were hurt and annoyed. "What?" She demanded. "Did you think I would never get asked out?"

"No…it's not that…" Cobra stuttered, feeling lost. Why was she acting like this? Lucy was **_his_** , not some other guy's! Why couldn't she see that? Okay, so he hadn't exactly declared himself to her, but it was implied!

Was that not enough?

Lucy's eyes filled with tears. She marched over and snatched up Sting from Cobra's limp grasp. "I'll see you on Monday," she said coldly. She turned her back on him, her shoulders tight.

Cobra's mouth was dry as he rose. "I'll let myself out," he rasped.

Lucy didn't answer.

As the door shut behind her friend, Lucy let herself fall apart. Tears rolled down her face as she hugged her baby brother closer to her. "Oh Sting," she sobbed. It was the first time she and Cobra had 'fought' in a long time. She hated the way it made her feel.

Neither slept much that night.

* * *

Cobra left his house about midmorning and marched over to Lucy's. There was no way he would let a stupid fight ruin his friendship with her. He shouldn't have just left last night. He should have stayed and explained himself to her instead of just leaving. With that in mind, he plucked up the courage and knocked on her front door, something he hadn't actually done since he was six and she was new to the neighborhood.

The door opened slowly. A disheveled girl stood in the doorway, looking at him with tired eyes.

"Cobra." Lucy stared at her best friend. Cobra chuckled weakly and scratched the back of his neck. "Uh, hey, Lucy. Mind if I come in?"

She crossed her arms over her chest and glared. "Why are you here?"

Cobra's shoulders drooped. Was this how it was going to be? Stupid boys getting in the way of his friendship with his favorite blonde. "I..." He hesitated and her stance softened just a little. "I just wanted to apologize. I was out of line yesterday." He looked down and scuffed his foot on the porch. It was a childish thing to do, but he couldn't help it. He hated when Lucy was angry with him. Lucy sighed, running a hand through her hair.

"C'mon in, then." She dropped her hand and laid it on his arm. "I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have gotten so upset with you." With that, she tugged him inside, a soft smile on her face.

Once they were both inside and the door was shut, Lucy turned and buried her face in Cobra's chest. Her hands clenched into the fabric of his shirt as she shook silently. With an inaudible sigh, he wrapped his arms around her and kissed the crown of her head. "I'm sorry, Lucy."

"Me, too," she mumbled back. Lucy pulled away and scrubbed at her face. Feeling bereft, Cobra stood silently as she got herself under control. She tugged on her hair. "I still have a few hours till my date. Do you want to watch a movie?" She asked shyly.

Right now, Cobra would take anything, do anything, if it meant he could spend time with Lucy. "Sure," he said calmly. Lucy smiled and they went to the living room to watch a stupid girly movie that Cobra had seen a thousand times before but watched it because he loved Lucy.

Two hours later, both teens were sound asleep on the couch, cuddled together for warmth. It was a common action for them. All of their friends knew it and had since given up teasing them.

"Come in!" Layla's voice pierced Cobra's sleep induced haze. _What was going on_ , he thought blearily. _Who was Layla taking to?_

Footsteps carried down the hall as Cobra lifted his head slightly, careful not to disturb the sleeping blonde on his chest. A dark haired boy stood next to Layla, staring at the sight before him. _Huh, must be that guy Lucy mentioned._ Cobra put his head back down on top of Lucy's before it hit him.

To an outsider unaware of his and Lucy's habits, they appeared in a rather compromising position. Normally Cobra would be freaking out right about now. But he was in a wicked mood. Besides, he was comfortable and was holding Lucy in his arms. There was _no way_ he was moving.

"What is going on?" The dark haired boy demanded, eyes flicking between Cobra and Lucy. Cobra gave him a lazy, dismissive glance.

"Nothing," he said blandly. Layla stifled a smile. She knew full well what Cobra was doing. In her heart, she had hoped that her daughter and her best friend would eventually get together. They were just too cute…

"What do you mean, nothing!" The other boy exploded. "You're sleeping with the girl I'm here to take out on a date! I think that's something!" Cobra quirked up an eyebrow.

"We do this all the time," he said, and stilled as Lucy began to shift. That shut the kid up pretty quick.

"Mmmm...Cobra's so warm..." She murmured into his chest. "Wanna stay here..." With that, she was back in dreamland. Cobra shot a rather triumphant look at the boy.

"I rest my case." And he turned away, snuggling his blonde closer and pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

She'd probably kill him later for this, but it was more than worth it.

* * *

 **A/N:** Heeheehee, Cobra is evil, isn't he, my loves? I had so much fun writing this one!

 _ **Review replies!**_

 _snibs13-_ Sorrynotsorry! :) There may be a follow up chapter from Rogue's POV... If that would go over well...Thanks for reviewing and I hope you were able to work despite a broken heart. ;)

 _Absolute-ZERO999-_ RoLu is one of my favorite pairings. :) And I'm glad you liked the angst. :) Haha, yeah, there are lots of different pairings in here! :)

 _ILoveLyon (guest)-_ I'm planning on doing several followups of the first story of NaLu throughout the years. :) I'm glad despite not liking the pairings you still liked the stories! :)

 _FairyTailErza12-_ Angst and Fluff are life. :) and thank you!


	5. A Prelude to War

**A/N:** So I got a request from **snibs13** for a prank war. Well, my brain jumped on that crazy train with surprising eagerness. This is just a prelude, a teaser trailer for the insanity to come. I have several ideas for crazy things for them to do, but if you have any ideas, please send them to me! :D

 **Pairings-** None at the moment, but lots of broships! :)

* * *

Fairy Tail has a long and glorious history of prank wars. There have been some notable ones throughout the years.

Such as the time the Thunder Legion managed to put a soundly sleeping Laxus, bed included, on top of Kardia Cathedral. Freed, using his rune magic, also managed to block Laxus's lighting powers, so he didn't come down for _hours_. And boy was he mad when he finally did get down!

Or more recently, when Mira had Lisanna and Bixlow send Erza strawberry cakes, seemingly from Jellal. Of course, both Mages had very nearly died after that incident…

What about the time Natsu and Gray plastered the entire guild hall, inside and out, with paperwork from the Magic Council?

Even Gajeel was not above pranking. The girls of the guild knew that one for sure, as he had once duct taped air horns to the side of every toilet in the ladies room so when you sat down, said air horn went off.

He mysteriously went missing for a few weeks after that…

Yes, it is safe to assume that Fairy Tail excelled at prank wars. Why wouldn't they? They were the most destructive, insane guild full of crazies in all of Fiore. But it was Sabertooth's philosophy: _whatever Fairy Tail can do, we can do better_.

Thus began the 193rd Fairy Tail Prank War. The previous 192 wars had ended in draws, ties, or Master had just gotten fed up with the constant pranking.

This was the first time it was an inter-guild war, however.

 _Magnolia would never be the same…_

It all started when Sting Eucliffe decided it would be a good idea to dump a bucket of water on one Lucy Heartfilia…

* * *

 **A/N:** Guys, this is going to be insane. Sting and Lucy having a prank war? Oh snap, it's gonna be nuts.

 _ **~~~Review replies!~~~**_

 _Absolute-ZERO999-_ Ehhh... Not really, I don't think. That's why it's a crack pairing: it's so farfetched, it would never become canon. But they are so much fun to write for, I don't really care if they're canon or if they never even talk to each other in canon. :) Thank you! And you're the 10th reviewer, so you get a oneshot! :)

 _FairyTailErza12_ -Well, I'm glad you're more open to crack pairings now! :) For me, in the anime, I ship the canon or mostly canon couples. Fanfiction, everyone is game. :) That's my philosophy, at least. :)

 _snibs13-_ YAS! COLU FOR THE WIN! He is just so much fun to write, I love him. :) I'm planning a sequel since this is actually not at all the direction I wanted the story to go, but once I started writing, it kind of just went from there. Don't worry, there will be awkward confessions! :)


	6. Pen Pals-Age 9, part 2

**A/N:** I forgot to put in the last story that the 20th reviewer got a free oneshot so I'm saying it now. And since **Eien ni Touko** was the 20th, you get said oneshot, hun! :)

30th reviewer gets a oneshot of their choice! :) 

Review replies down at the bottom!

Here's part two of the Pen Pal AU. Natsu and Lucy are both still nine.

Random fact of the day: I dreamed last night that I was dating Laxus. He was the sweetest, fluffiest darling in the world and I was very happy. When I woke up, I wanted to go back to sleep so I could date him some more!

* * *

Dear Natsu,

You wrote back! I hope you won't be mad when I say I wasn't expecting you to. I'm glad you did. Don't listen to your dad. It's not mushy to write to girls! And yeah, Laxus is really annoying. But he's my only brother. And I don't have any other family besides him and my daddy.

Your sister sounds really cute. I have a few friends who are like sisters and brothers. There's Levy who has blue hair and she reads a lot. She can read five big books in a week! Then there's Mysto, her big brother. He's really nice, even if he does pull on my hair. That's not very nice. Cana is my other friend. She's pretty and has brown hair. She's really smart like Levy. Do you have other friends? I'm sure you do. You sound like you'd make a really good friend. What are your friends like?

I didn't know people could have pink hair. Well, I guess if there is blue hair, I can see pink hair. My mommy used to do fancy braids in my hair. French braids, Dutch braids, crown braids, fancy stuff. My daddy can't do that and Laxus can't either. I miss my mommy.

I do like ribbons and pretty things. My favorite color ribbon is pink and red. But I like blue, too. You don't have to send me a ribbon Natsu. It's okay.

Do you like to read? I love reading. I'd read all day if I could. But I have to go to school so I can't. Laxus teases me and calls me a bookworm. It's okay since I have Levy as a bookworm friend. Laxus shouldn't be so mean, one of his best friends, Freed, is a bookworm too.

I hope you write back soon, Natsu.

Your pen pal,

Lucy

PS. I don't know if I like dragons. I do like princesses. It always makes me sad when the dragons are killed by the princes in the fairy tales. Does that count as liking dragons?

* * *

Dear Luce,

Is it okay if I call you Luce? Naw it's okay if you didn't think I'd write back. I almost didn't but then you seemed really nice so I had to write back.

My friends are weird. There's Erza who's scary and Gray who can't keep his clothes on and Lyon his brother who's the same way and my cousin Gajeel who eats metal no joke and I think that's it. Your friends sound nice. My friends are so weird but I don't have any others. You sound like you'd be a good friend too. You'd probably be the best friend ever!

If you don't mind me asking what happened to your mom? You said you miss her. I don't remember my mom. Dad said she died when I was really little. Wendy's mom Grandine is sort of my mom now. She's really nice and I like her a lot.

I don't know what those braids are. I'll ask Grandine and maybe she can tell me. I will send you a ribbon. I'll send you bunches so when you wear them you can remember me! Pink for my hair red for fire and blue for Happy's fur!

I like books with pictures does that count? I really like fairy tails with dragons. I wish the dragon would get the princess someday instead of being the bad guys. Princes are sissies but Wendy likes princess stories so she makes me read them to her.

Dad says when you write a letter you should ask questions so here are some questions for ya Luce.

What's your favorite color?

Have you ever visited Magnolia?

That's all I can think of right now.

Write back soon Luce!

Your pen pal

Natsu

PS. I think you like dragons. I'm gonna be a fire dragon when I grow up and I'll rescue you and you can be my princess since you don't like sissy princes.

PPS. Happy says hi!

* * *

 **A/N:** More cuteness! I love them both so much! :D There will be more of the Pen Pal collection. Maybe they'll be older next time...

 _ **~~~Review replies!~~~**_

 _Absolute-ZERO999-_ Don't worry, lots of pranking will be in the future. ;)

 _snibs13-_ Hee! I'm glad you're excited! Don't worry, it shall be a long and glorious battle!

 _Martyn (guest)-_ I don't know when I'll get to that story. I have a bunch of requests I need to get written up first. But thanks for the suggestion!

 _Eien ni Touko-_ Oh boy, let's see if I can get your's all answered in one go. ;) LaxLu siblingship is one of my favorites! Erza, oh Erza, I love her so much. Yesssss...all the angsty RoLu... I love writing Cobra! He's so evil but he loves Lucy so much he would do something like that. ;) Hehe, you'll just have to wait and see for the ship. ;) Don't worry, there will be so much more pranking it'll be madness.

 _Dragon's Host-_ Thank you! Erza is wonderful and so awkward... I'm glad you liked the angst! It's just so easy to write for them. ;) Cobra is a horrible person who would totally ruin Lucy's date just so he could go out with her! She later kicked him and shouted for a bit until she calmed down and he bought her ice cream and watched a marathon of chick flicks with her. Then they were all better! :) I'm not sure what Laxus did, something pretty bad I bet. Or the Thunder Legion were just in a pranking mood. Yeah, Natsu and Gray hate the paperwork! It'll be crazy! I can't wait to write more!


	7. For You

**A/N:** Warning, there be angst, tragedy, so many crack pairings, and gratuitous use of historical facts ahead! **FairyTailErza12** asked for an uber-angsty GrayZa, well, hun, here it is. (Hope it's angsty enough for you!) I decided to make it a historical AU since I couldn't think of another good angsty setting. So here's the WW2 AU no one really asked for.

I did a good deal of research before writing this, so I hope I got most of the historical details correct. I am American so I went off of how things were on the American home front and the different organizations associated with the war effort. I have never understood why during WW1 women would pressure and shame men into joining up, since there were so many casualties. It was a horrific thing, it really was. It's one thing to be proud of your soldier, it's another thing entirely to shame a man into possibly losing his life because of you.

I must say, I am surprised that all the requests I've gotten have been for crack pairings, none of the canon ones! Maybe it's because I'm open to all the crack?

 **Housekeeping, aka shameless self-promotion!** Please do me a huge favor and check out my profile for a list of my story ideas (and know that is not all of them, I have LOADS more). If there is a story you would like me to update or start writing, **_please_** tell me in a review or PM. I don't ever ask y'all for reviews or anything else, but please do this for me. I need some help for ideas!

 **X (guest)** was the 30th reviewer. If you don't claim your free oneshot, it will go to the 35th reviewer. The 40th will also get a free oneshot.

 **Genre:** Angst/Tragedy

 **Pairings:** GrayZa, CoLu, Natsu/Yukino, Miraxus, GaLe, Lyvia (Lyon/Juvia), Sting/Meredy (for you, **thefourteenthdarkone!** ), Rogue/Lisanna (don't even ask where this one came from, I have no clue.), AlBis, and Baccana.

 _I dare you not to cry as you read this._

* * *

"I don't care what _you_ do! Join the war effort, stay at home, heck, join the freaking WAVES for all I care! Just stop hounding _me_ about joining up!" Gray was shouting. He raked his hands through his hair and glared at the scarlet woman seated on the chair in front of him. Erza was unbowed by his uncharacteristic show of temper. All right, so she had pushed him past his breaking point. But weren't patriotic women supposed to push their men into joining the military to fight for their country?

Maybe she was going about it the wrong way. Erza was just so _ashamed_. Not of Gray, oh no, never. She hated that some of the women of the town looked down on her simply because her husband wasn't a soldier. All the other women in their town of Magnolia had been talking about their husbands, sons, and sweethearts joining up. Just last week, Kagura had boasted about her brother Simon getting shipped out at the rank of sergeant. She looked right at Erza and asked in a fake pitying voice why Gray hadn't yet enlisted. After all, didn't he care about his country?

Erza had never wanted to hit someone so badly in her life.

Lucy and Juvia had both comforted her. But honestly, did they know the shame Erza felt? How much the catty remarks hurt her? Of course not. Lucy's husband Erik and Juvia's sweetheart Lyon had both left the same time as Simon. They, along with boys Erza had grown up with, had eagerly enlisted, not waiting for the draft.

Laxus, leaving behind his wife Mirajane and their four children.

Sting who left a pregnant Meredy to run their post office with the help of Lisanna, Sting's cousin Rogue's wife.

Lucy had three children at home as well as another one on the way. Erik as a doctor was bound to have been called up sooner or later.

Cana had refused to let Bacchus leave her behind, so the two had joined the USO determined to open a canteen to help the boys have a little taste of home while overseas.

Levy and Wendy, sisters, had followed their brothers Jellal and Mystogan, both doctors, into the Red Cross as nurses. Levy's husband Gajeel was a Navy man somewhere in the Far East.

Alzack left his wife Bisca and daughter Asuka to join a sniper unit.

Even Natsu, who was practically Erza's little brother and Gray's long standing rival, had leapt into the military, taking up a position as a munitions expert. His wife Yukino had confided to Erza that she wasn't too worried about Natsu. "After all, he has the resiliency of a cockroach." Not the most flattering statement, but very true.

Nab, Max, Warren, Jet, Droy, Loke, Gildarts, Macbeth, Freed, Macao, Wakaba, Elfman, Bixlow. The list went on and on. All of them had done the right thing, the _patriotic_ thing, and joined up.

So why was Gray one of the only men left in Magnolia?

She was silent as she watched him rage up and down the small living room. Erza knew she wasn't the only one pressuring him. His mother Ur and his sister Ultear had made it clear that they expected him to join. Ultear had left a month ago to join the WASPs. Erza herself would have become a member if someone wasn't needed to stay behind and run their general store. Ur could no doubt do it herself, but a pregnancy and need kept Erza at home.

Gray stopped pacing and turned on her suddenly. "Why?" He demanded. "Why do you want me to join so badly?"

"Because it is the right thing to do." Came her calm reply. Gray scoffed.

"'The right thing to do?' To leave my store behind? To leave my pregnant wife alone to go fight Mavis knows where in a country that isn't mine? All the propaganda has turned your head, Erza." Scowling, Gray threw himself down into another chair. She waited until he calmed down and got himself back under control. To be honest, when he was angry, he rather scared her because it was just so unusual for Gray to loose his cool. He was known in Magnolia as one of the most level headed men in town.

Erza sighed and stood up, walking over to behind her husband. She rested both hands on his shoulders and squeezed gently. "I just want you to do the right thing, Gray."

"It's against everything I stand for, Erza. I'm not a pacifist, but I don't condone the war."

"Gray," Erza's voice was full of conviction. He had never let her lay out her reasons for wanting him to join up. Now that he was giving her a chance, she wasn't about to let it slip. "I'm not asking you to fight for me. I'm asking you to protect our child and his future."

Gray looked up at her quizzically. Erza moved around to clasp his hands. "I don't want our baby to grow up in a country where they are not free. In France and other countries, there are mothers who don't have that luxury, who can't raise their children properly. Their countries aren't their own. They need our help."

"And that's why you think I should fight?"

"Yes."

Gray was silent. "Very well," he said quietly. "I will fight, Erza, but I won't fight because the government says I should, or because the gossips in town are humiliating you, or even for the bigger picture. I will fight for you." He pulled Erza into his arms. "For you," he whispered in her ear. One hand moved down to rest on her belly. "And for our baby."

* * *

 _~~~Six months later~~~_

When the telegram came, Erza was alone, just as she had been the day he left.

 _Mrs. Erza S Fullbuster=_

 _The Secretary of War desires me to express his deep sympathy in the loss of your husband Captain Gray D Fullbuster_

 _Report received states he died eighteen December in France as result of wounds received in action_

 _Letter follows_

 _Mest Gryder the Adjacent General_

Erza shut herself up in her room for two weeks. When she came out, her friends was stunned to see her acting the same way she used to.

What they didn't know was how she cried herself to sleep every night. How she wished she hadn't fought so hard to convince him. How she wished the war had never happened. If she hadn't had something to live for, she would have followed him to the grave before a month was out.

Gray was the only man in Magnolia killed during the whole war.

Erza lived for both of them, and for their child.

* * *

As she raised a young red haired, dark eyed boy all by herself, she would tell him stories of his father. "He was a soldier, the bravest one there ever was."

"Was he really, mama?"

"Yes, my love. He was the best and the bravest." She would stare off into the distance, as if seeing her soldier husband. His beautiful smile, the way he would look at her with so much love, the last sight she had of him as he boarded his train, the train that took him to his death. He had blown her a kiss and she had returned it.

It was the last kiss they shared.

"He fought for _us_. Not for the bigger picture, but for you and for me.

"He fought because he loved us and that was all that mattered."

* * *

 **A/N:** The telegram that Erza received is almost an exact copy of another death notification I found on the internet. I was originally going to have Gray and Erza part on bad terms, but decided that that would be _too_ angsty even for my angst loving heart. Soldiers and their families mean a lot to me, so I tried to portray them as best as I could.

 _ **~~~Review replies~~~**_

 _Eien ni Touko-_ I'm glad you like the idea! Yes, Natsu has no idea what commas are, but that will change as he gets older. ;) And your fluffy CoLu should go up in a couple of days. :) Did you notice the CoLu in this story?

 _snibs13-_ Yes, they are so cute!

 _FairyTailErza12-_ Thank you, darlin'! I'm glad you liked the pen pal idea. :) Here, have some angst! I dare you not to cry!

 _Absolute-ZERO999-_ Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. :) There will be much more!

 _X (guest)-_ Aww, thank you! That was such a nice compliment. :) As for the pairing question, in the anime, I ship the canon couples, NaLu, Jerza, Gruvia, GaLe, you know, those ones. Fanfiction, on the other hand, to me, everyone is game. I like crack shippings most of all which is why they will pop up a good deal in my stories. Does that answer your question? And don't forget to claim your oneshot!


	8. If you don't stop singing that song

**A/N:** No angst today, loves. And no crack pairings, either! It's an actual canon pairing for once. ;) I blame the Turtle Beta for this one. She is my enabler.

I'm thinking of putting a poll up on my profile to see which pairings y'all want to see more of. What do you think of that?

40th reviewer gets a free oneshot! (Don't worry, **Eien** and **X** , your oneshots should be out soon.)

Also, if you would like to see my update schedule for the rest of my stories (ha! what schedule?) I can post it on the next chapter.

 **Pairing:** Gruvia (Gray/Juvia)

 **Genre:** Romance and Humor

 **Prompt:** I don't know if you know this but I can hear you singing anime theme songs in the shower every morning and I like almost all the shows you watch.

I apologize in advance to any Black Butler fans. I have never watched it, but I needed an anime to bash and spoil. So, sorry if you don't like that, but I regret nothing.

* * *

Juvia normally didn't mind her neighbor's morning ritual of singing anime openings in the shower. He had a nice voice and quite the repertoire. His version of Be As One by w-inds was AMAZING. It could be rather soothing. She knew most of the songs and would hum along as she showered, since the apartment was were really thin. Okay, that was a little creepy. They both had similar tastes in anime, Juvia had idly noted. She had never _seen_ her neighbor before, but he had a really nice voice…

Juvia usually appreciated his morning vocal endeavors (especially when he sang Snow Fairy).

Except today.

Today she was in a bad mood.

Her alarm hadn't gone off in time. Which meant she would get a late start to her day.

She was out of coffee. Which meant she would have to buy an overpriced coffee that didn't even taste good (and Juvia knew good coffee. She hadn't worked in a coffee shop all through high school and college for nothing!)

And Gajeel was begging for a ride to work. Which meant only after being bribed with ice cream and him spilling the details of how he really felt about Levy (none of this pansy stuff about thinking she's just a little bookworm who was kind of cute), Juvia would take Gajeel to work.

What could she say? She was a sucker for Blue Bell cookie dough ice cream, a fact Gajeel exploited regularly.

But it was shower time, Juvia time. And she wasn't really feeling up to being serenaded (albeit secondhandedly) this morning.

Did that stop mystery man from singing?

No, it did not.

As her neighbor began the opening lines of the Black Butler theme, an anime _she hated with a fierce and unrelenting passion_ , her patience snapped.

Maybe banging on the wall and shouting wasn't her best plan ever... She could have just gone over and politely asked him to not sing that particular song like a normal person. She'd get to meet him, too. But then he might stop. And she didn't want that.

So Juvia shouted.

"Stop singing that! Juvia hates that anime!" Oops. She didn't even know the guy and she was shouting at him while she showered. That didn't make her a weird person. Did it?

She could hear a slightly strangled yelp from the other side of the wall. Did he not know Juvia could hear him plain as day? Juvia must have startled him. He was quiet for a moment, possibly gathering his thoughts. It wasn't long before he shouted back.

"Well, I'm sorry! I just started it, okay? The song is catchy!"

Juvia was silent as the water poured over her. An evil smile worthy of Edward Elric curled her lips upward. Gajeel usually began running when he saw that smile. It boded well for no one. If _her_ morning was ruined, she had no qualms of ruining her mystery neighbor's. She leaned forward and shouted at the wall.

"CIEL DIES IN THE END!"

A long silence stretched on with no end in sight. Had he heard her…?

"AHHHHHHH!" His bloodcurdling and rather feminine scream of fury rent the early morning air. Juvia jumped and nearly cracked her head on the tile of the shower. Well, now she knew he had heard her... "DANG IT! NOW I CAN'T FINISH IT! STUPID WOMAN YOU JUST SPOILED THE WHOLE STORY FOR ME! I HATE YOU!"

Juvia snickered. Her snickers turned into full blown gales of laughter. "JUVIA..." She gasped out. "JUVIA ISN'T SORRY! JUVIA HATES BLACK BUTLER SO SHE DISCOURAGES ANYONE FROM WATCHING IT BY SPOILING THE END!"

"WELL THANK A LOT JUVIA! I HATE SPOILERS! AND NOW I DON'T LIKE YOU VERY MUCH!" Woah, he used her name even when he was shouting? Juvia was impressed. She shut off the shower and got out, humming the whole time.

Then she realized she was humming the Black Butler opening.

"DANG IT! NOW YOU HAVE THE SONG STUCK IN JUVIA'S HEAD!"

"HA! IT'S ONLY FAIR!"

"JUVIA HATES YOU VERY MUCH RIGHT NOW!"

"WELL GRAY HATES JUVIA JUST AS MUCH FOR SPOILING BLACK BUTLER!"

"JUVIA ISN'T GOING TO APOLOGIZE TO GRAY NO MATTER HOW MUCH HE ASKS!" Wow, this was more fun than trying to get a reaction from Gajeel! Who knew Juvia would enjoy messing with strangers so much? Seemed that she had a sadistic side she hadn't noticed. Shouting matches at 7am were quite fun, Juvia had to say.

"WELL IF YOU WON'T APOLOGIZE THROUGH THE WALL, I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU! I'M COMING OVER!"

Juvia froze, confusion crawling over her delicate features. _He was...coming over?_ She shrugged and pulled her shorts on.

It was only as she tugged a tank top over her head that she realized what he had said.

Her mysterious, anime singing, no doubt very cute neighbor named Gray was coming over to shout at her for spoiling Black Butler for him.

Oh boy.

 _Oh boy._

 _He was coming over!_ What was she supposed to do? How was she supposed to act? The bluenette had a sudden moment of panic as her body went on auto as she finished dressing and her mind went berserk.

A furious knock made Juvia shriek and jump ten feet in the air. Nearly breaking her neck as she stumbled over a pair of shoes she didn't remember leaving in the hall, Juvia hurried through her living room to the front door.

She peeped through the little hole in the door hoping to get a glimpse of her mystery man. She was frustrated in that endeavor and decided to just open the door.

Juvia wasn't sure what she had been expecting, but a very attractive dark haired, shirtless, and still slightly wet man was not it. Holy cow, look at his _abs…_

Juvia gulped. "Uh, hi." She managed to squeak out. He was staring.

"Hi," he said back, still staring. What was he staring at? He needed to stop. It was quite rude.

"I'm Juvia," she said, resisting the urge to wave a hand in front of his face.

"I'm Gray." He then seemed to remember that he was mad at her and scowled. "I have a bone to pick with you."

"If it's about spoiling Black Butler, Juvia isn't sorry." She crossed her arms over her chest. "Cute stranger or no, Juvia refuses to apologize. Black Butler is one of her least favorite animes."

Gray tipped his head to the side, studying her. "Then what is your favorite?"

"Fairy Tail!" Juvia exclaimed, a broad smile curling up her lips. "Juvia loves Fairy Tail. She really likes when Gray sings Snow Fairy or Be As One out of all the anime openings he sings." Wait, had she just said that out loud? As Gray's eyes bugged out, Juvia felt a sinking feeling in her stomach. Yep, she had said that out loud, where the whole world could hear that she listened to her neighbor sing in the shower and even had a preference.

Juvia wished the ground would open up and swallow her whole.

"You… Ah… Wha… You actually listen to my singing?" Gray blurted out.

Juvia fiddled with her hair, suddenly shy. "Yes," she said honestly. "Juvia enjoys hearing Gray sing in the morning. It makes her happy. She was just having a very bad morning today and she took it out on Gray. Juvia is sorry for that. Juvia likes hearing anime openings first thing. It makes her day a little better." Gray smiled slightly at that. "S'okay, Juvia. Hey, at least we finally got to meet this way." Juvia nodded and they were both quiet for a long time.

"Has Gray ever heard Taylor Davis's cover of the Fairy Tail theme?"

Gray shook his head. "I haven't. Is it good?" Juvia nodded eagerly.

"Would you like to hear it? Juvia doesn't have to go to work for a little while." Gray rubbed his chin, thinking out loud.

"Well, if you considered it your apology for ruining my morning, my anime, and my singing schedule, I _suppose_ I could." He sent her a wicked look. Juvia snorted. "Juvia isn't sorry she ruined the anime, but she is sorry about the morning and singing. There, is Gray happy?"

He nodded. "Yeah, that'll work. Now, you were saying?" Juvia grinned and opened her door wider to invite him in. She belatedly realized that she had been forcing him to stand outdoors while they chatted.

"Come in, please." As he came in and they started chatting, Juvia knew she was going to have to tell Gajeel that she would not be picking him up.

She had better things to do.

* * *

 **A/N:** Blue Bell ice cream is life. If you have never tasted it, you are a poor soul. And yes, I will continue to drool over Gray's abs as much as I can.

 _ **~~~Review replies~~~**_

(Just so you know, the line last chapter where I said Gray was the only one to die was the hardest to write of the whole story! Almost all of you commented on that line!)

 _FairyTailErza12-_ Yes, it was sad, but that was the point. ;) I'm glad you liked your request! I enjoyed writing it! I will definitely be revisiting the historical AU, it was fun to write. :)

 _Viperhat-_ Giddy for GrayZa angst? Hey, whatever floats your ship! ;) I personally love history, it was my favorite subject in school, so this was so much fun to write. GrayxMira? I don't think I've ever heard of that ship! I will give it my best shot. :)

 _X (guest)_ \- Aw, at least you didn't cry. ;) More angsty GrayZa? Sheesh people you never request happy fics! ;) Just kidding, that's more than fine. I'm glad you claimed your oneshot!

 _AbsoluteZERO-999-_ I'm glad you thought I stayed in character! I was a bit worried that Gray wasn't, but I'm glad you liked it. :)

 _BridgeBurn100-_ Aw, poor dear. I'll try and get some happy GrayZa written up for you! Have you read chapter two of this collection? It's quite funny if I do say so myself. ;)

 _snibs13-_ Yes, poor Gray! I love history and I didn't want to make any mistakes (incorrect historical facts in books and movies make my blood boil). I'm glad you liked it!


	9. Of Freak Outs and Obscure OTPs

**A/N:** This is honestly about how the Turtle Beta and I react to our favorite stories/authors updating. (I'm looking at you, Eien ni Touko, Dragon's Host, Lone Storm, and MissyPlatina).

Actually, this pretty much describes how Fanfiction and I function together. Yes, I scream (internally) and kick up a fuss (internally) and just get so excited, especially when I get a review alert or a follow/favorite. Hmm... What does that say about my social life or lack thereof? Honestly, there are times I'd rather be writing or reading fanfiction than be around people. And that is more than okay with me. :)

 **Also, I now have a poll up on my profile.** It's for what couples y'all would like to see more of in the Great Collection. I tried to put all the canon couples as well as as many crack pairings I could think of as options. You can vote for up to 27 choices and there is about every choice under the sun (though I may have missed a couple). So please, go check it out! I'll leave it open for a long time. :) Also, can someone please explain why none of you ask for canon couples? It's a phenomenon I'd like explained! ;)

This is for **Eien ni Touko,** queen of CoLu. ;) Hope you like it, hun!

50th reviewer gets a oneshot!

 **Pairing:** CoLu (Cobra/Lucy)

 **Prompt:** we both ship the same obscure pairing, let's get married right now but first let's share headcanons

 **Genre:** Romance/friendship/humor with a dash of parody

* * *

Lucy sighed as she trawled through the archives yet again. She had been fruitlessly searching for a new fic about her OTP, Erik and Ashley, but it seemed that she was the only person in the entire Fairy Tail fandom who shipped the two! Was it too much to ask to find someone else who shipped them? She was tired of reading her fics over and over. Besides, she seemed to be the only one who read them. Well, other than her faithful, beloved Beta Levy ( **queenofsolidscript** ) who always commented with good, detailed reviews on every story. Lucy did so love Levy, the sweetheart.

Lucy slumped in her chair. She knew her OTP was not a popular one. She had actually come up with it herself. Most people wouldn't think so, but she thought the two had great chemistry. Even though they never spoke at all in the anime. But hey, that was what fanfiction was for, right? Putting couples together who otherwise would never be real?

Ashley was strong without being an overpowered character. So she could be a little whiney at times; she still reacted like a normal person would when stuck in crazy situations. Erik was snarky and a little harsh, but he seemed like he could be a good person if given the chance. All in all, Lucy shipped them. She shipped them like it was going out of style.

Sighing for what had to be the 502nd time today, she hit the refresh button on the archive search.

She stared blankly at the new story that had been posted in the thirty seconds since she had last refreshed the page. _Lover of Poison_ by **poisondragonslayer**.

The shriek Lucy let out could have roused the dead in Greece.

The force of her excitement had her launching herself out of her seat, screeching and dancing about in a circle. Someone else had posted an ErAsh story! _Someone else had posted an ErAsh story!_ Lucy was so excited she might burst! Barely able to restrain herself, she instantly pulled up her PM chat with Levy.

 **From: survey the heavens**

 **To: queenofsolidscript**

 _Levy! SOMEONE POSTED AN ERASH STORY! I THINK I'M GOING TO DIE OF EXCITEMENT! It's called Lover of Poison by_ ** _poisondragonslayer_** _. They must be a new author because I've never seen that username. I haven't read it yet, but I needed to tell someone before I turned into a puddle of goo!_

Sending the message, she clicked on the story and began reading. As she had guessed, the writer was a new author. The story was _amazing_. So amazing, Lucy was a little jealous. **poisondragonslayer** seemed to have the ability to get inside Erik's head like no one she had ever read before. She herself always had trouble writing his POV so most of her oneshots were from Ashley's POV.

The story was a sweet one. It focused on Erik's thoughts about Ashley as their relationship progressed, from the first time he ever said her name to the first time he kissed her. Lucy couldn't help squeeing and cooing and doing a happy dance in her chair as she read the story. It was just what she needed today!

When the story was over, Lucy sat back and closed her eyes. She just wanted to bask in the fluff and happiness for a little bit.

Now she needed to leave a review and express her deep happiness to **poisondragonslayer.**

 _AHHHH! A NEW ERASH STORY! *doing dance of great happiness and pure joy plus a good deal of shock*_

 _Okay! I could gush but I don't want to freak you out. I was so excited to see a new ErAsh story. I didn't think there was anyone else in the whole fandom who shipped them besides myself and_ ** _queenofsolidscript_** _. I might cry…_

 _I loved everything about this story. You really have a way of writing Erik's POV that is great. I have trouble writing him, but I think I'll try again since you inspired me!_

 _I can't wait to see more of your writing! Welcome to the ErAsh Club! ;)_

Lucy hit publish on her comment then hastily turned off her computer and put it away. She had class in the morning and had already spent waaaay too much time on fanfiction.

As she snuggled down under her covers, she sighed happily. _Finally, someone else who ships them_ , she thought muzzily. Lucy slipped off into dreamland.

* * *

Lucy hid her laptop from herself all the next day. Her phone, too. If she didn't, she knew it would be impossible to stay off of the fanfiction site. _Impossible_ , I tell you! Besides, she had homework that needed to be done!

Let's face reality here, Lucy was a poor college student with little to no social life outside of the people she wrote with on fanfiction sites. She was boring and she didn't mind at all. Others might want to go out and do crazy things, Lucy didn't.

What she _really_ wanted to do was see if **poisondragonslayer** had replied to her comment on the story. She had posted it last night then immediately put all her electronic devices away to resist the temptation. Otherwise, she'd be checking her email every ten minutes, refreshing her archive search, and stalking **poisondragonslayer**.

Resolutely, Lucy worked on her homework. She could feel her resolve wavering. _What if I made it a reward for myself? Finish this study guide and those questions, then check fanfiction. Surely that wouldn't hurt?_

Somehow it seemed that she was attempting to fool herself. Lucy banged her head against the table. _Bad Lucy! Must. Finish. Homework! No. Fanfiction!_

With renewed fervor (and no small amount of desperation), Lucy blew through the rest of her work. "YES!" She whooped, throwing down her pencil and bolting across the room to where she had hidden her devices. She checked her email first. Of course, the _one_ day she wanted it to run fast, the internet was being super, suuuper slow. Lucy tapped her fingers impatiently on her leg. "C'mon, c'mon!" The ding of incoming messages always made her grin.

Her brown eyes bugged out as she realized she had _46 emails_. "Ehhhh!" She yelped, nearly dropping her phone. Scooping it back up, Lucy gaped. She did a quick count. Seven of them were from Levy, and the rest…

Lucy froze. All the rest were from **poisondragonslayer**. _What the_ ** _heck_** _?_

She clicked on the first one. It was a reply to her review of…his? hers? (she needed to look at the bio to find out)…the story. Before reading it, she hastily checked the bio, just so she wasn't calling the author the wrong gender, at least in her head.

It was short and to the point.

 **Name: Cobra**

 **Gender: male**

 **Fandoms: Fairy Tail**

 **Favorite Ships: ErAsh (Erik/Ashley)**

That was it. "Okay, then," Lucy muttered. He only shipped ErAsh? Lucy shrugged internally. _Whatever floated his ship._

Okay, that was a horrific pun. She clicked back over to the review reply.

 _I'm glad you liked the story,_ ** _survey the heavens_** _. Gush away, I'm used to it. Yeah, I ship ErAsh and so do some of my other friends. They aren't on fanfiction or I'd tell you their usernames. I'll tell them about your stories. They're really great, your stories I mean. I think you're a good writer. I like your Ashley. She's strong without being overpowered. Erik could use a little work, but all of his interactions with Ashley seem very real. He's snarky and I like that. If you write another story, I should know since I'm following you now._

 _And thanks._

 **poisondragonslayer**

Lucy didn't move for several long moments.

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Her phone flew out of her hands and landed in an unknown location as she bolted straight up and began screaming. Her hands began flapping about spastically as she lost control of her emotions. _OHMYGOODNESSAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! This…I can't…I just can't! AHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! He likes my stories! He thinks I'm a good author! I don't think any guy has ever said something so nice to me!_

Hysterical laughter bubbled up in her throat and came out in waves of much needed mirth. She, Lucy Heartfilia, was having a meltdown because someone complimented her. Lucy sighed and rolled her eyes. She was a nut. A complete and utter goofball.

Her smile lingered.

Calming down, she clicked through the rest of her emails. Most of Levy's emails were comments on Lucy's newest story ideas from their PM chats. There were two informing her that **poisondragonslayer** was now following her and he had favorited her. For some reason, that made a warm feeling start to bloom in her chest. All the other alerts were reviews from him.

 **poisondragonslayer** was officially her new favorite follower. _Sorry, Levy._

Lucy hummed to herself as she replied to all of his reviews. Her grin spread from ear to ear. It was so nice to find someone else who liked her OTP. Maybe, and this was a big maybe, **poisondragonslayer** could become a friend? That would be nice. On the last PM, she wrote at the bottom:

 _By the way, you can call me Lucy._

* * *

It was official.

Lucy hated school.

Not only was it cutting into her non-existent social life, she hadn't been able to look at fanfiction or her email in _two weeks_. Grrrrrr… It was honestly _very_ exasperating. After she had connected with **poisondragonslayer** , or Cobra he insisted she call him, the two had become instant semi-friends. Wait, was that even a thing? She didn't know, but she liked him. He was funny, sarcastic, and gruff. Some of the things he wrote in their long strings of PM messages had her rolling on the floor with laughter. Sadly, she hadn't been able to talk to him in recent days. Lucy hoped he would understand. Especially since it didn't seem she would be talking anytime soon, she thought as she gave her pile of books a sidelong glance of intense hatred.

Why, oh why had she voluntarily taken physics, politics, history of Fiore, calculus, English, and a bonus creative writing class all in the same year?

Because she was an idiot. That was all there was to it.

Annnnd she had forgotten her backpack. Lucy sank into the chair and groaned. There were times she hated her blondness.

With a heartfelt sigh, Lucy heaved herself back up and picked up her stack of textbooks, groaning internally. And her apartment was all the way on the other side of campus, too! Well, she had better get going. _Homework, housework, and death wait for no one._ Lucy trudged along the sidewalk, tired and cross with herself. All she wanted to do was check fanfiction, take a long relaxing bath, maybe burn all her teachers in effigy…

Wallowing in self-pity and irritation, Lucy didn't see the group of people heading on a collision course toward her. Naturally she only realized when one of the group, a maroon haired man, accidentally bumped her.

Books and papers flew every which way as Lucy landed smack on her butt in the middle of the sidewalk. Curses flew from her mouth, raining the fury of an exhausted woman on him and his family back ten generations. _That was going to leave a freaking painful bruise on a really sensitive area!_ She scrabbled to pick up her papers before they blew away. _Idiot, didn't he watch where he was going?_ A dark hand landed on the paper she was about to pick up. She glanced up with wide eyes.

"Sorry."

Lucy gaped like an idiot. The first thing that sprang into her sleep-deprived, too caffeinated brain was: _good heavens, he has really pretty eyes._ And they were really pretty, a dark bluish purple that was complimented by his mocha skin and rich maroon locks. She was gawking like a school girl with her first crush and she was not ashamed of that fact. Nope, not in the slightest.

"Here. I think this is yours." He held the paper out to her expectantly. She took it shakily, trying to regain her composure.

"Thank you."

The two worked in silence to gather up the rest of her errant belongings. Lucy kept sneaking glances at him. As they finished up, he offered a hand up that she shyly took. "Thanks again…?" She trailed off with a raised eyebrow. He shoved his hands into his pockets, glancing at her out of the corner of his eyes.

"Cobra," he said gruffly.

The books and papers slipped from her arms to land at a very startled Lucy's feet. Cobra gave her a look of disbelief. Down at the books then back up at her "Are you freaking kidding me? What is your problem, girl?"

"Lucy," she whispered. A huge grin spread over her face. "You can call me Lucy." A matching look of disbelief made his gorgeous eyes widen. "Wait, _Lucy_? Like, fanfiction Lucy?" She nodded, her hands shooting up to her mouth as giggles tried to leak out. One look at her and Cobra snickered. They ended up leaning against each other, both shaking with laughter.

Cobra straightened, holding her up. He grinned down at the red faced, still giggling blonde. "So you're **survey the heavens**?" She beamed and nodded her head.

"And you're **poisondragonslayer**!" Lucy's eyes were so bright with happiness. She rested a hand on his arm, stopping him from picking up her books and papers again. "Let's get married right now."

Cobra snickered. "Sure, but let's share headcanons first."

"Okay, I can do that. Wanna go to the coffee shop and tell me what you think about the last chapter of the manga?"

"Heck yes. Let's get all your books and head over there. You're really blonde, you know? Since you managed to drop the same books and papers twice in the space of five minutes."

"Oh shut up. Help me then we can chat."

"Yes ma'am."

"No, it's Aye, sir!"

"Shut up."

"Nuh uh, you're stuck with me now, Cobra!"

"I'm leaping with joy, Lucy."

"…It's nice to meet you, by the way."

"Nice to meet you, too."

"Now come on, we have headcanons to discuss and a wedding to plan."

* * *

 **A/N:** This was so much fun to write. XD And yeah, I do react like that pretty often. I'm such a spaz. ;P

Next time, maybe some angsty GrayZa depending on whether I get it written up. Please, y'all, ask for some happier stories! Angst and dark weather for me combines to make a depressed author and I don't think you want that!

 _ **~~~Review replies~~~**_

 _Martyn (guest)_ -I'm sorry, I won't be doing your suggestion as the next chapter. I have a general plan, and prompts and oneshots are published when I have them written up. I will get to it eventually so please be patient.

 _snibs13-_ I'm glad you liked it! I'm jealous of Juvie, too, but whatever. ;) The abs. The abs are like Erza's cake, they must always have a place in the stories, at least the tiniest mention. Isn't it just so pretty? I love her music so much. It makes me happy! Have you heard her version of Brothers from Fullmetal Alchemist?

 _The Turtle Beta-_ Haha, don't worry, your story will come soon enough. :)

 _Dragon's Host-_ I'm glad you liked it! Dragons, of course dragons are going to be discussed with these two. ;) Thank you! Hearing that means a lot to me. Trying to get it just right was a bit stressful :) And yes, CoLu manages to sneak into all the stories somehow! :)


	10. Don't listen to the evil Fairy, Lucy!

**A/N:** Okay, so I lied. It was too gloomy here today to write any angst. So here's a short little thing that I hope will make you chuckle. :)

Please, guys, ask me for happier stories. During the winter, I will not be writing angst just so you are all aware of that.

50th reviewer gets a free oneshot!

 **Also, check out the poll on my profile/bio and vote for the pairings you want to see! If there isn't one listed that you want, please PM me or leave a review and I'll add them to the poll. :)**

 **Pairing:** RoLu if you squint, Gajeel/Lucy broship, Gajeel/Rogue broship

 **Genre:** humor/frienship

 **Prompt:** "I mistook you for my best friend and jumped on your back in public and now I'm embarrassed" au

* * *

As Lucy was sitting quietly in the bus stop waiting for her bus, something prompted her to glance up. Normally, she would just sit and read her book or write a little while waiting. Or she'd people watch and use them as ideas and inspiration for her novel. It just so happened that she glanced up and spotted a familiar head of shaggy black hair. She blinked, doing a double take. Was that Gajeel? She had missed him! How long had it been since she had been able to visit him and Levy since she moved to Magnolia?

A mischievous fairy chose that moment to whisper a wicked idea in Lucy's ear. One she promptly acted upon. She was best friends with Natsu and Gray, after all. The past eight years had made her a little… _insane_.

Lucy tucked her book into her bag and slung the bag over her shoulder. Years of aiding in pranks had made her an expert at silent movement. Because honestly, Natsu moving silently? Yeah, when Hell froze over.

She slipped through the suddenly crowded sidewalk and broke into a run when she got close to the black haired man. Lucy's slim legs bent as she launched herself at him in a flying hug.

"GAJEEL!"

She and the man went tumbling to the ground head over heels. _Owww…_ Lucy groaned slightly as she felt her tights rip. Crap, those were nice tights, too! _Okay, Lucy, not your best plan ever, doll._

"What the heck was that?!" Oh, right, the guy she had just tackled wasn't Gajeel.

What.

 _The guy she had just tackled wasn't Gajeel._

"Oh, gosh." She came face to face with the irate man she had knocked to the ground. He was glaring at her in an attempt to most likely disintegrate her and turn her bones to dust.

 _I knew I shouldn't have listened to the evil Fairy!_

"I'm so sorry!" Lucy said frantically. "I thought you were someone else, one of my friends I haven't seen in a while. It was the hair. He has hair just like your's except his was longer the last time I saw him and come to think of it, he's taller than you I think and I'm so sorry for jumping on you!" Lucy covered her scarlet face and refused to look up.

"It's okay."

With that, he was gone, leaving Lucy alone in the middle of the sidewalk, staring after him with confusion writ on her features.

* * *

Two weeks later, Rogue was sitting at an outdoor patio of a coffee shop with his older brother Gajeel. It was the first time they were able to visit since Rogue had moved to Magnolia two weeks before. Gajeel was the same obnoxious guy he had ever been.

"Nice haircut," Gajeel snickered. Rogue gave a long-suffering sigh and rolled his eyes.

"I got it so I wouldn't be mistaken for you and injured," he said blandly. Before Gajeel could question him as to what the _heck_ he meant, Rogue was half knocked over by a flying blonde blur.

"GRAY!"

"NOT AGAIN!"

* * *

 ** _~~~Review Replies~~~_**

 _The Turtle Beta_ -Yeah, I loved those parts too! *^* It was just so much fun to write! :D

 _snibs13-_ Sometimes the crack pairings are more fun because it's different than the canon couples. :) Oh, you should see me spaz out when I get a review or PM from one of my senpai's! :D I practically live in my head, so people just bother me. -_-

 _Eien ni Touko-_ *scratches cheek* Weeeeeeellllllllll... I may or may not have been stalking you and Dragon for like six months now, way before I joined FF? (I'm totally not joking.) But honestly, Lucy's reactions were all me. :) She was so much fun to write! I'm thinking about doing a companion from Cobra's POV, because that would be so much fun. XD I'm so glad you liked it! :D It was so much fun to write, it should have been illegal. :)

 _Lily (guest)_ -I'm glad you liked it and my other stories. You should leave reviews so maybe you could get a oneshot. ;) And yes, the group Cobra was with was the Oracion Seis. I'm planning on writing a companion piece from Cobra's POV. And yes, the marriage bit. XD That was one of my favorite parts to write! :D His friends are totally like, dude. What is going on.


	11. Cold As You

**A/N:** Okay, so this one is a smidge more personal, a bit like the CoLu oneshot I published a while back (i'd give away my soul). I once loved someone very much, but things sort of fell apart after two years. It hurt, and still hurts, since we had been best friends since we were little and now we never even talk. So yeah. I'm philosophical at 12am so I write angsty oneshots that have a root in real life.

I think I need to go to bed.

 **Pairing:** onesided GrayZa, Jerza

 **Prompt:** none really, just that it needed to be angsty. I sort of was inspired by **Taylor Swift's song Cold As You.** (Because honestly, it's perfect for Gray.)

Here you go, **X!** I finally got inspiration for this one. Enjoy! :) (sorry it's so short.)

* * *

How had it happened? How had he been pushed out as the most important man in her life?

It had been a subtle shift. When the blue haired son of a motherless goat had joined their guild, he had been pushed aside.

She was all over _him_ , blushing and stuttering when _he_ complimented her hair, her fighting style, everything about her.

While they were growing all lovey-dovey, serenaded by the cheers of the guild, he sat in the corner alone.

Sulking.

There was nothing he could do. If she was happy, that was all that mattered, wasn't it?

Loving was like that. Sometimes you had to let them go if their happiness was being with someone else.

She was so happy. Beaming from ear to ear. He couldn't bring himself to shatter her joy.

Didn't mean you had to like the letting go, of course.

And he _hated_ it. He had once been an important figure in her life. Now, he barely rated a single glance from her.

What happened to friendship?

How did you stop loving someone so easily, as if you had just flipped a switch?

He tried to take his mind off the new 'adorable' couple by taking long solo jobs. It became routine to go to the guild, take a job, grunt a bit in Mira's direction, then head out. Once he completed the job, he'd repeat the cycle.

He had never been one to talk about feelings. He sucked at it, honestly.

But now he grew even more closed off. Darkness marred his features.

It was one thing to be chilly with people.

It was another completely to turn into an internal raging blizzard of grief, pain, and shut yourself off from everyone.

Mira was the only one who seemed to know something was wrong and that it had to do with _them_.

There was no use in defending words he would never say to her. He would never say I Love You.

But he'd dream about it.

She was his friend, the woman he loved, but she scarred him.

His heart would never be the same because of her.

He would probably stay that way for the rest of his life, if seeing Erza and Jellal together didn't kill him first.

Gray loved Erza, and he would love her to his grave.

* * *

 **A/N:** annnnnnd it's bedtime. Talk to ya later, peeps.

* * *

 _ **I will be hosting a MidKino week (Midnight/Yukino) from January 31 to February 6, 2016. Please join me in this new crack pairing love!**_

 **MidKino Week prompts**

 **Day one:** Can I keep you?

 **Day two:** Sugar High

 **Day three:** Roommates

 **Day four:** Late night shopping

 **Day five:** Makeup Fail

 **Day six:** Old Friends

 **Day seven:** Transport

 **Bonus:** Burnt

 ** _~~~Review replies~~~_**

 _snibs13-_ Yep, Lucy's evil fairy is always getting her into trouble. It's being friends with Gray and Natsu that has corrupted her. XD Rogue has no clue what's going on! It would be a cute multi-chap! I'll have to remember that. :) Rogue's POV? Hmm.. we'll see! :D

 _Maiokoe-_ Yep, being friends with Gray and Natsu has taught Lucy to throw caution to the winds. ;) He was more surprised than anything. And yeah, Sting divebombs him pretty regularly. ;) FLUFFINESS FOR THE WIN.

 _X (guest)-_ Three times? Wow, that's a lot of times to be attacked by people you don't know! And you are the fiftieth! So I'll get to working on your oneshot as quick as I can. I still have another one for you... 0_o

 _Lily (guest)_ -Yeah, I ship Lucy with everybody. She's just so shippable! :) I've already started writing Cobra's chapter! But work, rediscovering old stories, and my love affair with my sewing machine have kind of stalled things. My need to write way too much detail sometimes hampers my publishing. But, c'est la vie. :)

 _FairyTailErza12-_ Thanks! :)


	12. Bad Boys Meet Good Girls

**A/N:** So, I have a plan that I'm wondering about and I'd like to run by y'all. I think I'm going to republish most, if not all, of the oneshots in this collections as separate stories. It's mostly for personal reference _and_ if it's a multi chapter, you can read it all in one go. What do y'all think of that plan?

No, seriously, tell me. If you agree (I'm going to do it anyway ;)), which one should I republish first? And I'm not doing this for more reviews, it's mostly just for myself.

Also, if you remember back to chapter 8, the Gruvia story? Well, in it Juvia spoils the end of Black Butler. Turns out, the lady who plays Juvia in the dubbed version of FT also plays Ciel in Black Butler. 0_o My mind was blown when I found that out...

60th reviewer gets a oneshot!

 **Prompt:** Inspired by the song Check Yes, Juliet by We The Kings. (GO, I COMMAND YOU, LISTEN TO IT.)

 **Pairings:** Girls' best friendship (Mira, Erza, Lucy, Lisanna, Meredy, Yukino), boys 'best friendship, (Mard, Jellal, Cobra, Rogue, Sting, Midnight), Jerza, CoLu, MidKino (my crack pairing!), Steredy (gosh dang it, **thefourteenthdarkone** ), MiraMard (curse you **Eien** and **Dragon** ), RoLi (okay, that one's on me).

* * *

Five mouths hung open after Erza finished speaking. Cake was ignored, tea was getting cold, and shock was palpable in the air.

"You're dating Jellal Fernandes, Magnolia's head bad boy." Mira said blankly. Erza nodded slowly. Her friends continued to stare at her for a long time. The atmosphere grew a little stifling.

That was, until Erza noticed her friends looked a little guilty, all five studiously looking away from each other.

"Spill." Erza's sharp command made the girls jump. Several groans and twitches all around. Erza _knew_ they had been up to something. She knew it. Her secret radar had gone off. And it had to do with Jellal. Lucy took a deep breath.

"I'm dating Cobra," Lucy said, fiddling with her hair.

Meredy raised her hand. "Sting." Lisanna mimicked her and simply said, "Rogue."

Yukino's cheeks flushing deep pink as she whispered, "Midnight and I have been dating for about six months now." The other girls turned to stare at her in disbelief. Kino yelped and jumped at the sudden attention. "What! Was I supposed to tell you or something?"

"UM, _YES_!" All five shouted. Kino cringed. "Sorry!"

"Six months, Kino, really? And I didn't know about this?" Meredy looked sorrowfully at her friend, shaking her head slowly. Kino began protesting and devolved into an argument with Meredy as Erza fixed a laser like glare on her former rival.

"And you, Mirajane? Who are you dating? No doubt he has some association with the Oracion Seis."

Mira looked smug, the Demon that she used to be showing through her good girl facade. She took a sip of her lukewarm tea, grimaced, and put it back down. "Mard Geer." That was it, but it was enough to silence all of them.

"Mard Geer." Erza was stunned. Mard Geer? The Underworld King, head of the Demons of Tartaros?

Somehow, that didn't surprise Erza. Mira _had_ been known as the Demon when she was younger…

"Mard Geer?" Kino, Meredy, and Lisanna shrieked.

"Oh, Mard's pretty cool. Well read and easy on the eyes. I have a boyfriend, but ooo, Mira, you're a lucky girl." Slowly, they turned to stare at Lucy. The blonde wasn't looking up, but when she did, she jumped a bit at the looks she was getting. "What? I know him, okay? And he's sexy, too." Lucy's eyes glazed over for a moment. Hearts started to float around her head.

Until Mira jabbed her. "Oh, sorry. He and Cobra are good friends, surprisingly. Same with Midnight and Cobra." She turned a glare on Yukino. "Though I don't know why you never told us you two were dating." Kino rolled her eyes. She was never going to live this down.

Erza rubbed a hand over her face. Who knew that all of her girlfriends were dating the members of Magnolia's group of baddest boys? And here she had been worried that they would hate her. What a silly thought.

This group of girls were some of the most loyal women in the world. They stuck together through thick and thin. They supported each other, bolstered each other up, and loved unconditionally. Through Lucy's father problems, Yukino's sister's disappearance, Meredy's loss of her foster mother, Lisanna's serious injuries from an accident that had left her in a coma for over two years, Mira's despair and fear for her sister, and Erza's loss of so many of her old friends, they had each other.

The six had been through everything together. Their bond of sisterhood was stronger than any blood ties. Boys would never change that.

The quiet chatter started back up as Lucy got up to start more water for their tea when her phone went off.

 _All_ their phones went off. Lucy looked at her phone first. "It's from Cobra," she said, looking confused. As she read the message, a sly smile snaked across her face. Her friends all checked their phones. "Did you guys get a message asking to meet the boys, too?" They nodded and Lucy cackled. Meredy hurled a dishtowel at her head. "C'mon, Lucy, what do you know that we don't?"

"And does it have anything to do with the boys?" Mira was quick to add.

Lucy grinned and sat back down. She leaned forward conspiratorially. Unbidden, the others leaned forward, too. "Well," Lucy started, looking for all the world like the cat that got the canary. "Cobra texted me, asking if I could meet him tonight. _But_ , he also said that it was Jellal's idea. Jellal said that it was high time for all us girls to meet," muffled snickers of shock and amusement burst from the group. "I know. Cobra knows that _we_ all know each other, but the other boys don't. So he suggested when we go to meet them, we all come in together and just be totally calm about it."

Meredy grinned. "I like the way your man thinks."

"I agree, it'd be fun to see the shock on their faces when they realize we're best friends!" Yukino piped up, a wicked grin spreading over her face as she thought about Midnight's reaction. Lisanna and Mira exchanged high fives and laughed. Lucy clapped her hands gleefully.

"Let's get ready, then!"

* * *

The Oracion Seis, the Six Demons of Magnolia, were really a bunch of softies at heart. How else had all six managed to snag such sweet, pretty girls?

Well, those girls could also be considered demons themselves…

Cobra smiled at the thought of their six ladies. They were tough, strong, and took no nonsense from anyone. And they were best friends, a fact only he was aware of. But, if Lucy's plan went the way it was supposed to, that wouldn't be the case by the end of the night.

Midnight was leaning against the wall, snoring again. Jellal and Sting were trying to hold their own against the tag team of Rogue and Mard as the four sparred two on two, trying being the key word.

Cobra was plotting. He was always plotting. That's why he should never be trusted.

"Aw, c'mon!" Sting's exasperated shout managed to wake Midnight up, just as six phones dinged. Jellal lay on the ground, barely wanting to move. Sting sulked about while Cobra laughed that they had been beaten so easily. Rogue and Mard fist bumped, silently celebrating their victory over the others. The Seis checked their phones.

 _I'm here!_ Read all of them. Sting whooped. "Finally! We get to meet the rest of the girls!" Mard sighed and hit the back of the boy's head. "Calm down. This was Jellal's idea, so he should be the first to greet his lady." Jellal sat up, pleased. Mard could be a pompous pain in the butt sometimes, but he did have his good points. Jellal checked his appearance in the mirror leaning against the wall, smoothing down his hair, and hastily fixing the tie he had grabbed from nowhere. The other men quickly brushed themselves down as well. Well, not Mard. He was too much of a fashionista to ever get dirty or mussed, even when fighting.

The door opened and in walked six beautiful girls arm in arm. Three white heads, one pink, one blonde, and one scarlet. The Ladies of the Seis had arrived. Hearts filled the room, until they realized exactly how the girls had entered.

"Wait a second. You," Jellal pointed at all of them in turn. "Know each other?"

"Of course, we're best friends, all six of us." The boys groaned. "How did you not know that?" Erza asked, her cheeks flushing at the sight of her boyfriend. She adjusted her dress quickly. Lucy decided it was time to take precautionary measures.

Lucy stepped forward and grabbed Jellal's tie, yanking him down to her level. He choked as she got up in his face. Her angelic smile was firmly in place as she made _sure_ the head demon understood her.

"I'm warning you once and once only," she said in that sweet, good girl voice of her. The rest of the group watched her cautiously. There was no telling what Lucy would do. Cobra grinned at his girl. On the outside, she looked like a pretty princess, but she could be _ruthless_ when it came to protecting her family. "If you break Erza's heart, I will break your _everything_." With that, she patted his cheek and released the tie, letting Jellal catch his breath. He had been turning an alarming shade of blue, rather like his hair.

"Now, let's party!" They all cheered and began mingling, laughing and joking, the tense atmosphere forgotten instantly. It was as if the two groups had never been separate.

Lucy made her way over to Cobra and leaned against his side. He draped an arm around her shoulders.

"Told you this would work."

"Yeah, yeah, Blondie. Don't rub it in." Cobra kissed the top of her head.

"You owe me fifty dollars."

"Dang it. I thought you'd forget about that." The maroon haired man pouted then tugged her braid. Lucy slapped his hand away.

"I never forget a bet, love. Besides, all my ships are canon now. I can celebrate!"

"You're crazy."

"Not as crazy in love as Jellal and Erza are." Lucy looked fondly at the scarlet haired woman.

Erza deserved happiness. And she had found it in Jellal, a bad boy.

Forever they'd be, Jellal and Erza.

* * *

 **A/N:** Okay, it got a little weird at the end. That is what happens when I write late at night. 0_o And how does CoLu manage to take over all my stories? And Lucy and Cobra know _everything._ ;)

 _ **I will be hosting a MidKino week (Midnight/Yukino) from January 31 to February 6, 2016. Please join me in this new crack pairing love!**_

 **MidKino Week prompts**

 **Day one:** Can I keep you?

 **Day two:** Sugar High

 **Day three:** Roommates

 **Day four:** Late night shopping

 **Day five:** Makeup Fail

 **Day six:** Old Friends

 **Day seven:** Transport

 **Bonus:** Burnt

 ** _~~~Review replies~~~_**

 _Absolute-ZERO999-_ Glad you liked the angst. I was in an angsty mood last night so voila, angst! :)

 _snibs13-_ Aww, me too! Poor guy, people need to ask for happier stories so I don't have to pick on him anymore!

 _FairyTailErza12-_ Thank you! Haha, yeah, I think 3 out of 11 of my stories are GrayZa in TGC. Glad you liked them. :)

 _BridgeBurn100-_ I am mean, I know. See? This is why people need to ask for happier stories! I know you requested a happy GrayZa and that's in the works. Thank you!


	13. Scrubbing Bubbles

**A/N:** So, I don't think I explained myself too well about the republishing bit. I will be keeping the Great Collection open and I'll publish in it regularly and you can still submit requests. All the oneshots that make up the collection will be published separately so if there is a specific story or pairing you want to read, it'll be easier. Also, connected oneshots will be put into one story so you can binge read the whole thing. :) Make sense?

 **Prompt:** **snibs13** suggested this one. Thanks, dearie. :)

 **Pairing:** CoLu, mostly friendshippy, Lucy/Crime Sorcerie friendship, Cobra/Laxus/Gajeel friendship, Laxus/Lucy siblingship.

* * *

"Oi, Bright Eyes, can I borrow your shower?" The sound of the door banging open woke Lucy from her restless nap.

Lucy opened one eye to stare at the Dragon Slayer standing in front of her bed, looking expectantly at her. She closed her eye. This had to be some sort of a nightmare. Some crazed vision brought on by the pain medication Wendy had given her for her surgery. There was no other explanation for why she had a criminal in her apartment asking to use her shower. It was too surreal even for her life. Even though Dragon Slayer invasions were a regular occurrence in her life.

"It's former criminal, this isn't a nightmare, and I didn't know you had surgery." Cobra said, crouching down by her head. Her silky gold hair was splayed across her pillow as she wriggled, trying to reorient herself in a more comfortable position. One brown eye opened again before Lucy decided she was too tired to have this conversation. Cobra poked her arm very gently. "Bright Eyes! Why did you need surgery?"

The Poison Slayer would never admit it, but the blonde Celestial Mage was the only person in her guild that he tolerated. She was kind, having been the first to welcome Crime Sorcerie after they were pardoned. Meredy and Sorano had taken to her, Midnight liked being petted by her (seriously, Lucy would pet his head and Midnight would purr like a cat.), and the others enjoyed her calm company in a guild of asylum wannabes.

She could be quiet and gentle, but her angelic facade hid a ruthless, fiercely determined fighter, something he admired. And don't even get him started on her brain. The complexity left him baffled and intrigued. How did she even function with all the labyrinthine twists and turns that made up her thought processes? When it came to her soul, well, he could gladly sit and listen to its song all day. In all his years, Cobra had never heard a song so beautiful.

But now... She was in pain, that much he could tell. That and she was on pain medication, so her brain was going on some sort of drugged up trip into insanity. Why though?

"Why are you in my apartment?" Lucy opened both eyes this time and and pushed herself up a bit, wincing the whole way. Her eyes were a bit unfocused as she looked at him. She obviously didn't notice how close her face had gotten to his, and that if someone walked in on them right now, it'd look like she was about to kiss him. Cobra leaned back a bit. The last thing he needed was such an obvious temptation. Those full, pink lips…

 _Focus, focus!_

"Answer my question first, Bright Eyes."

"What question?"

"Why did you have surgery?" He looked her over, his pressing need to take a shower forgotten. Just how badly had she been hurt that she needed surgery? And where was her idiotic team? They'd normally be hovering like crazy right now.

She blinked slowly, comprehension dawning. Lucy slowly pushed herself up the rest of the way so she was sitting up against her headboard. The blanket slipped off to expose her crop top and bandaged side. Peeking out from under the bandages were dark purple bruises. She also gave him a lovely view of her milky white shoulders. Honestly, the girl was a _temptation_.

"My side got torn up a bit on our last mission, so Wendy had to stitch me back up. It was last week, so I'm fine now." She winced, a hand moving to brush the bandaged part of her abdomen. Cobra watched her silently. A bit torn up? It looked like her whole side had been shredded then put back together from her memories of the incident. Wendy had been able to fix the internal damage with her healing magic, but Lucy had still needed stitches and rest. "Okay, Snake Breath, answer my question. Why are you in my apartment?"

Cobra scowled. "Not my name, Bright Eyes."

"Do you really think Bright Eyes is my name?" She countered. They glared at each other. Cobra caved first. It was hard to fight with Lucy when she was so drugged up. Besides, in the eight months he had formally known the girl, he had discovered the awe-inspiring power of her enormous brown eyes. Natsu and Laxus were particularly susceptible to that attack. It was more deadly than her Lucy Kick.

"Fine," he said gruffly. "I asked if I could take a shower." One blonde eyebrow went up as she questioned his intentions. There were other places he could go, right? Cobra sighed dramatically and rolled his eye. "I came here because you're the only person who would let me." She continued to stare blankly. "And it's quiet here," Cobra added as an afterthought. Her other eyebrow went up. "The rest of Sorcerie is at the guild hall, no doubt flirting with their chosen targets and getting royally drunk."

Lucy sighed and waved a hand. "Whatever. I don't want to fight about this right now." She yawned, nestling back down into her blankets. Her soul became muzzy as she slipped off into drugged dreams. It was like a whole psychedelic universe opened up in her brain. Cobra stood up and watched her quietly.

 _I hope she feels better soon._

* * *

About three hours later, Lucy woke up. Instantly, she could tell she was feeling better. Her side still hurt, but her head was better and she felt more awake. _Boy, that medicine Wendy gave me sure did a number on me. Gahh... My mouth feels like a desert after Natsu hit it. Need water._

Slowly, Lucy pushed her blankets off and stood up. She swayed for a moment, disoriented. She righted herself and headed toward her kitchen, intent on getting that glass of water. She rubbed sleep from her eyes and stumbled her way to the kitchen.

Well, until she ran into the roadblock known as shoes laying in the middle of the floor that send you flying and landing in a pair of strong arms that appeared from nowhere. A pained yelp burst from her lips as said strong arms pressed against her bandaged side.

 _Holy Mavis, that_ ** _hurt_** _!_

"Crap, Lucy, sorry. I didn't mean to grab your side." Lucy's whimper made Cobra frown and shift her up into his arms, princess style. "Bed or couch?"

"Couch please, I've spent too much time in bed." Cobra nodded, carrying her easily over to the frilly pink monstrosity. Before he could set her down, her thready whisper of "Stay," caught his ear. He sighed and sat down with Lucy nestled into his arms. He was going to chalk this one up to insanity brought upon by drugs.

Lucy sniffed him. She frowned and sniffed again. "I thought you said you showered. That was the whole reason you came here."

"I did." He said calmly.

"Then why do you smell like cleaning supplies?"

Cobra gave her a weird look. "I used your soap."

Lucy gave him a weird look back. "My soap smells like strawberries, not cleaning supplies."

Cobra frowned and tapped her lightly on the nose. Lucy batted his hand away. "I used the thing on the wall that sprayed foam."

Lucy frowned, not understanding him. "What foamy spray thing?"

"The one on the wall."

Lucy's jaw dropped. Alarm burst from her in an almost physical wave. "Cobra! That was the shower cleaner! It's poisonous, you idiot! It specifically says on the side, **not a body wash**. Didn't you _see_ that?" _The idiot! Does his lack of an eye render him incapable of reading signs?_

He grinned rakishly down at her. She squirmed, trying to get out of his arms. Cobra tighten his grip, being mindful of her side. "Nah, it won't hurt me. Poison Dragon Slayer, remember, love?" As soon as that last word left his mouth, he blanched. He hadn't meant to say that! It just leapt out somehow! What would Lucy say?

He shouldn't have worried. In her still slightly drugged haze, she hadn't heard. Lucy sighed, leaning into his shoulder. "Whatever. You didn't die in my house, so Jellal can't get mad at me."

"...I think there's something wrong with your logic, Bright Eyes."

A slight shrug was his only answer. Well, that and another sniff. "Ugh, if you're going to stay any longer, go shower properly. Unhhh..." Lucy pulled away, wrinkling her nose up.

"I am not going to smell like a pansy. Real men don't smell like strawberries."

Lucy stared at him. "You do know you sounded just like Elfman right there," she said slowly.

He scowled. Stupid Fairies, the more time he spent around them, the more of their psychotic mannerisms he picked up. Lucy slipped off his lap onto the couch next to him. She crossed her arms over her chest. "Go shower or I'll tell Meredy and Mira that you spent the whole day with me."

If there was anything Cobra feared more than Midnight's illusions, Jellal, and cheese, it was the interest of the pink and white demon matchmakers. So he obeyed his hostess and showered again. Lucy was nice about it and have him a different body wash, cinnamon, so he didn't have to smell...fruity.

When the two showed up at the guild that afternoon, (Lucy had leaned on him the whole way and it was lovely), Lucy headed upstairs so Wendy could check her side. Thankful no one questioned why they had come in together (it may have had to do with Mira and Meredy not being in the guild for once), he headed over to his usual table.

"You smell weird", Gajeel informed the maroon haired Slayer as he sank down at the Slayer table with a deep, put upon sigh. His single eye focused on the Iron Slayer crossly.

"It's the result of losing an argument with a drugged blonde. Never attempt to change their minds or use their showers." Gajeel stared at Cobra, confusion in his eyes. Laxus, having caught his reference, chuckled into his mug. He knew Cobra's pain. Last week, he had attempted to argue with his little sister about why she wasn't allowed to sleep in the library while she recovered, and he had barely escaped that encounter alive.

Cobra glowered down at the tabletop. _Note to self, don't ever go back to Lucy's to take a shower. She's evil._

And how was he supposed to know the foamy thing was poison?! Women were impossible to understand…

Lucy Heartfilia especially...

* * *

 **A/N:** Because Cobra would do something stupid like that!

 _ **~~~Review replies~~~**_

 _Absolute-ZERO999-_ Yeah, the story kind of went in a completely different direction than I was planning! Glad you liked it, though! :)

 _snibs13-_ Yay! Glad you liked the idea of republishing. Yes, all the CoLu, all the time. I do need to take a bit of a break and write for a few different pairings, however... And, yes, I needed a fluffy story, a break from the angst! :)

 _shvartzit-_ SORRYSONOTSORRY! You have now been pulled over to the CoLu dark side. We have cookies and t-shirts. And if you want to read more CoLu, go check out **Eien ni Touko** and **Dragon's Host** for a start. They were the start of my addiction... :) I also have a few other CoLu stories in my archives. :) I'm a multi-shipper. It happens sometimes, the straying. Don't worry. It'll be okay. ;)

 _. .Fanfiction-_ Aw, I'm glad you liked it! Yes, I'm crazy pairing lady, with my overwhelming love of crack pairings! Also, you are the 60th reviewer, so you get a free oneshot of your choice! :D

 _Eien ni Touko-_ Ahh, your reviews always make me grin. First two reviews: I'm glad you liked the angst and the fluff! :) And for last chapter, yes. Cobra knows all. He's also the boyfriend all the other girls complain to and then he takes care of the issue. ;) When in trouble, look to him. :) And yes, the MiraMard! AHHH... It is one of my new favorites! At first I was going to do Miraxus, but then went, nahh, we're talking _bad_ boys. And who's badder than an actual demon?

 _X (guest)_ -Getting closer... Hmm, I may have to make it my goal to make you cry at least once! ;) No, you aren't asking for too many, I was just pointing out that I had another story for you! I clarified the whole separating thing at the top. :) And thank you! That encouragement means a lot to me! Thanks for your sweet words!


	14. Achoo!

**A/N:** Finally! I'm finally getting around to updating the collection. I'm also finally getting my writing mojo back.

Also. **Eien** , **Dragon**. This story's existence is ENTIRELY on the two of you. Y'all need to stop giving me crack pairings. STAHP. And a dorky Mard Geer was too funny for me to resist.

I'm closing request submissions for awhile, since I have a serious backlog that I need to work through. _So unless you are the 100th reviewer, oneshot requests are closed as of now._

 **Pairing:** Mard Geer/Lucy

 **Prompt:** It's snowing where I live, which is the only reason I'm writing this story. Snow in September sucks.

* * *

Silver was leaning against the wall, snickering and watching the normally unflappable Underworld King proceed to lose his everloving mind. There was only one reason Mard Geer would have a 'freak out', as his son called it.

That reason was none other than Fairy Tail's Celestial spirit Mage and Mard's girlfriend, Lucy Heartfilia.

Mard had found out that Lucy had fallen ill from a particularly nasty cold, due to not having warm winter clothes and taking a dunking in the freezing water of the canal. Silver had managed to talk him down from bolting out and murdering Lucy's partner, since, as boneheaded as the Fire Dragon was, he was still Lucy's best friend. She wouldn't take too kindly to his 'accidental' death. Even though it was Natsu's fault Lucy managed to fall into said canal.

Now Mard was pacing and fuming. Wendy refused to let anyone near Lucy, in case her cold turned into something worse. It was times like these that reminded Mard the difference between demons and humans. He would not get sick, but his sweetheart could and did on a regular basis. Lamy had told him rather haughtily that 'people do not die of little trifling colds' and that he should calm down and leave her alone.

It didn't help.

Now the King was pacing, wracking his brain to think of a way to cheer Lucy up and help her feel better at the same time. On his thirty-eighth revolution around the throne room, he came to an abrupt halt. His black eyes focused on Silver, a familiar gleam in his eye. Silver sighed. The last time Mard had looked like that, he had managed to convince Jackal that it was a good idea to switch chemicals around in Lamy's lab, simply to see the chaos it caused.

The blonde bomber had barely escaped with his life.

"Silver," Mard said slowly, rubbing his hands together. "What did your son say his girlfriend's name was?"

* * *

Mard held out the small package to a bemused Lucy. The girl was bundled up in bed, blankets covering almost every inch of her body. Three weeks later, she was finally getting over her cold that had turned into a nasty lung infection. Wendy had lifted the quarantine and begrudgingly allowed Mard to see her. In regards to her patients, Wendy was growing more and more like the Dragon Granny everyday.

Lucy took the proffered gift, looked at the plain brown wrapping, and raised an eyebrow. "This isn't going to blow up in my face, is it?" A valid point, after a birthday present from Jackal had turned out to be a glitter bomb. She had sparkled for _weeks_ afterword.

Mard scowled. He too remembered Jackal's gift. "I wrapped it myself. Jackal wasn't allowed _anywhere_ near it. Now would you please open it?"

Hiding a smile, the Celestial Mage obliged and opened the gift from her slightly fidgeting boyfriend. Mard was funny about things like gifts. He hadn't understood the whole meaning behind giving gifts, like for birthdays, Christmas, or just for no reason. She had explained that presents were a way of showing affection and that you knew your significant other well enough to know what they liked. Mard had mused on the subject.

And when he mused, plans usually emerged.

Thankfully, he was over the whole ' _let's destroy human civilization and the rest of the world because it looks like fun_ ' stage. Over the next three months, random gifts would appear in her apartment; a pair of star shaped earrings, an incredibly rare book on celestial spirits, and Lucy's personal favorite, a framed image of the two of them drawn by Reedus. The Underworld King had a rare, genuine smile on his face as he watched his laughing blonde sweetheart. Now, there was no telling what he was giving her. But whatever it was, it no doubt would be personal and sweet.

Who would have guessed the fearsome Mard Geer would ever be called 'sweet'?

A smile spread over her face as she looked down at the muted pink hat, cowl, and fingerless gloves nestled in the paper. "Oh Mard, they're lovely! Thank you so much!" Lucy picked up the cowl and rubbed it against her cheek. "Ooo, so soft!" Mard lifted one of her hands and pressed a soft kiss to the palm.

"I'm glad you approve, my dear. I managed to fight and defeat the lesser demon that your friend Juvia called a 'crochet hook'. Her patience is truly astounding as is her determination to win the war against the foul creatures. She also mentioned that this shade of pink would suit you well."

Lucy's eyebrows had been sneaking up her forehead as she listened incredulously to Mard. She looked back at the soft, pink wooly item she held. Now that she looked closely, she could tell it was handmade. The fabric wasn't quite even, there were bits that were much wider, and there was a stain that looked suspiciously like blood. "Mard, did you crochet this for me?"

The King's eyes widened. "Do you not like it?" He asked slowly, the slightest hint of apprehension in his voice. Lucy smiled and brushed a hand against his cheek. "I love it," she said firmly. "The color is beautiful and it will keep me warm for the rest of the winter. And you _made_ it for me, instead of buying them, so it makes it even more special."

Mard huffed, looking a little more like his smug self. "I'm glad you approve, my dear. Your friend said that you had been planning on making yourself a set similar in style so I thought you would appreciate a gift like this." He frowned, rubbing one of his hands absently. "However, I do not believe I will continue with that crafting endeavor. Those lesser demons were quite vicious and did not wish to obey my commands. Perhaps I should leave the wielding of such deadly objects to you and your friend." Lucy giggled, still petting her cowl with a soft smile. "So long as you aren't planning on declaring war on all crochet hooks, knitting needles, and wool, I think not continuing is just fine."

Mard flicked his eyes to the side, a look of guilt spreading across his face. Lucy frowned, crossing her arms over her chest. "Mard..."

"Fine, fine!" The King threw up his hands, admitting defeat before the blonde. "I'll tell Silver to call off the attack plan," he grumbled.

Lucy groaned, before giggling. "You're hopeless," she said and tugged her sweetheart down for a kiss. "And thank you for the gift."

* * *

 **A/N:** I managed to sneak in a Pride and Prejudice quote. I'm so proud of myself. And knitting and crochet. With all the fiber arts I've been doing the past few days, how could I not include them?! And Mard is such a dork.

 _snibs13-_ I'm so glad you liked it! :D With almost all of your suggestions, my brain hops on the crazy train and rides it to the end of the line! :D

 _Eien ni Touko-_ It would happen! He's like, why are you freaking out? It's poison, I'm the Poison Dragon Slayer, not gonna bother me! And even half drugged, Lucy can still boss him around! :)

Taich-Honey, I'm just going to say a big thank you for all your reviews and ideas! :)

 _Angel Dimond-_ I think that would be a funny story. XD I'll try and get it knocked out eventually! :)


	15. Birthday Suiting It

**A/N:** WAAAAAAHHHHH! 80 REVIEWS FOR JUST 14 STORIES?! I LOVE Y'ALL SO MUCH RIGHT NOW! :D :D

Ahem. Sorry, I'm just a little excited. :)

Annnnnnway... I checked the pairing poll to see the results so far and at the moment, LaLu is in the lead, with NaLu, CoLu, RoLu, and StiCy not far behind. However, there are seven votes for other pairings not listed. If you clicked that, would you mind telling me which pairings they were so I have an idea? Thanks, lovies! :)

 _Requests are still closed unless you are the 100th reviewer. But since this is the 15th story (YAYAY!), it's Ask the Empress a Question Day! Have a question for me? Something you'd like to know? Ask away, just nothing to embarrassing or personal, please! :)_

 **Pairing:** Lucy/Cana best friendship

 **Prompt:** the ending of the Buzzfeed Violet video Things Girls Do When They're Alone. (Go watch it, it's hilarious!)

* * *

When you're roommates with someone for four years running, and going on fifteen years of friendship, you see every side of them.

The good, the bad, the ugly sobbing.

The family drama, the boy drama, the 'let's plan a super awesome prank that will guarantee Gildarts' knickers will get in a twist', the 'oh, someone kill me now before this hangover does even though it's my fifteenth this week'...

Wait, that last one may only apply if you're Cana Alberona Clive's roommate.

Which she was.

That's right, Lucy's roommate was the quote unquote "drunkess" of Vermillion University. The two had been friends for so long, Cana's drinking had finally ceased to bother Lucy.

Lucy and Cana had been best friends since 3rd grade when Cana had kicked Hibiki Lates between the legs for trying to kiss Lucy. Lucy followed Cana everywhere for three years with a serious case of hero worship for the slightly older girl. Despite Cana's dad being a cop and Lucy's father being an important businessman, the two managed to get up to all sorts of high jinks between elementary school and college.

High school had been interesting to say the least, between pining over upperclassmen, running a relationship betting pool, and being labeled as their graduating class's troublemakers. Lucy had punched Bacchus in the face for breaking Cana's heart in 10th grade (which made her even more famous in Fiore High). Cana protected her 'little sister' from the over enthusiastic advances of Loke and Hibiki, who still hadn't learned his lesson.

So they grew up, got a little wiser (relatively speaking), and went off to college, firm in their friendship.

By way of some _serious_ string pulling, Lucy was able to get the two of them in the same dorm room for all four years of college. She cited the fact she had been dealing with a drunk and/or hungover Cana for over ten years; she was clearly the best person for the job. Cana showed her appreciation by cutting back on the sheer insanity of some of the pranks she pulled.

Still, the Wild Girls of Magnolia threw themselves wholeheartedly into the rather odd culture of Vermillion U. They quickly became notorious on campus for knowing all the gossip plus running the various betting pools. Even Mirajane went to them when she wanted to know how her ships were interacting. Their antics became legendary, seeing as the first week of school, Lucy had to talk Cana down from the English building roof after Lucy had child-locked the booze.

Cana never let Roy Mustang, 3rd year Chem major, forget that you don't break the heart of her best friend. And you _especially_ don't use said best friend as a rebound girl to get over your blonde ex. He transferred schools a week later. Yes, the Magnolia girls are just that scary!

Then there was the time an inebriated Cana had persuaded Lucy to join her dancing the the rain, both girls wearing nothing but their lacy underwear and high heels.

Though Lucy still hadn't forgiven her for the Celery Incident. She didn't think Cana would _ever_ be forgiven for that escapade…

Come to think of it, most of their misadventures occurred when alcohol got involved… But honestly, things that Cana did had long since ceased to faze Lucy. If anything, it helped her deal better with some of Natsu's more exasperating antics.

Lucy was justified in thinking she had seen just about everything.

Walking out of her room to find Cana lazing on the couch wearing nothing but her birthday suit was a new one.

Lucy dropped her popcorn and gaped. Cana could not possibly be more nonchalant. She was lounging with her feet propped up on the coffee table, a remote in one hand and a glass of wine in the other. Some vapid soap opera was playing on the TV but Cana didn't seem to be paying attention to that.

She was also as naked as a jaybird.

"What are you doing?" Lucy demanded, eyebrows skyrocketing.

Cana turned to give her friend a Cheshire cat grin. "Living my best life," she said simply. Lucy blinked a few times, then shrugged. This was not the weirdest thing Cana had ever done with Lucy around. "Whatever." She leaned against the back of the couch, staring at the TV.

"Hey, wanna watch some stupid romcom anime?" Cana asked, absently grabbing the bag of popcorn Lucy had picked back up.

"Why not?" Lucy backed up and leapt over the couch, landing on the cushion next to her birthday suited friend. Cana raised her hand for a high five and Lucy obliged.

"Aren't you cold?"

"Why do you think I'm wearing socks, Brown Eyes?" Cana lifted a foot and wiggled her toes.

Lucy shrugged and snatched her popcorn back. "Fair point. At least you aren't naked on the roof again."

"That was _one_ time, Brown Eyes." Cana rolled her own eyes. " _One time._ "

"You still did it. And…"

"Don't you dare bring up the Celery Incident. I said sorry a thousand times, okay?"

Lucy threw her hands up, somehow not dumping her popcorn everywhere. "Fine, fine! Just be grateful Gildarts never heard the whole story." Cana shot Lucy a terrified glance as if to say, 'oh, Mavis, don't even suggest such a thing'. "Now, we were watching a stupid romcom anime or not?"

* * *

 **A/N:** Mehh, not the best ending. But I love Cana and Lucy's friendship and seriously think the two could get up to some wild stuff if they put their minds to it. XD

 _ **~~~Review Replies~~~**_

 _apriiil-_ Yep, there's so much more! The madness has only begun! I'm actually in the middle of writing the next chapter. :) Glad you liked it! Blame Dragon's Host and Eien ni Touko for this sudden descent into madness... ;)

 _Crushing Chaos-_ Glad you loved the CoLu! There will be so much more in the future, it's not even funny. ;)

 _shvarzit-_ I just had an overwhelming need to write a silly story involving crochet. ;) Thus this was born! Besides, it's helped me get my writing mojo back, which is the important thing! AAHHHH! That's so cool! I'm jealous! :)

 _snibs13_ -Yes, I'm back! :) Oh, Mard. I loved writing for him. :) Go check Dragon and Eien for Mard/Lucy. They got me hooked. *shakes head* those two are going to be the death of me, I swear. Heehee, I had fun with that! :D

 _Lily (guest)_ -Glad you liked it! And yes, I couldn't resist having Juvia teach Mard. It was too good to pass up. :)

 _Guest (That Random Fandom Chick)-_ Haha, you're the second person to ask for more prank war! Don't worry, more should be coming up soon. :)

 _Taich-_ *hugs* I'm telling you, knitting needles and crochet hooks can act like they're possessed sometimes. (ask me how I know.) He would. He would eradicate them off the face of the Earth if Lucy would let him!


	16. The real reason Carla joined Fairy Tail

**A/N: *coughing*** Okay, I swear I didn't mean to take so long to update. Don't throw anything at me please! I have a bunch of half written oneshots for the collection (plus all the requests to work on) but I just have not sat down at my computer for _days_. This is really just teasing you, I know, but I promise (hopefully) that the next chapter will be a Prank Wars chapter. It's on the slot and I've got it half written.

So here, have a short cracky drabble. (Honestly, the review replies are longer than the actual story...)

 **Prompt:** This drabble is PURE CRACK. I make no apologies. Inspired by the bit in the second OVA where Carla turns into Laxus. It is pure gold and I could not pass it up.

* * *

Carla's eyes flicked around the guild hall. Her still slightly traumatized charge was sitting with the less crazy members of their new guild. The blue haired Dragon Slayer was having a hard time recovering from her third or fourth abandonment in her short life. Despite Carla's own goals, Wendy was still incredibly important to her.

Fairy Tail was lovely and all, there was just something missing from it, some vital element that needed to be added into the mix.

A chair and three bodies flew past Carla's head.

Oh yeah, she figured it out.

 _Self-control. That's what the guild needed._

Brown eyes swept over her new guildmates again, this time more…critically. _If_ ** _you_** _were the Guild Master_ , a little voice whispered in her head, _you could whip them all into shape in no time_.

That…was a surprisingly attractive idea. Take over Fairy Tail and become the new Guild Master? Could she do it? Of course she could. Carla could do anything she put her mind to. It would just take time. Time, insidiousness, and careful planning if she was to succeed in her takeover attempt.

It was interesting how quickly the idea took root in her mind and dominated her thoughts.

The first one that would need taking down would be the Celestial Mage. The girl seemed innocent and sweet but Carla could see Lucy had the same assessing look in her eyes that Carla did. Lucy was relaxed around her family, but her brown eyes were always on the prowl for weak points, positions and situations she could exploit or at least manipulate to her own advantage. She was a natural leader, with brains and charisma. She could control _Natsu_ , for heavens' sake! _That_ took a considerable amount of power right there. Now, if Carla could bring Lucy over to her side, well, then, Team Natsu would be bound to follow! Carla, despite only being part of the guild for a few days, could see the considerable influence the bubbly blonde had on not only her team, but the entire guild as well.

Once Lucy was on Carla's side and Team Natsu followed, Carla would have to focus her efforts on the others. Juvia would leap to her side if it meant she could be near her beloved Gray. If Levy was talked over by Lucy, Gajeel, Jet, and Droy would follow. Cana could be bribed with beer, a simple enough plan despite being extremely vulgar.

What about Mirajane and Elfman? They would take some persuading, so would Master. Well, Master would have to step down or aside for Carla. Again, a place where Lucy's considerable influence could come in handy…

Carla smiled, setting down her cup of tea. Oh yes, it was only a matter of time before Fairy Tail would be hers…

All hers…

* * *

 **Omake:**

Wendy wasn't sure she liked the frankly rather creepy smile her feline companion was now sporting. "Do you think she's okay?" The little girl whispered to Lucy. Lucy shot a glance at the white cat. The look in her face was one Lucy was intimately familiar with.

She saw it every time she looked in the mirror, after all.

"Oh yeah, she's fine." Lucy reassured the Sky Dragon. "She just seems lost in thought, that's all." Wendy sighed in relief and turned back to her conversation with Levy.

 _Just plotting world domination, no doubt_ , Lucy corrected herself, brown eyes narrowing deviously. Her own lips curled upward in a tiny smirk as one hand brushed over her gate keys. She wanted power just as much as the next mage, if not so much more; she was just more… _subtle_ about her desires.

Perhaps the white cat could become an ally in Lucy's own quest…

It was worth a shot.

* * *

 **A/N:** Carla and Lucy, coconspirators in World Domination. It could happen, y'all.

 _ **I will be hosting a MidKino week (Midnight/Yukino) from January 31 to February 6, 2016. Please join me in this new crack pairing love!**_

 **MidKino Week prompts**

 **Day one:** Can I keep you?

 **Day two:** Sugar High

 **Day three:** Roommates

 **Day four:** Late night shopping

 **Day five:** Makeup Fail

 **Day six:** Old Friends

 **Day seven:** Transport

 **Bonus:** Burnt

 _ **~~~Review replies~~~**_

 _Angel Dimond-_ Oh I'm sure I'll be writing up some more of their antics! Who knows, I may even write up the Celery Incident if enough people are interested!

 _shvarzit-_ I adore their friendship so much and I really don't think it gets enough attention in the fandom.

 _Absolute-ZERO999_ -I had to include Roy. It was calling to me. And I could not refuse. I'm glad you liked this chapter! :)

 _snibs13-_ They can get up to so much trouble, they rival Natsu and Gray. XD Oh don't worry, the Celery Incident will come up sometime. ;) It's pretty bad, though... ;)

 _Taich-_ I've been knitting for nine years, and I'm convinced the needles have some sort of conspiracy going when I'm in a rush that they force the stitches to jump off the needle and die a horrible death that makes me curse. And yanking out the wrong needle and having to pick all the stitches back up. Needles are evil. Oh, you'll find out eventually! ;)

 _iheartpickles-_ Glad you like it!

 _The Turtle Beta_ -Hehe, me too. ;)

 _Guest (That Random Fandom Chick)-_ I'm your Senpai? *blushes* Thank you! :)

 _sxtrisoul- (You changed your name! Now I'm all thrown off!)_ You made me write it. This one is all on you! So I'm glad you liked it! ;) And Mard is such a freaking dork it's too much. Aw, thanks! I love their friendship so much. :)

 _GoldenPiggy-_ So glad you liked the friendship chapter! :D Oh, there will be all the CoLu in the world. Don't you worry about that! Someday, the Celery Incident will come out. It is a closely kept secret in Fairy Tail... Ah, question time! :D CoLu all the way. I love them so much. Hmmm... Dogs, I think... "I LOVE dogs!" ~Roy Mustang Purple. I love purple with a fierce and unrelenting passion. None at the moment, since I haven't watched any recently! :) Let's see, Shipping-Senpai-Mirajane is shipping GaLe rather fiercely, with CoLu a close second. Fem!Freed and Bixlow is her newest one, however. ;)Thanks for the questions and for reviewing!

 _Aurora (guest)-_ So glad you liked the stories! :) lol, everyone is asking for more prank wars. It is on the slot for the next chapter! :D

 _freakFangirl13-*covers head and blushes scarlet*_ You really think so? Aw, you're too sweet! If you liked the CoLu in the Collection, go check out my other CoLu stories! :) (And Eien and Dragon are heads of the Cult. I have joined and there IS NO GOING BACK.)

 _Guest-_ Here's an update! :D


	17. A Declaration of War

_Oh heck yeah._ Here it is, y'all, the formal declaration of war. It. Is. _On._

 _100th reviewer gets a free oneshot of their choice and an enormous hug from the Empress!_

* * *

It was a bloodcurdling, ear-piercing shriek of pure feminine rage that made all of Fairy Tail and their friends from Sabertooth jump out of their skins. The scream was almost instantly identifiable as belonging to one Lucy Heartfilia.

Some of the members, the ones who had been on the receiving end of Lucy's fearsome rage regularly (read: Natsu and Gray) decided it'd be best if they ducked down and hid for a bit, just in case they had done something to set Lucy off unknowingly.

The two guilds had already dealt with three brawls involving half the guild, various boasting contests that threatened to turn into yet another brawl, and an unnecessary musical performance. Gajeel and Orga thought it was a brilliant idea that they should sing a duet. Laxus had zapped Gajeel while Juvia sent a Water Slicer at Orga.

Everyone else was grateful, because honestly, the two sounded like someone was drowning a bag full of pissed off, helium-drunk kittens while beating a metal roof to death with a squeaky toy.

 _Now_ what was going on?

"STING EUCLIFFE, YOU BLOODY JERK! I'M GOING TO RIP YOUR LIMBS FROM YOUR BODY SLOWLY WITH A PAIR OF RUSTY PLIERS AND A GALUNA ISLAND DEMON'S ARM, BOIL THEM IN SOME OF ERIK'S POISON UNTIL THERE IS ALMOST NOTHING LEFT, SHOVE THE REMAINS DOWN YOUR THROAT, AND FEED THE BONES TO HAPPY FOR DINNER, _SO HELP ME MAVIS! IF I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, YOU BETTER START WRITING YOUR WILL!_ "

Something had happened to set off their normally happy Celestial Mage. Rogue, Yukino, and Levy, who had all been bonding over books, turned unamused stares on the cackling master of Sabertooth. They hadn't really thought much of it when Sting had come bolting in not even a handful of seconds ago, diving over a table and hiding just before the guild doors flew open with a resounding crash.

They should have known he was up to something rotten.

Lucy stalked in like a dragon in search of prey. Maybe they _shouldn't_ have let the dragon slayers adopt her; their traits seemed to be negatively affecting her.

Her rage was a little less believable when she looked somewhat akin to a drowned river rat. Her blonde hair was plastered to her face. Her shoes squelched as she dripped her way across the floor leaving puddles in her wake. And she just _had_ to be wearing a white shirt that day. Lucy's hot pink bra was on full display for the entire world to see but she was too angry to even care.

" _Eucliffe…_ "

Sting grinned as he stood up, casually stretching as if Lucy's rage wasn't able to fluster him in the slightest. "What's wrong, Heartfilia? Can't take a joke? It was just a bucket of water, not something to get all wound up about!"

"I happened to like this shirt, jerk!" Lucy shrieked as she stomped forward, intent on ripping his eyeballs out and shoving them down his throat. "It is _on_ ," Lucy snarled, her hands curling into claws as Mira managed to hold her back from throttling Sting. But only just.

Sting's sharp fanged grin threatened to send her over the edge however. "Sure thing, Blondie, but are you sure you want to get tangled up in a prank war with me, the Great Sting Eucliffe?"

"Yes," her snarl was deeper and more feral this time. "Simply so I have can the pleasure of gloating over you."

Yep, she was going draconic. Time for an intervention. Laxus easily grabbed his soaked sister from Mira's arms, physically restraining her from spilling Sting's blood all over the floor, and shot Sting an annoyed look.

"Let me go Laxus! I'm only going to kill him a little bit! Just a little! Not very much! He doesn't really need his ears, does he?" Laxus sighed and tucked his bucking and squalling sister under his arm. "I'm going to take her home," he said calmly, ignoring Lucy's increasingly creative threats against Sting and Laxus. "And Lucy, that's not physically possible. Eucliffe, I'd be careful if I were you." A dangerous twinkle lit Laxus's eyes. "Lucy isn't known for being merciful. Especially to people who piss her off."

"Hang on, big guy, everyone knows a war can't start without a formal declaration, so if you could put your sister down…?"

Laxus sighed, wondering how in Earthland this blond idiot had managed to become the master of a guild, and set Lucy down carefully on her feet. Sting smirked. Oh yeah, he was going to show her who the King of Pranking was!

"I, the Great Sting Eucliffe, challenge you, Lucy Heartfilia, to a prank war! If you're sure you wish to accept the challenge, the loser will be whoever gives in first!"

Still dripping, Lucy surprised him by giving him a fanged grin reminiscent of a dragon. "Oh, I'm more than ready to face you, Eucliffe. The real question is are you sure you aren't getting in over your head?"

"No way! It's on, Heartfilia!"

Both mages shook hands, wicked grins on both sides.

Sting put his hands behind his head as the Sabers walked home. He was fully confident in his ability to win a prank war against the blonde Celestial mage. She was just a little girl. What would she know about pranks? He voiced his thoughts aloud to Rogue. Who gave him a questioning look.

"Really? That's the assumption you're going with? Miss Lucy has older brothers. Dragon slayer older brothers," he stressed. "Plus she is a high class lady. From what I've heard, they would pull pranks but had to be super stealthy about it. She no doubt has more experience and a better head on her shoulders than you do."

"Way to have faith in me, Rogue," Sting muttered.

"I know you can win, Sting! You're the best! That Fairy girl doesn't stand a chance against you!" Lector cheered. Frosch cheered too. "Fro thinks so too!"

"To be honest," Yukino said slowly. "I think Lucy-sama has a better chance at winning than you do, Sting. She just seems more capable."

"Fro thinks so too!"

Sting threw his hands up. "Does no one here believe I can win against Blondie?"

Silence from his guildmates was his only answer. "Geez, guys, thanks for the vote of confidence." Sting sighed, rubbing his forehead. "C'mon, let's get home. I have a prank war to win!"

* * *

 **A/N:** And so it begins! What will Sting's first prank be? How will Lucy retaliate? And who will win? If y'all have any prank suggestions, please feel free to share them in the reviews or a PM!

 _ **I will be hosting a MidKino week (Midnight/Yukino) from January 31 to February 6, 2016. Please join me in this new crack pairing love!**_

 **MidKino Week prompts**

 **Day one:** Can I keep you?

 **Day two:** Sugar High

 **Day three:** Roommates

 **Day four:** Late night shopping

 **Day five:** Makeup Fail

 **Day six:** Old Friends

 **Day seven:** Transport

 **Bonus:** Burnt

If you're planning on participating, please tell me so I can check out your stories! :D

 _ **~~~Review replies~~~**_

 _snibs13-_ Oh yeah, can you see the two of them in charge? They'd be the queens of the world tomorrow if they put their minds to it! And yes, everything would go wrong at first but it'd work out. They have a secret weapon...

 _iheartpickles-_ Yep! They'd do it together!

 _Fairy tail (guest)-_ Thanks for reviewing despite English not being your preferred language! I've never tried ElfEver, but that'd be fun to do! I love the Strauss siblings, so I may do a story with them with ElfEver featured! Merci pour l'examen!

 _ChaosHateAnnihilation (guest)_ \- She would! And Lucy would help her!


	18. here's to never growing up

A/N: Look, Happy!RoLu!

Wait, that's a thing? Huh, who knew?

For Fareetauhl for being the 100th reviewer of The Great Collection!

 **Prompt** : Here's To Never Growing Up and Live While We're Young.

 **Pairing** : Rogue/Lucy

* * *

Being run down by a golden haired goddess on a bicycle is one interesting way to start a summer.

The summer of his lifetime.

Rogue is a quiet person. Partying, drinking, and the wildness of his peers isn't his scene. He'd prefer a quiet corner to read his book while his twin brother throws himself head-on into the party scene. He is quiet, boring, a bookworm, a stick in the mud, spiritless, dull as dishwater, and perfectly content to stay that way.

Funny how Fate had a different plan for him.

More like enjoys throwing monkey wrenches in his carefully laid out summer plans, to be completely honest.

It starts in the golden light of a summer afternoon, the day after school is released for the year. A nose jammed firmly in a book, dark clothes even though the heat is blistering, putting one foot in front of the other, all in all a normal afternoon for Rogue.

When she comes from nowhere on an out-of control bike, he doesn't have a chance to move. She shrieks, from fear, surprise, or the adrenaline rush she seems to get from dangerous situations, he never finds out. They fall to the pavement in a tangle of metal, paper, and limbs. Opening his eyes, a pair of concerned brown eyes meet his. She is straddling him, her lips moving, asking if he was okay. He doesn't reply. He can't with the vision of beauty dominating his sight.

The sunlight casts a halo around her, turning her skin gold. Dust motes swirl around her head, catching and reflecting the light back onto her. Her blue top has slid off one shoulder exposing her bikini strap to the world. Of what he can see of her lower half, short denim shorts cover very little of her mile long thighs. Her knees are bent, so he can't see her feet but has to guess she is probably wearing flipflops.

She is a goddess. That is the only explanation he can come up with.

A persistent poking of his cheek draws his attention back to the girl.

She climbs off of him, offering him a hand up with a sweet smile. He accepts it still in a daze. Moving away from him, the girl rights her bike and stands silently next to him.

Her gold head turns at a shout from further up the street. Three teens stand there, beckoning and waving for his golden girl to come on. She glances at him, her lips pursed in thought, then beaming, grabs his hand and a marker from nowhere. She scribbles something on his hand. With another smile, she blows him a kiss and runs off to join her friends.

He stands in the middle of the street in their sleepy little town.

She turns back once. To wave and laugh at his stunned expression.

He looks down at his sharpie covered hand.

In neat handwriting it says: **Lucy: 923-5687 ;)**

* * *

He dubs her Miss Live While We're Young. That seems to be her motto. She throws herself headlong into adventures, determined to squeeze as much out of her days as she could.

Everywhere he goes in town, he sees her.

Walking down the street arm in arm with a bluenette or a redhead, she glows.

Dancing in the park with a group of little girls, she sparkles.

Riding piggyback on a pinkette's back, crowing and waving a sword triumphantly, she burns with an unquenchable fire, the same fire he had seen in her eyes the day she ran him over.

He doesn't dare try calling or texting her. That's too far outside his comfort zone.

Has he memorized her phone number and put it in his phone, saving her name under the heading Miss Live While We're Young?

Yes. Yes he has.

The catalyst of the whole I'm-somehow-pining-over-this-girl-I've-sort-of-met-once-and-she's-really-pretty-but-I'm-kind-of-intimidated-by-her-because-I-don't-know-her-and-why-would-she-be-interested-in-me? comes two weeks later when his brother steals his phone. After thirty minutes of screaming and desperate attempts to get said phone back, Sting is triumphant and cackling over his brother.

When Sting tosses his phone back to him after only a few minutes, he is understandably suspicious.

Then he gets a text.

 _Hi, Rogue! I'm so glad you decided to text me!_

Oh, no he didn't. _He didn't._

Sting is a dead man.

For a moment, he wonders why he hasn't _freaking **murdered** his idiotic twin brother for breathing the same air as him by now because honestly, he just might after this act of unforgivable stupidity._

Oh well, there's no getting around it. Time to face the music like a man.

 **I'm sorry for the mixup. I didn't actually text you. My brother stole my phone and no doubt tried to cause mischief since that is his trademark.**

 _Oh, that's too bad!_

 _Though to be honest, I was trying to think of an excuse to run you over again so I could get your number and text you._

 _Running you over would be a last resort of course._

 _I'd prefer talking to you in person._

 _That'd be better._

 _Running you over was an accident, I hope you know that. And I hope I didn't hurt you too bad._

 **You're fine.**

 **And I've been trying to work up the courage to talk to you, too.**

 **You seem like a very interesting person.**

 _Aw, thanks! You do, too!_

 _Do you think we could be friends?_

 _I'd like that._

 **I…I'd like that too.**

He only hopes he won't regret letting this wild girl into his life.

* * *

Spirits.

That's the best way to describe the unfathomable mystery that is Lucy Heartfilia.

Full of spirits.

High-strung.

High-spirited.

Certifiably _insane_ after the water slide incident.

The first adventure she drags him on is a search for Neverland. She hops about excitedly, chattering away a mile a minute. He can barely keep up with her train of thought but she doesn't seem to care. She just seems happy to have another person to talk to.

They don't find Neverland that day. They do find sparkly rocks, a water snake that makes her shriek and clamber up his back like a tree, and the biggest bullfrog Rogue has ever seen in his life.

He takes it home and slips it into Sting's bed as revenge for the phone incident. His screams are like music to Rogue's ears. He records his brother's reaction for Lucy. Who finds it hysterical.

Of course, he can't be _too_ mad at his brother. He's gained a new, quirky, off the wall friend who's exuberance for life is a little hard to understand.

But she's amazing. He can't stay away from her. She has an addictive personality and all he wants to do is stay near her.

He still tries to kill Sting whenever he can. The boy has lived in peace for too long. Time to shake things up a bit.

Lucy agrees wholeheartedly and helps out with revenge schemes like a pro. He wonders where she learned to be so evil. She simply smirks and points to Natsu and Gray, her two male friends who seem just as odd as she is.

They talk all day and all night. When he isn't hanging out with her somewhere around town, or she's sick, they're texting. She gets bored easily, he learns. When she's bored, she pesters him until he pays attention to her.

* * *

 _Rogue._

 _Rogue._

 _Rogue._

 _Rogue._

 _Rogue._

 _Rogue._

 _Rogue._

 _Rogue._

 _Rogue._

 _Rogue._

 **What?**

 _Entertain me._

 **What.**

 _Entertain me._

 _My dad is gone._

 _Natsu and Gray and Erza are out of town._

 _The house is empty._

 _And I'm sick._

 _And bored._

 _Entertain me._

 **Why.**

 _Please._

 **Why.**

 _Because you're a good friend?_

 **Why.**

 _Because I asked nicely?_

 **Why.**

 _So I don't come over there and drape my sick self all over you and get you sick too, you germaphobe?_

 **…**

 **…**

 **Why are we friends again?**

 _Because I ran you over._

 _Best and most epic way to start a friendship in the history of friendships._

 _I bet that's how Caesar and Brutus's friendship started; one of them ran the other over. Then BAM! Friends forever!_

 **Brutus killed Caesar.**

 _What's your point?_

 **Should we really be emulating them?**

 _You couldn't kill me if you tried._

 **You sure about that?**

 _Yes._

 _You like me too much to kill me, you downer._

 _Now, entertain me._

 _Your queen commands it._

 **I could kill you.**

 _No you couldn't. You love me._

 **…I'm not sure what to say to that.**

 _You're supposed to say yes, I do love you._

 **Are you confessing to me, Miss Heartfilia?**

 _…_

 _…_

 _…_

 **Well?**

 _This isn't how it's supposed to go._

 **So? When have you even given any sort of social convention any consideration?**

 **You have consistently shown that you simply don't care what other people think.**

 **You're above that because you love life and living.**

 **You don't let anything hold you back.**

 **Not even what other people or society thinks is the way things are done when you set your mind to what you want.**

 _…_

 _…_

 _That's probably the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me via a text message._

 _Is that a counter confession I'm hearing, Mr. Cheney?_

 **Yeah. It is.**

 _Then I'm glad._

 _If I wasn't sick, (and all the way across town) I'd kiss you right now._

 **Kissing can wait until you're better, Miss Live While We're Young.**

 _Yeah, we'll being doing what we do, just pretending that we're cool and we know it too,_

 _Yeah, we'll keep doing what we do, just pretending that we're cool so tonight,_

 _Let's go crazy, crazy, crazy, till we see the sun,_

 **I know we only met but let's pretend it's love**

 **And never, never, never stop for anyone,**

 _Tonight let's get some,_

 ** _And Live While We're Young!_**

 **Flirting via One Direction song lyrics and text messages.**

 **What has my life become?**

 _Aw, you know you like it, Rogue! Your life was boring before we met!_

 **Yeah, it was.**

 **Now, go to sleep. I'm done entertaining you.**

 _But Rogueeeeee…_

 **NO. I confessed to you and typed out One Direction lyrics, something I NEVER thought I would do. Go to sleep.**

 _Fine._

 _Goodnight._

 **Goodnight, Lucy.**

 _XOXOX_

 **XOXOX to you, too.**

* * *

Sometimes he thinks she must have a couple loose screws rattling about in that brain of hers.

Why else would she do crazy things like run around in her bikini in the middle of the night waving sparklers and singing at the top of her lungs? Or starting an impromptu dance off in the middle of the mall? Or hosting a parade for no reason other than 'why not?' down Main Street with all the teens and kids she can coerce into helping her? And drag him along into her madness?

Maybe he's the one with the screws loose. After all, he is in love with this girl.

Is he surprised that her ringtone is Here's To Never Growing Up by Avril Lavigne? He shouldn't be. She pretty much personifies that song.

She _is_ that song.

Then she tells him _why_ she is the way she is.

The loss of her mother at a young age. Being told by her father that she shouldn't have lived past the age of five because of her weak body. Constant bouts of illness and visits to the hospital.

Deciding, with the help of her dearest friends, that it's better to live no matter how many days she may or may not have than just exist and not even try to have fun. It's always more fun when they're together, she tells him. 'They' being the group of close-knit friends he and his twin have somehow become a part of without even realizing it.

When he kisses her the first time, it's an adventure.

Life with Lucy is an adventure. He wouldn't trade his life now for his existence back then.

Not for all the world.

* * *

 _ **I will be hosting a MidKino week (Midnight/Yukino) from January 31 to February 6, 2016. Please join me in this new crack pairing love!**_

 **MidKino Week prompts**

 **Day one:** Can I keep you?

 **Day two:** Sugar High

 **Day three:** Roommates

 **Day four:** Late night shopping

 **Day five:** Makeup Fail

 **Day six:** Old Friends

 **Day seven:** Transport

 **Bonus:** Burnt

Please tell me if you're planning on participating so I can check out your stories! I'm looking for a co-host as well. If anyone is interested, please PM me!


	19. Peeping Tom

**A/N:** _A_ _nd here we have part 3 of the prank war. I hope y'all like it. XD_

* * *

He hadn't expected his first prank to be super successful. Striking while the iron was hot and all that didn't exactly make for well-thought out plans. But being caught peering into her window while she was changing wasn't his best moment.

" _Peeping Tom._ "

Sting yowled, fell off the branch, landed on his head, hauled himself up, and spun around to meet Laxus and Cobra's furious eyes. When had they shown up? The boy quailed under their scrutiny.

" _AHH!_ " He was dead. He could read promises of death and dismemberment in their enraged eyes.

"You saw."

"Didn't you, Eucliffe."

Sting knew the two were scary separate but they were downright _terrifying_ working together. "No!" He shouted frantically. "I didn't see! Well, I caught a glance, and it was fast and I didn't mean to but who hasn't seen her?"

If there was _anything_ else wrong in the world to say to two overprotective Dragon brothers, Sting didn't know what else it could possibly be. Both males' eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Okay Eucliffe, let's hear it. How much of Lucy's body did you see?" Cobra's dark tone suggested he speak very, _very_ carefully if he wanted to live to see tomorrow.

"Uh, well, she was changing," he said awkwardly, scratching his cheek while looking away. "So I…saw her underwear?" Sting finished weakly.

" _YOU SAW LUCY'S UNDERWEAR?!_ " It wasn't Laxus and Cobra howling this. Rather, it was Natsu and Gray. Sting squealed, (though he'd deny it later), as both boys advanced on him, knuckles cracking.

"So what do we do?" Gray asked.

"There's only one thing to do! We have to induce amnesia!"

Gray grabbed Sting from behind while Natsu readied the baseball bat Erza had handed him. Wait, when had _Erza_ shown up?! And Gajeel?

"That's enough, you two." Laxus said, holding up a hand. "Let's leave assault and battery to the professionals." Great, now Sting had Erza, Gray, Natsu, _and_ Gajeel after his blood! As well as Cobra and Laxus! All because of a single glimpse of Lucy's lace clad bottom!

"What are you, made of ice, Laxus? He was ogling _your sister!_ How can you be so calm about this?" Gray shouted, shaking Sting furiously. The blond's head flopped about like a rag doll. He whimpered. Stupid Fairies. _Of course_ he had to pick a fight with the one person in the entire guild they were all insanely protective of, just his luck. Rogue's exasperated face appeared in his mind's eye. **_I told you so._** The image of the Shadow Dragon Slayer looked unbearably smug.

 _Oh shut up, how was I supposed to know she was hoarded by five of the Dragon Slayers in all of Fiore?_

 ** _Because I told you so._**

 _Sometimes I just want to punch you in your perfect teeth._

The in-his-freaking-lost-mind Rogue had no comeback for that. The terrifying visage of Wendy Marvell loomed in his field of vision, yanking the White Dragon out of his reverie. Sting yelped a profanity that got him shook like a kitten. Haha, kitten, Sabertooth, ha, funny.

Yep, he'd officially lost his mind. Resulting in blurting out the first thing that came to mind when confronted with a furious looking bluenette. "I swear I didn't mean to! I'm not a pervert! I promise!"

Wendy sniffed, "Denial, the clear sign of a guilty conscience." He whimpered again. _Why is the littlest one the scariest?_

"HEY!" A half naked Lucy was hanging out of her window waving and shouting at the group below her. Sting risked a glance up and regretted it when an ice covered fist bashed into the back of his skull. Yep, she was still wearing that light purple lingerie that had gotten him _into_ this mess. _Stupid blondie and her lace._ "What do you guys think you're doing?"

"We were just defending your honor, Lucy," Erza called up to the other blonde. "We could not allow Sting to see you unclothed without retribution."

"Okay, but terrifying him and trying to murder him aren't going to help me win the prank war!"

All seven paused. Sting hung from Gray's grip in relief. Clearly, the competitive nature of the Fairies spared his life. "Huh, Bunny Girl has a point," Gajeel mumbled.

Erza sighed and pointed her sword at Sting. "Very well, if it is Lucy's wish, we will release you so you can continue your war. But if we ever, _ever_ catch you spying on her again…" Erza paused and her brown eyes lasered into his skull. If looks could kill, he'd be six feet under and pushing daisies yesterday. "Well, let's not think about that."

"You'll have me to answer to," Cobra said with a feral grin. Erza nodded.

"Gray, release him." Gray obliged and dumped the Dragon Slayer on his head.

Sting scrambled up, casting a grateful glance at the blonde still in the window, and took off at a sprint back to Sabertooth. Rogue was…not surprised when his guildmaster collapsed at their table with a moan.

"Fairies…are… _psychotic_."

Rogue took a sip of his tea and flipped the page of his book. "I told you so."

* * *

 **A/N:** _And yes, this is taken from the English dub of Ouran High School Host Club. I REGRET NOTHING._


	20. Riding the Subway

**A/N:** _OH MY GOODNESS WE'VE MADE IT TO THE 20TH STORY WOOHOO! So here's the LaLu train AU I promised you, **apriil**. There is no angst, just fluff. Enjoy, dearlings._

 **Pairing:** LaLu (Laxus/Lucy)

 **Prompt:** you made eye contact with me when a creep tried coming onto me on the subway and now you're pretending to be an old friend who wants to catch up and we're having fun making up mutual memories on the spot _{So this prompt got a little_ _altered and went in a different direction than I planned. That's okay, I think it turned out better this way. :)}_

* * *

It was a commonly known fact that Lucy Heartfilia _hated_ the subway. She didn't have a car and buses made her nervous, so that left the subway. She would have carpooled with one of her friends, but no one worked at the same time or even in the same direction as her.

With great reluctance ( _and a can of pepper spray gifted to her courtesy of Erik for her 18th birthday_ ) Lucy would board the subway every single weekday with well hidden trepidation. So far, she'd been left alone.

That was the _stupidest_ thing she could have thought.

She'd been friends with Jackal and Macbeth long enough to know just when things seem like they are going right, that is the _exact_ moment it will all go to hell in a hand-basket.

She could never forget the Great Mushroom Detonation Project of 2014 that had failed miserably right at the last moment. Turns out, mushrooms and C4 don't go together very well. ( _She still thinks Sting messed up the results somehow._ )

Her day had actually gone pretty well, all things considered. The office had run smoothly, and she'd been able to edit two or three chapters of her friend Tsubaki's newest installment in the Camilla series. Lunch with Tsubaki and Levy had been a much needed and welcomed break from eye-spinning errors of rookie writers who were trying to get into the business. Would it _kill_ them to learn to use spell check?

Then she got on the subway and almost _instantly_ a creepy pervert latched onto her and would. not. go. away. She kept edging her way around the train car and he kept following her!

Lucy cast her eyes around frantically. This creep just would _not_ leave her alone! What was she supposed to do? Her stop wasn't for at least thirty more minutes! Did she need to use her pepper spray on him?

Her frantic thoughts were halted by a heavy arm suddenly draping itself around her shoulders. Said arm crushed her to a very muscular chest, nearly suffocating her. "Hey, long time no see!" A cheerful male voice said in her ear. Lucy squeaked. The voice lowered. "Go with it. What's your name?"

"Lucy," she hissed back. "Yours?"

"Laxus," he replied and released her. Lucy chanced a glance over her shoulder, catching sight of the creep who'd been hitting on her. He had paled dramatically and was scooting rapidly away from the two. Laxus took a step back and smiled down at her. Now that he wasn't quite so much in her personal space, she could get a good look at her rescuer.

 _Holy freaking alpaca fiber, she'd been rescued by a Greek god._

Lucy wasn't unfamiliar with being around attractive men. Natsu, while being a dork and an idiot, was still very handsome in an exotic way with his dark tan skin and pink hair. Erik was just as handsome, though you couldn't tell the two were brothers just by looking at them. His maroon hair was several shades darker than Natsu's salmon locks. Her own brother was a lady magnet, and Macbeth, Rogue, and Jackal were just as gorgeous. Though Macbeth went more for the Goth look than trying to be pretty.

Levy liked to joke that Lucy had her own personal reverse harem of pretty men.

Lucy had thrown pillows at her for weeks afterward.

Even if it _was_ true that her boys ( _she had given them all a shirt one year for Christmas with Lucy's Boys written across it_ ) hovered around her like bees around the queen, she had only dated Jackal for a couple months. _That_ had ended quickly, both blondes rapidly agreeing they were better off friends.

But this guy put being gorgeous on a whole new scale. Tall, blonde, broody, sexy, with a wicked looking scar across his face, ( _what? she had friends with scars, i.e, Erik and Natsu, and they were still sexy as all get out_ ), she was trying not to drool. _Bloody bones_ , he was amazing looking. And he had saved her from a creepy pervert, so that was a bonus.

"Nice to see you again, Lucy. It's been, what, three years?" Oh right, she needed to stop ogling him and have a conversation. They were going to play the 'I remember you from years ago let's catch up' game? She could do that.

"Yeah, since college graduation." Lucy smiled up at him, holding onto the rail. "What was the last time? When you dumped coffee on me three days before finals and I nearly killed you because it was _my_ precious caffeine you wasted?" Laxus grinned slowly. Sassy was she? He liked this girl. It made his decision to help her out, like any decent man would, much more interesting. She had a quick mind, keeping up the charade of being old friends from years ago.

 _And_ she was pretty.

"No, you had dropped a shelf full of books on my head and tried to pretend it was my fault though _clearly_ it was yours." She snickered. "Not my fault, Jackal and Sting were running through the library shouting and I was trying to stop them." It was a little weird that he should have mentioned that instance because it had actually happened. He studied her, thinking the same thing. Was it possible that they actually knew each other?

Lucy reached up a hand to brush her bangs back, and he caught sight of her keychain. He lifted her can of pepper spray attached to her keys. "Nice," he said with a grin. "I don't think I've ever seen this brand before."

The can was small, pink, and had a sticker on it that said 'Dragon Repellant' with an image of a dragon with a red X over it. Lucy groaned. "It was a gift from my brother figure for my 18th birthday. I think it was supposed to be a sort of joke? I think he was implying that I use it to kick Natsu out of my room." She paused. "And bed." Lucy frowned and tapped her fingers on her chin. "Come to think of it, knowing Erik it wasn't actually a joke. He would have been _thrilled_ if I used it on Natsu."

Laxus was staring at her as if she'd just announced her decision to become the queen of the moon. "Natsu? As in, Natsu Dragneel, pink haired pyro with no mouth filter who thinks he's a fire dragon?" Lucy blinked at him.

"Oh heavens, you know Natsu?"

Laxus snapped his fingers suddenly. "You're Luce!" He said it like he just discovered the sky was blue. "Natsu doesn't ever shut up about you. I was convinced he had actually found a girlfriend from the way he talked constantly about some girl." Lucy blanched and began waving her hands around frantically.

"No, no, no, no, no!" She looked utterly horrified by such a suggestion. "Natsu and I are just friends. Gah, I need brain bleach now. I can't get those images out of my head." Her whole body shuddered while he snickered. He was familiar with the madness contained within Natsu. He didn't blame Lucy for freaking out the way she was. "My brother was the one who actually introduced me to him and Erik."

"And who _is_ your brother?" Laxus asked slowly. It would be just his luck she'd be related to someone like the Ice Stripper.

"Sting Eucliffe Heartfilia." Brown eyes rolled in her pretty head. "He met Natsu, Erik, and Rogue through some Dragon meeting or something like that." She sighed again, not noticing that Laxus wasn't really paying attention to what she was saying, but rather to her animated face. She was about to continue when an automated voice announced they were pulling into Eisenwald Station. Lucy squeaked as she was flung into Laxus's arms by the sudden stop.

 _Mmmm…he smells like cinnamon. So good… Oh my gosh, I'm sniffing my friend's friend! This is awkward! Wait, this is my stop! I need to get off._

Lucy tried to disentangle herself from Laxus's arms.

 _Tried_ being the key word.

He didn't let go.

"Uh, Laxus? This is my stop. I need to get off."

He still didn't let go. "Laxus! Seriously! I need to go!" When he _still_ didn't release her, she decided to go into default mode.

"LUCY! KICK!"

With that, she was free and bolting off the train just as the doors slid closed.

Laxus was left reeling, dazed from her kick, and staring after the flash of blonde hair and pink skirt (and the flash of blue he'd seen when she kicked him).

When he saw Natsu and Erik the next day, both inquired about the bruise on his face. Rogue took one look at him and promptly said, "You met Lucy."

Sting stared at the bigger man, who had an uncharacteristic flush creeping up his neck. Behind him, Erik was on the floor, choking on his own lungs with laughter. "Oh jeez, she Lucy Kicked you, didn't she? What happened?"

"I helped her out, she fell on me, then kicked me and ran off."

"That's Lucy," all four chorused. Natsu continued. "You're lucky she just kicked you. The first time we met, she judo-flipped me, called me a pervert, and kicked me between the legs, _then_ ran off."

"You accidentally burned her shirt off, Natsu. I think she was justified in killing you." Erik's slow drawl had Natsu pinned against the wall by an enraged Laxus.

"Woah! Dude, chill!" It took Rogue and Erik to pull Laxus off of a rapidly purpling Natsu. "Laxus, seriously, you met her once. I think you need to calm down. What happened with Natsu was an accident. If you calm down, we can try and arrange a way for you two to meet up again if you want." Sting, surprisingly, was the voice of reason in this sudden, _really_ weird situation.

Laxus took a step back, surprised and ashamed of his sudden loss of self control. Him trying to kill Natsu was nothing new. His overreaction was something different. He didn't even _know_ Lucy really and he had gone into a protective rage already.

He needed help.

Thankfully, the others were more than willing to help him with his 'blonde situation' as Erik had dubbed it. Macbeth and Jackal got in on the fun, with everyone offering conflicting advice on how to deal with Lucy Heartfilia.

Three weeks, ten cases of RedBull, five hours ( _or maybe it was fifteen_ ) of a rant on Lucy's odd habits which apparently included extreme acts of violence against the boys she loved, her near obsession/addiction to strawberries, and just some other psychotic habits, and several other embarrassing moments, Laxus finally managed to meet up with Lucy again.

He didn't get Lucy Kicked as he stuttered out a request for a date. She smiled, apologized for kicking him, and accepted his offer.

Six months later, they were still dating. The Dragon Bros, aka Lucy's Boys, were watching with pleasure as their mutual friends grew closer.

Two years after their initial, spontaneous meeting, on the same subway route, instead of saving Lucy from a creepy pervert, Laxus was down on one knee asking Lucy to spend the rest of her life with him.

To the cheers of all their friends and the strangers on the subway as well, Lucy, sobbing and laughing, said yes.

In every year that followed, the couple would ride that same route, remembering their first meeting and everything that had happened since.

* * *

 **A/N:** _Eeeee! I managed to work in a proposal! *does dance of happiness* Not at all what I was planning for this prompt but I think this was even better._


	21. everyday i'm shufflin'

**A/N:** _Somehow I went from reading an Avengers' fic about dance dares to watching dance dares to searching flash mobs to writing a story about a Fairy Tail flash mob. **How.**_

* * *

When the core group of Fairy Tail returned and decided to compete in the Grand Magic Games, most of the everyday citizens didn't know what to think. After all, it'd been seven years since they'd been seen. Their guild was no longer in favor, their name trampled in the dust.

Silly people. They should've known the wild, over the top, off the wall, party guild wouldn't go quietly into obscurity.

 _As if._

 _They were freakin' Fairy Tail!_

For some reason, the day before the beginning of the games, all of Fairy Tail was lingering in an open plaza. People were coming and going, casting curious glances as they did. The other main guilds had heard the entire guild was there and had gradually trickled in to see the old legends. Soon, all of Sabertooth, Lamia Scale, and Blue Pegasus had gathered. They didn't really know why. Irresistible curiosity perhaps? Charm magic? Whatever the reason, Lyon was eyeing them and the Twin Dragons were openly staring at their former idols. Even Mest and Lahar had shown up, eyeing the group cautiously. Tipped off in advance, Jason was there with a video lacrima, waiting for whatever Fairy Tail was about to unleash.

They weren't doing anything special, just milling around and chatting with each other. Well, they weren't brawling among each other. Did that count?

Then the music started. A loud bass began thumping, echoing across the plaza. All the members, older and returning, began laughing and moved into position. Heads bobbing, feet shuffling, even Master Makarov was out there!

Sting and Rogue felt their jaws drop. What was Fairy Tail _doing_?!

"Party Rock!" Cheers erupted from the gathered Fairy mages. The song began to play and they cut loose with a dance that started out wild, then moved into something so synchronized it looked as if they'd be practicing for years.

Wait. This was Fairy Tail, they probably _had_ been practicing for years.

By far the most energetic dancers were Erza, Natsu, and Gray, with little Asuka keeping up surprisingly well. The best dancers were Laxus, Bixlow who was holding Lucy's hand as they danced together, Lucy herself, Mystogan, and a tipsy Cana. That girl could really move for being as inebriated as she was. Wendy and Romeo seemed a bit hesitant, but watching their elders helped them get into the rhythm easily.

They danced with all the wild grace they embodied.

Crocus had never been witness to such a sight and probably never would be again. It was a testament to how much they had missed the old Fairies that they allowed this concentrated madness. Cheers rang out from the non-mages. The other guilds were trading glances, wondering how Fairy Tail had managed to steal the spotlight so quickly and so thoroughly.

No one could dispute that Fairy Tail does things _right._ They really knew how to make a comeback.

"Party rockers in the house tonight!" The whole guild sang.

Lucy flashed the others a smile and a wink. _We're back, babe. We are back._


	22. I Had the Boy, She Got the Man

**A/N:** _One last little story before MidKino week hits. :) Enjoy._

 _Inspired by Jana Kramer's song I Got The Boy._

* * *

 _She watches them unobtrusively. A sad, tired smile crosses her face._

* * *

Seeing him brings back memories of the old days.

I had the ponytailed, reckless street racer. The boy who would sneak under my window and wait for me to come out and go racing with him. The boy with no fear. The boy who wasn't scared of my father and would've challenged him directly if I would let him. I patched him up, kissed his cheeks, and played with that ponytail.

I listened to his plans for life. Of becoming the greatest racer in the history of ever, of finally making his adopted father proud. He tried to coax my dreams out of me, but how could I tell him about something I didn't have?

I was his past. His memories. His teenage years. Even now, ten years later, I could close my eyes and see every single moment spent with him with frightening clarity.

We'd ride around town in his pickup, his baseball cap on my head, the radio cranked up as high as it could go. He'd sing in the crackly, deepening voice of his and I'd laugh at him and show him how to really sing.

Our first kiss was sloppy and awkward in a way only two love drunk teens could make it. He'd been so nervous, so shy, so unlike him in the way he touched my face. I didn't know how I felt for that hot headed rebel child until he touched me. He was loud, brash, hot headed, and overconfident. I wore his class ring until the very end, until it wasn't mine to claim any longer.

My broken heart had been my own business. It mended and I moved on.

But she…

* * *

 _She studies them._

* * *

I'd seen the pictures in the paper. He'd looked so good in that tux, so grown up. He'd cut his hair. Goodbye, ponytail. But oh, that silly scarf of his was still around his neck.

He'd changed in ten years. She gets a cool, steady man. One who has learned to take life slowly and not go charging ahead with no plan. I may have gotten the first kiss, but she'll get the last. I'll have the memories, but she gets the real thing. Both of us had something the other never could have. If things had been different, which version of him would I have chosen? Pure speculation, because that's what it all comes down to:

I had the boy. She gets the man.

* * *

 _She quietly lifts her glass to the laughing couple, sets it down, and slips out the door._


	23. when the shirts come off

**A/N:** _Hallo, babes! This oneshot was requested a heck of a long time ago by_ **ILoveLyon** _(heheh, sorry about that) and I finally found the muse to finish it._

 _A quick PSA! **I will be going on temporary hiatus** until I have a chapter for each of my 11 ( **eep!** ) chapter stories written up. Don't worry, I'll be back. It may just be a bit. Until then, enjoy!_

 _Prompt: Could you make one about Gray and Lyon's friendship, no romance just good old fashion friendship. I wouldn't mind little mentions of Gruvia, or that Lyon likes Juvia (not necessary but I wouldn't mind). Just something like they go on a mission together, and have to watch each other backs, and team work stuff :)_

* * *

"I can't believe I have to do a mission with _you_."

"Thanks for the encouragement, Lyon." Gray rolled his eyes at his fellow Ice Make Mage, shoving his hands in the pockets of the pants he _somehow_ managed to keep on. He wasn't anymore pleased with having to work with Lyon than Lyon was with him. But Master had insisted that this mission was best for two Ice Mages. He _also_ refused to tell them what the mission parameters were.

Suspicious, but there was nothing to be done.

So with _great_ reluctance, they had to work together.

Gray sighed. He _really_ didn't want to have to go on this mission. He had just gotten back from a loooong one with Juvia and Gajeel ( _that had been_ buckets _of fun_ ) and he wanted to rest. He tolerated Lyon on a good day.

Today was _not_ a good day. Especially since all Lyon wanted to talk about was Juvia. Juvia this, Juvia that, do you think Juvia would like this or be interested in that? Did Gray want to throttle his adopted brother?

Yes. Yes, he did.

Don't get him wrong, Gray had nothing against Juvia. Yes, she could be a little crazy obsessed with him, but she was also one of the sweetest girls he'd ever met, in the guild or out.

But he didn't like her like that.

Yeah.

He didn't.

Really.

Annnyway, now he was stuck on this mission, which he knew _nothing_ about, with his incredibly annoying _sort of_ brother who had way too much gel in his spiky white hair! They just needed to get this over and done with so he could go back to his life's goal of pissing Natsu off and finally beating him! By this point, he'd take defeating a bunch of rabid, flower-eating chickens _if it meant he could go home._

Turns out the mission was _not_ to destroy any monsters or defeat dark mages. ( _Or fight rabid, flower-eating chickens._ )

Gray and Lyon had been asked to teach a group of little girls how to ice skate.

Both Mages stared goggle-eyed at the group of leotard clad girls in skates. For once, their cool demeanors were completely shaken, smashed to bits, and turned into sparkly glitter. They looked between the girls to the requester and back again.

Several times.

"Um…" Lyon said smoothly.

"Wha-?" Gray asked just as smoothly. The little dark haired woman who'd requested their services, Satsuki, was _so_ happy to see them.

"Oh goodness, I didn't think they'd send us such _handsome_ Mages!" She fluttered her hands about and giggled. "Just imagining you skating with the littler girls, ooooo… what a sweet picture!" She seemed to be emitting flowery sparkles just Master Bob of Blue Pegasus did. Except his weren't flower-shaped. "I'm sorry, I just can't control the moe flowers!"

"Huh?" What on _Earthland_ was she going on about? Gray shook his head and sighed slightly. Glancing to the side, he was met with the startling sight of several little girls huddled together, whispering and giggling as they looked him over. All fifteen of them squealed when they saw his eyes on them.

Oh _geez_ , it was a group of miniature Juvias. This was going to be interesting. Gray sighed. Better get this over with.

Once the lesson actually started, though, Gray and Lyon proved why Master had asked them to work together. They were calm, patient, and gentle with the girls, who for the most part left the swooning to Satsuki.

The giggling, though, he could have done without. Who knew little girls could be so loud?

Also, where did his shirt go?

Was _that_ why the little girls were giggling so much?

And Lyon was missing his shirt too.

…Maybe it was time to go home before they got arrested for traumatizing children.

Gray shrugged his shirt back on as he and Lyon waved to the little girls and Satsuki. Both Mages were quiet as they headed toward the train station and back to their respective guilds. Just as Lyon was about to get on the train back to Margaret Town, Gray stuck out his hand. "Uh," he said awkwardly. Gray turned his head to the side, avoiding Lyon's questioning eyes. "It…was…I'm glad we got to do a mission together, even if it was kind of silly." He looked up at his brother figure and let a wry grin cross his face at Lyon's stunned look. "Like old times, yeah?"

Almost reluctantly, a matching smile crawled onto the white haired Ice Mage's face. He bumped his fist against Gray's outstretched one.

"Yeah. Old times."

* * *

 **A/N:** _Satsuki is from Maid Sama. She's so funny with her moe flowers. :D_


	24. not a child

**A/N:** _I adopted this AU from the amazing Dragon's Host who gave me free rein on the universe! And yeah, Star Wars. I love Star Wars. And now I have several different SW AUs brewing in the back of my mind..._

 _Gratuitous use of my Star Wars nerdy knowledge. Just be warned. Finding different species for all the characters was way too much fun._

 _In case you didn't know, I'm now on Tumblr! Go check me out under the same username as on here, **Empress of Everything**. :)_

* * *

"Padawan Gryder, if I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times; Jedi Marvell is _not_ a lost child. Stop bringing her here when there are other children you could be searching for." The white Cathar Master huffed at the penitent student in front of her. "Honestly, if you applied yourself to your missions the way you do to capturing Jedi Marvell, you'd've made Jedi Knight by now!"

Mest quailed as Master Carla tore into him for the eighth time that week. On the other side of the Master, Jedi Wendy Marvell stood watching him with a mildly sympathetic yet still annoyed look, her blue head-tails twitching.

Across the entryway, Jedi Knights Erza Scarlet and Mirajane Strauss watched the scene unfold. Mira pressed one of her four hands to her mouth to stifle her giggles. "Poor Mest, he just can't believe that Wendy is actually a rank above him and the Temple's second best healer, can he?"

"Clearly not," the red-haired Hapan replied. It was aggravating for the healer's apprentice to be constantly mistaken for a lost child, no doubt, but intensely amusing for the rest of the Temple. Natsu and Gray, ( _the former a hot-headed Twi'lek like his adopted sister and the latter a cool Corellian_ ), had a running bet going with the Kashir Jedi Knight Cana Alberona. Most of the junior Knights, and even some of the Masters, were in on the bet. If Mest broke his record of trying to bring Wendy to the lost child center, over half the junior Knights would go broke.

Not being mistaken for a child was easier for the other healer's apprentice, Chelia. A Zeltron, her body was unmistakably womanly. Her skimpy clothing was strategically made to show off her pink-skinned curves. Wendy hadn't grown in height or curves since _before_ she became a Jedi Knight. Her complaints to Master Porlyusica only made the Witch smack her with a broom and send her on a wild goose chase for a series of herbs that didn't exist.

Wendy didn't complain about her body after that.

"MEST." The Padawan in question jumped a full three feet in the air and half vanished before his body settled back into its natural state. He blanched up to his horns as his Master, the Bothan Lahar, bore down on him with righteous fury while his fur ruffled in waves.

"Uh…hello Master Lahar," Mest squeaked out. Erza and Mira were done with subtlety and were leaning against each other as they shook with laughter. Lahar was a terrifying member of the Jedi Council, but when his fur ruffled up like an angry cat, it was all the younger Jedi could do not to collapse into hysterics. Well, all except Mest. Mest was still terrified of his Master's wrath even when Lahar looked like a cat.

"Padawan Gryder, Master Carla told me that this is the 14th time you have dragged Jedi Marvell to the lost child center, despite knowing full well that she is not a lost child." Lahar crossed his arms over his chest and gave his apprentice a stern look. "I had hoped the last incident would've settled your mind on her age. Clearly I was wrong." Mest hung his head, casting a sidelong glance at the Twi'lek healer. It was hard not to mistake Wendy, who was the tiniest woman he'd ever seen, for a child when he didn't see her very often. But the way his Master put it, it did sound rather ridiculous.

"Now." Mest's head whipped back to his Master. He didn't like the sudden crafty gleam in his eyes. Through the Force, he was getting the sense that Lahar had some sort of punishment planned. "As your punishment,"

 _I knew it._

"You will assist Jedi Marvell for the next two weeks. Whatever she needs, you will do. Without complaint." His purple eyes fixated on Mest. The Padawan jumped and bowed to the now smirking Wendy. His heart sank to his boots.

Given the look on the blue skinned girl's face and Jedi Strauss and Scarlet's increased laughter, it was going to be a long two weeks.

* * *

 **A/N:** _I kind of overdid it on the Star Wars-ness. Oh well._

Mest is a Zabrak

Carla is a Cathar

Wendy is a Twi'lek

Porlyusica is a Dathomirian witch

Erza is Hapan

Mirajane is a Codru'Ji

Lahar is a Bothan

Chelia is a Zeltron


	25. pretend we're dating

**A/N:** _And another request from Tumblr. Thanks for all the requests, **apriiil**. :) You can find me on Tumblr as **Empress of Everything**!_

 _Prompt: "I need you to pretend we're dating…"_

 _Pairing: Sting/Lucy_

* * *

The crushing grip on his arm made Sting wince, but the other blonde made no move to unhand him. Instead, she continued her singleminded march away from the store. Her cheeks were flushed hot pink and she grumbled and fussed nonstop.

"Look, lady, you're really cute and I normally wouldn't mind getting dragged off by a cute girl, but I was in the middle of shopping when you kidnapped me so if you wouldn't mind letting me go?"

She turned, as if she'd completely forgotten he was there. With a wrinkle in the middle of her forehead, she looked like a confused child. But still, she was cute. Less cute were the words that tumbled from her mouth a moment later.

"I need you to pretend we're dating."

Sting rubbed his ear. Surely he had not just heard what he thought he heard. "Excuse me."

"I need you to pretend we're dating."

Okay, it wasn't his hearing. This girl was insane.

"It's just for a short time! I told my friend who I ran into in the store that I was shopping with my boyfriend and you were the first single person I saw. I'm really sorry about that, by the way." She poked her fingers together and peeked at him. "So, um, could you pretend to be dating me, just for a couple weeks? Until I can get my friends off my back?"

Sting crossed his arms and considered her plea. With a shrug he nodded. "Sure, what could go wrong?"

Oh if only he knew…


	26. the crazy families

_Prompt: "I'd like to apologize in advance for my crazy family."_

 _Pairing: LaLu, with Crime Sorcerie and Raijinshu family feels._

* * *

Girlfriends were tricky territory for Laxus Dreyar. After the last three had been run off by his siblings, he was beginning to wonder if the universe was maybe-possibly-kind of trying to send him a message.

Speaking of siblings…

Laxus lifted the book ever so slightly off his face to check on them. To be honest, he hadn't been sure what to think when, just as he was entering his teenage years, his old coot of a grandfather had adopted three very strange children. Like, he knew some weird kids ( _Gildarts' brat and adopted brats were straight up insane_ ) but these three? They took the cake for outright weirdness.

But Laxus loved them. He'd been an only child in this old rambly house with only his ancient grandfather for company for so long. Having other children in the house actually made life more interesting, even if they were total weirdos. He rarely showed it and almost never said it but he really did love them.

Except right now. Right now he wanted to drop kick all three into the river. Maybe then he could keep a girlfriend for longer than two weeks.

Five years and seven girlfriends later, Laxus Dreyar was still very much single. It was like Freed, Evergreen, and Bixlow _wanted_ him to be a lonely old geezer…

"You know," a female voice drawled out. "If you're going to pretend you're asleep, you shouldn't move around so much."

Laxus sighed and dropped his book back on his face. "Yeah, yeah, I know, Ever."

He heard her shifting in the chair next to the fireplace and sighed. Great, she was getting comfortable. That meant one of two things: Ever was bored and wanted someone to talk at and Bixlow and Freed weren't around, or she was there to discuss his 'state of singleness and how to fix it' aka, setting him up on yet another blind date.

If Laxus was a betting man, his money would be on the latter.

"So Laxus…"

He groaned into Mr. Darcy's letter to Elizabeth. _Called it._

"Oh don't even give me that!" Without realizing it, Laxus' hand shot up to stop the pillow Ever had flung at his head. He pulled his book off his face only to run abruptly into his adopted sister's gorgon stare. Evergreen sighed. "Look, just hear me out, okay? She's really nice and sweet. I think you two would get along. You'll like her a lot, Laxus."

"I don't trust the girls you've picked out. Bixlow has run the last two off. Why would this one be any exception?"

"Because she's already met Bixlow and Freed." Laxus stared at his smug sister.

"That's not possible," he said bluntly. "No one in their right mind would be interested in dating me after meeting them."

Evergreen just grinned. "You clearly haven't met her family." There was a scary gleam in his sister's eye that he did not like the look of. "You are _going_ to meet her, Laxus, even if I have to get Bixlow to drag you there!"

Laxus briefly attempted to calculate the viability of an escape plan before Evergreen acted on her threat. The risk was too high for too little gain. Looks like he'd have to endure yet another blind date. Semi blind date. Whatever.

"And no more fussing, you closet romantic!"

"Ever! Stop throwing pillows at me!"

* * *

Evergreen was right. Lucy was nice and sweet, and very pretty too. She hadn't mentioned, however, that the tiny blonde was just as insane as his family. Who in their right mind ordered a seven shot Americano with no cream or sugar? She must have some strong tastebuds.

He couldn't say anything really rude though. She was actually the most interesting girl he'd met in years.

If only his family wouldn't be such creepers and insist on coming along on his date. They were at a different table, thankfully, but the blatant staring was unnerving.

"I'd like to apologize in advance for my crazy family," Laxus said with a quiet groan. Lucy chuckled across from him.

"Believe me, they couldn't _possibly_ be worse than my family. If there was a prize for 'Strangest Family in Fiore', they would've won for ten years running." She waved a subtle hand toward another table in the small cafe. Cutting his eyes to the side, Laxus was met with fierce glares. Two brunettes, two white headed girls, and a blonde were watching him with intensity, as if daring him to make a move.

"Nope, I think you're family wins the crazy award. Their glares could kill." Lucy twisted in her seat and shot her family a murderous look. Instantly, they subsided.

It was in that moment that Laxus realized something.

Lucy Heartfilia was the girl for him.


	27. Ten Minutes

_Prompt: "It's not okay" CoLu._

 _One last one before I go on holiday again!_

* * *

"Look, Bright Eyes, it'll wash off…"

Cobra had his hands raised in defense. When Lucy got angry, it was best to back away slowly and pray she didn't feel like coming after him. Most things that upset her would blow over within a few hours, ( _the alligator in the bathtub was a notable exception_ ), but this…

As far as the eye could see in their tiny apartment, there lay neon blue paint. Sprinkled on the couch, dribbled on the floor, puddled on the hall rug, and the walls. Oh the walls. Turkey handprints made an appearance next to what looked like a giant outline of a snake. Stars and keys were also identifiable among the random splatters.

Lucy stabbed a finger toward their beaming four year old son and daughter. "IT'S NOT OKAY. LOOK AT THEM."

Cobra had to concede the point. It would take several baths to get all the paint off their children, seeing as they had taken turns dumping the containers of paint over each other in an effort to change their blonde hair to blue.

He sighed. This was what happened when he took ten minutes for a nap…


	28. Gameboy Color

"Soranoooooooo….." Yukino drew out her sister's name as long as she could and subtly dug her heels into the ground.

It was to no avail. Once set off, her sister was a force to be reckoned with, somewhat akin to a hurricane. Sorano merely tightened her grip on Yukino's wrist and hauled her along. "No, Yuki, it's for your own good. I don't want to see you wasting your life away while locked up in your house! You need to get out and meet people and go on dates and not be a hermit for the rest of your life, hunched over that tablet of yours," she scolded, ever the big sister even though Yukino was well into her 20s. Both of their sundresses fluttered in the spring wind. It was a beautiful day out now that the unpleasantness of winter had passed. The streets were a riot of color with flowers blooming in every window box and on every street corner.

 _A riot of color and pollen_ , Yukino thought bitterly. There was a reason she'd shut herself up in her apartment all April and May long. If her sister's matchmaking attempts didn't do her in, it would be the pollen no doubt.

Sorano steered Yukino to a small cafe she knew all too well, having worked there for months. Shoved into a seat, Sorano patted her sister on the head, though she was careful not to ruffle Yukino's hairdo. "It's for your own good, Yuki," she repeated. "Now have fun!" It was more of a command than a request.

Only ordering a cup of Earl Gray could calm Yukino's nerves. There was no telling what sort of person her sister had found for this blind date.

"Well, this is a surprise."

Her cup halfway to her mouth, Yukino's hand froze in midair. _Oh no. Oh_ **_no_**. Surely, surely Sorano wouldn't do this to her? She turned, oh so carefully, and locked eyes with Midnight, her best friend since college. She whimpered. He smirked and sat down. "Come, come, Kino, is that any way to greet your best friend?"

She scowled and kicked at him under the table. Used to years of random swipes at his shins, he simply shifted his legs so her heeled feet missed him. Midnight leaned back in his seat, waiting for the flood of words he knew was to come. The sudden desperation that flashed across Yukino's face had tipped him off. "So, Angel has somehow coerced you into dating again? I thought you swore that off after the last fiasco with Natsu." Her face twisted into a scowl at the mention of her erstwhile boyfriend.

Her dark eyes flicked to the side before she caved. He knew her way too well and enjoyed dragging the words out of her.

"Please," Yukino begged her best friend. "I know this is going to be awkward, but if I don't date you, Sora will set me up with someone like…" Yukino scrambled to think of another single guy her sister knew. _Jellal? No, he and Ultear are dating. Sting is still chasing Meredy, Rogue and Kagura have an agreement, Gray and Erza have been together for so long I don't think I've ever seen them apart, Laxus has Lucy, who all is still even single?_ "Like…Freed!"

Midnight raised a perfectly manicured eyebrow. "Freed? You honestly think your sister would set you up with the guy she's pining after?" He sighed at her look of wide-eyed confusion and waved her off. "If I do agree to this…arrangement, you know I'll be putting myself into considerable danger with your sister if she finds out we aren't really dating," he said reasonably. "There has to something in it for me."

She knew _exactly_ what he wanted. With a groan, she dug through her purse and reluctantly handed over her ancient purple Gameboy Color, along with her precious Dance Dance Revolution games. His dull red eyes lit up like a child given candy at the sight of them.

"I hate your guts," Yukino muttered. Midnight nodded absently, already too deeply enthralled with the game. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea…


	29. drunk mantis

**A/N:** _This is what happens when I have late night conversations with a BixLu fanatic (you know who you are) about a picture where Freed looks somewhat akin to a praying mantis. Crazy madness occurs and it's hilarious._

* * *

"'M tellin' ya, Cosplay'r, we should go out som'time."

How on earth had the party gone downhill so fast? Fairy Tail parties usually did after a few hours but Lucy had hoped, just this once, that it maybe could be a little peaceful. She just wanted to celebrate her first pregnancy with a nice party. Not the drunken riot Fairy Tail turned everything into.

And to top it all off, her darling husband was drunk off his face.

And hitting on her.

Okay, he always hit on her and flirted in public. It was just his personality. But when he was drunk…Bixlow tended to get a little…touchy-feely and very, very clingy. Case and point: he was leaning all over her, trying to ask her out on a date. She loved him, she really, really did, but if he didn't get off of her right now, their first baby would be their last and she would be a widow.

Thankfully, while drunk Bixlow had the attention span of a 4 year old.

"Look! It's Mantis Freed!" Bixlow pointed at Freed, a wild gleam in his uncovered eyes. The babies hovered around him, spinning and giggling, changing 'Mantis, mantis' over and over. Lucy's whole face flushed scarlet. Freed's mouth hung open in horror. Being one of the only sober people in the guild, he tried not to take offense at Bixlow's sudden proclamation. But _why_ did he look like a praying mantis?

He began backpedaling as Bix approached him, red eyes wide and his hands coming up to rest on his head. Freed froze. _Now_ what?

"Freed is a mantis! Look, his antennae are wiggling like a mantis!" Bixlow wriggled his fingers on top of his head, trying to imitate what in his drunken haze he thought a praying mantis would look like. "Mantis, mantis!" The babies cheered, zooming around in excitement. Poor Freed spluttered out disagreements that he was a mantis but Bix ignored him and kept on crowing. The ensuing chase around the guild lasted a good long time.

Freed never quite recovered.

One of the babies, Pappa, flew over to sit next to Lucy. The little soul sighed and cuddled close to his master's pregnant wife. "Bix is an idiot," he hummed to Lucy. She rolled her eyes and nodded. "That he is, Pappa. But you have to admit it's kind of funny watching him terrorize poor Freed." The little totem giggled and nuzzled Lucy's belly where he knew the newest member of their family was growing. He was happy for Bixlow and Lucy. A new baby in the household would be fun.

Though, he rather hoped the baby would be like Lucy and a little less like Bixlow. The world could only take one Bixlow.

* * *

"Whoa!" Bix shouted suddenly. He'd finally given up his chase of Freed and returned to Lucy's side. Lucy had been leaning against his shoulder and nearly fell off the bench when he flinched. "When did I get married?!"

Lucy's eyebrows shot straight up in horror. This was too much. Bixlow had forgotten they were married? She could overlook a few minor lapses, like forgetting he was part of Fairy Tail and trying to go home with Sabertooth ( _it had happened before_ ) or not knowing his first name ( _also something that had happened before_ ) but forgetting entirely that he was married? That was going too far. She groaned and dropped her head into her hands. A small flash on her left hand caught Bixlow's attention.

"Hey look, Cosplayer, you're married too!" Bixlow's big hand grabbed her much smaller one and lifted it up. He turned it, admiring the pretty ring adorning her hand. It was nothing fancy; a simple silver wedding band and matching engagement ring set with an amethyst with two small rubies set on either side. It was a perfect ring for a perfect woman. He frowned as a thought intruded on his contemplation of her slim hand.

Another man had seen the perfection contained within Lucy Heartfilia and now she belonged heart and soul to that man. He obviously hadn't made a move like he'd planned. Another man won Lucy's heart and he was left without her shining soul. But he was married as well. How on earth had he moved on from his Cosplayer? What other woman managed to catch his attention and take it away from her?

There was no woman who could compare to Lucy. Mirajane had tried to set him up with so many different women over the years, including but not limited to all of his female guildmates and Mages from the other guilds. But it was no use. He was still stuck on Lucy.

His frown deepened.

He didn't like this. Who on earth could have possibly stolen the Celestial Mage?

"Bixlow?" Her soft voice broke through his thoughts. Through the slight haze, he could make out Lucy's worried face. She tugged his head down to rest on her lap. Bixlow stiffened. He didn't want that husband of hers to come out of nowhere and rip him a new one for cuddling his wife. If he were married to Lucy, he'd be just as protective of the small woman. But once her fingers began threading through his hair, he gave up and slipped into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

Every time he got drunk and woke with a roaring, pounding headache, Bixlow swore up and down he wouldn't get drunk again.

Did he keep to that vow?

Of course not.

His head throbbed. Whoever decided sunlight was a good invention clearly needed to their head checked. His groans were more prehistoric animal than human being.

Wait. That sounded like something Lucy would say.

Lucy. Where was she?

"Well, good morning, sunshine," an amused voice greeted him from above. Bixlow moaned and tried to roll to the side, only to be met with a bright pink dress and rounded belly. He craned his head up and up, wincing at the light, and met his wife's eyes. Lucy looked way too chipper for the time of day.

"Did you sleep good, love?" Her brown eyes danced with a hidden joke in the depths. Normally that would put him on his guard (she'd learned pranking from a master, after all) but as he contemplated death, her mischievous tone wasn't on his mind.

"Yeah," he muttered groggily. Sitting up probably wasn't a good idea but he did it anyway. His babies zipped behind him and helped prop him up. A wave of nausea crashed over him and nearly knocked him back over. Only through sheer force of will did he stay upright. "Man, last night must've been one hell of a party…" Bixlow massaged his forehead. Lucy's laughter finally burst through the dam of her hand clamped over her mouth.

Oh that wasn't good. He stared at Lucy with concern. Each time she calmed down and stopped giggling, one look at his confused, visorless face would send her off into a fit of laughter. "I…I'm sorry!" She howled, collapsing against the seat back, still snickering every now and then. "You, oh Bix, you should've seen what you did last night."

With dawning horror in his face and voice, he stuttered out the vital question.

"Lucy…what _did_ I do last night?"

* * *

It wasn't until a week later that he found out about the video Laxus had taken.


	30. bedtime

_Prompt: "It's only one night, we'll just share the bed." + Midkino_

* * *

"It's only one night, we'll just share the bed."

That was the worst thing Yukino could've said. Already pasty white, Midnight's face drained of any remaining blood as he stared at the Celestial Mage. He literally had no words. Had those Dragon Slayers of hers' rubbed off on her that much?

"Yukino, I really don't think that's a good idea." Midnight swallowed, his throat bone dry. If Sorano ever got wind of him sleeping in the same bed as her sister, the Angel Mage would ensure he would never be able to have children. Even without knowing Yukino, Meredy and Jellal would probably help her.

Sorano would never believe his story. They had gotten separated from the rest of Crime Sorciere and the Twin Dragons when the two groups ran into each other. A freak storm, no way of getting ahold of each other, and only one room left in the inn, and Midnight was now contemplating putting himself in a coma to avoid death.

The girl looked at him oddly then shrugged. Her small hands moved over the bedspread, smoothing it down and fluffing the pillows. "Why not?" She asked. "I sleep in the same bed with the boys all the time on missions with Sting and Rogue. They're cuddle bugs." Scratch that, apparently those morons had rubbed off on her.

How was he supposed to explain that he would really rather not die at the hands of her sister without being rude?

He hadn't even formed his thoughts before a towel smacked him in the face. Startled, he pulled it off to peals of Yukino's laughter. "Midnight, you look like a drowned cat!" She choked out, holding her stomach as she shook with laughter. Yukino had to sit down, she was laughing so hard. Midnight huffed and looked away petulantly. Scrubbing his soaked hair off went a long way toward warming him up and improving his mood. Yukino had already dried off and changed into her pajamas, striped pants and a t-shirt that said _all the beauty of life is made up of light and shadow_. There were only two people she could've gotten _that_ from.

There was only one way he could get out of this situation intact and still breathing. For the first time in a long time, Midnight was grateful for his insomnia. "You can have the bed, Yukino," he said quietly. "I'm not planning on sleeping until much later."

Her arms moved to cross under her bosom as Yukino fixed the one of the most chilling glances he'd ever seen on him. He was violently reminded that there was no way she wasn't Sorano's sister; their murderous looks were identical.

Two hours later, still wide awake with a snoring Yukino curled up on his chest, he wondered how this happened. Yukino shifted in her sleep, her face nuzzling into the fur of his vest.

Oh well, Midnight decided, risking a tiny kiss to the top of her head. It was only one night.


	31. vengeance suits her not

**A/N:** _I was inspired by CA: Civil War and Blamedorange's (on Tumblr) Kagura and Jellal art. It's SO amazing. Y'all should check it out._

* * *

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

Her hands scrabble to feel a pulse in her brother's limp arm. They were here for the signing of the Eisenwald Accords. There was going to be peace. Peace and the oversight of the Fairies was the goal of the Accords.

Not an explosion and the death of innocents.

Innocents like her brother.

Kagura begins to shake as a feral howl claws its way out of her throat to be released into the open air, mingling with the scream of the sirens.

* * *

Hours later, still in shock, Kagura sits frozen on the bench outside Crocus's now demolished government building. The explosion had ripped through the supports of the lower levels, as well as the conference room where all the delegates had gathered. Thirty-seven people have been killed, she hears numbly, and countless others injured. Around her finger, she absently twists the ring her brother had worn ever since the death of their father years ago. Now it is hers. The renewed stab of anguish at the thought of her dead brother nearly left Kagura gasping for breath.

"Your Highness."

Behind her, a woman clears her throat. Kagura twists in place to look back at her. The Scarlet Widow, Titania Erza, formerly of ERA, now a member of the Fairies stands there looking apologetic. For what, Kagura does not know. In her hand, she holds a report stamped with the Fairy mark.

The chill that runs down Kagura's spine is not one of fear.

Instead, a predatory thrum spikes through her body.

Perhaps it is time for the Black Panther to finally reemerge from myth.

* * *

His name is Jellal Fernandes. Titania is tight-lipped about the information she can share, ( _perhaps out of former loyalty to him? a source informed Kagura that Erza and Jellal had once been…an item_ ), but she tells the now Queen that he had once been a compatriot and close friend of Gray Fullbuster, superhero name of Captain America. There was no way the Captain would turn on his best friend. Not even if it meant turning over a suspected bomber.

When Fernandes is spotted trying to escape Clover, she knows it's time.

The suit, made of black leather strengthened with vibranium, has been passed from one King to the next, from Princesses and Princes since the beginning of time.

It fits Kagura like a glove, molding to her body as if made to do so. She doesn't doubt that's true. She only knows a little of the myth of the Black Panther, having preferred to run off and play swords as a child, but Simon had loved the story. He would recite it as often as Kagura would sit and listen to him.

As she looks at herself in the mirror, settling the mask over her face and her mass of hair, she regrets. She regrets not telling her brother how much she loved him. She regrets not being a better Princess and heir.

But mostly…she just regrets.

The claws of the suit spring out as she flexes her fingers. Now, there is no time for regrets.

There is only vengeance.

* * *

In the end, she doesn't even get that. She had been played like the fool she was and nearly murdered an innocent man. Well, with the blood of dozens on his hands, there is no way the former Winter Soldier could ever be considered innocent, but in her brother's death, he is not culpable.

The man behind it all, a man named Brain, is _right there_. It would be child's play to end his life in payment for Simon's. Something stops her, though. After running on rage and vengeance and adrenaline for days, she is suddenly so very _tired_. Killing Brain would not bring Simon back. Killing Brain might make her feel better for a short time but at what cost?

She pulls the claws in. Brain's life is not worth Simon's nor is it worth her sanity.

When Gray Fullbuster comes to her to ask for protection for Jellal and the rest of the scattered Fairies, she gives it. Not without hesitation but she gives it all the same.

Kagura is a Queen, after all. Vengeance does not suit her.


	32. pumpkin spice breve

**A/N:** _A request from my dear apriiil from tumblr "who the hell drinks coffee with a straw" for some sassy BixCo brotp_

* * *

Bixlow finished placing his order, flashed a brilliant smile at the unimpressed barista ( _her name tag read Minerva_ ), and headed back to his seat to wait for his project partner.

How the two had ever gotten paired up was beyond him, especially after the… _incident_ at the beginning of the year. Still, Erik was supposed to be a brilliant chemist and boy did Bixlow need all the help he could get. He squinted at the project paper, attempting to decipher the mad scribbling of their professor.

Yes, their insane nutrition professor Mest Gryder didn't type out his handouts. He wrote a copy then photocopied that. His poor TA went around in a constant puddle of despair and tears from his eccentric behavior. For what had to be the hundredth time that day, Bixlow cursed Evergreen to the moon and back. Of all the days she had to accidentally drop his contacts in the toilet, it _had_ to be today. His glasses…were AWOL. And thus his eyesight suffered.

Hearing his name being hollered by the excitable blonde behind the counter, Bix heaved himself upward to go claim his mocha. He eyed the kid as he accepted his drink and returned to his table. _Maybe he should lay off the caffeine_.

"Oi! Feder!" Bixlow turned in his seat. Approaching him was the grumpy chemistry major holding his own drink in a death grip. Behind his glasses, his single eye was exhausted. Erik slid into the seat across from Bixlow and dropped his backpack on the floor with a low groan.

"Hey what's up…what are you drinking. Who the hell drinks coffee with a straw."

Erik glared out of his one eye (the rumors about how he lost the other one abounded) and set his drink down on the table. Almost prissily, he growled around the straw. " _I_ drink coffee with a straw, dumbass."

Gaping, Bixlow leaned over to stare at Erik's drink, ignoring his possessive snarl. "What even is that?"

With an obnoxious slurp, Erik answered. "An iced pumpkin spice breve with extra cream, whip cream, and chocolate sprinkles," he rattled off from obvious memory. Bixlow gagged.

"That sounds horrible."

Erik shrugged, pulling out his books. "Minerva suggested it to me as a joke once and now I can't get enough of them. It took some getting used to all the sugar but it actually helps me stay awake."

Utterly repulsed, Bixlow pulled his books out and tried to ignore the girlie drink sitting across from him. "Let's just…work on this then…" He didn't need to smell that drink any longer than he had to.


	33. tell me a secret

**A/N:** _I'm finding old stories and tumblr requests... be wary._

* * *

"Tell me a secret."

Loke turned to look at his half-dressed master lounging on her bed. It was a rare lazy day for the two, with no naked ice Mages, destructive fire Mages, teasing cats, or nosy and blushing requip Mages invading their space. He would enjoy the peace for as long as it lasted.

"A secret, Princess? What makes you think _I_ have secrets?" He pressed a hand to his heart, as if offended by the very suggestion. Lucy rolled her eyes and propped her feet on the wall. Her bare toes wiggled as she talked.

" _Loke_. You've been around for I don't know how long. You're bound to have some ghastly secret, or secret _s_ , hiding under your mane." Loke huffed at the insult and padded over to seat himself on the edge of the bed. His fingertips traced the spot over her heart where his symbol would appear when Lucy activated her Star Dress. His other hand toyed with a strand of her hair. Behind his glasses, Loke's eyes slid shut. He hadn't thought about secrets in a long time. "What kind of secret? A secret I've kept from you or I've never told anyone?"

Lucy's ears perked up, he could almost see it. He stifled a chuckle. His mistress was so easy to read. The reporter instincts she still had from her time away from the guild had no doubt gone into overdrive at the mention of deeper secrets. She shifted into a more comfortable position with her head resting in his lap and grandly waved a hand. Loke rolled his eyes. "So demanding, Princess," he said as he tugged on the lock of hair he was still holding. Lucy whined. Too overcome by laughter and her cuteness, Loke peppered the tip of her nose with kisses.

"LOKE!" Lucy squealed and kicked her feet, one hand coming up to bat at his face. "Be serious!"

"Fine, fine. See? I'm serious." He pulled a face that wasn't at all serious, just to get her to laugh.

"Lokeeeeeee!"

Loke chuffed another laugh and leaned against her headboard. As he mulled over four centuries worth of secrets and memories, one stood out the most to him. It was probably the most personal secret, after Karen's death, that Loke held. What better one to tell his beloved Mistress? "I have a little brother, the Little Lion, Leo Minor, who I haven't seen in…man, probably three centuries now. I've wished with all my key holders that I'd be able to see him again. That by some stroke of luck, my new master would have Leo's key as well as mine and the brothers would be reunited."

Lucy's teasing smile faded at the sudden melancholy on her lion's face. When she'd asked the original question, it was meant to tease him about the huge age difference between them. She hadn't meant to bring up painful memories.

One hand reached up to brush a tear off his cheek and Loke flinched. He hadn't even realized he was crying.

"Tell you what. Before Team Natsu comes barging in here and drags us off on a mission, why don't we go on our own? Let's go look for Leo Minor's key."

As Loke pulled Lucy into his arms in a crushing embrace, he remembered why he loved her so much.


	34. too soul, much heart

**A/N:** _This one has been sitting in the depths of the collection for AGES. Wendy-centric fics are so much fun._

* * *

Being a Soul Healer wasn't a job to be taken lightly, as her brother told her constantly, that severe cast to his eyebrows and his face he had when he was telling Wendy something Very Important™.

He was one to talk, Wendy would mumble to herself, seeing as he didn't even _have_ the gift to heal souls. All _he_ did was moon over a redheaded mortal and contemplate his past sins. For a Fae, Wendy was surprisingly salty and just a _bit_ snippy when compared to the rest of her people. Jellal blamed Ultear's influence. Ultear had primly asked if there was any way Wendy's healing gift extended to healing stupidity.

Sadly, it didn't.

It was such a rare gift to be given to a mortal, even rarer for a Fae. Wendy could see soul ailments and mend them through soothing thoughts and a few herbal remedies.

In her lifetime ( _twice the span of a normal human's and she was still little more than a child to her people_ ), Wendy had met two other Soul Healers. One was a traveling Fae with blue hair like hers. He had been surrounded by the lost souls he'd saved over the past four centuries and given peace. The Fae didn't linger, preferring to live the life of a vagabond and traveling fool. His advice and instruction, however brief, had helped Wendy grow in her power and in confidence.

The other was a surly, snappish young man who lived three streets over. He wasn't a full-blooded Fae, though his pointed ears betrayed a Fae affair somewhere in his ancestry. He griped and grumbled when Wendy had found him out and begged him to teach her. He was a good teacher, though. He wasn't as patient as her other teacher or her brother, but under his watch, Wendy had progressed from merely being good to mastering her power.

Too Soul was her base of operations ( _she loved the play on words and her little tea shop so much_ ) in the downtown district. The epitome of hipster chic, Wendy had altered her look to match her surroundings; shredded jeans, big dangling earrings, a sapphire undercut, and shoulderless shirts. Jellal hated it but Wendy felt more in tune with her power this way.

There was no method to her Healing. She merely acted with her instincts, basing everything on observation.

For the girl who longed for love and acceptance but went looking in all the wrong places, a few drops of rain water from the first spring rain slipped into her tea gave her the confidence to love herself before she searched for love in a man.

For the young woman who balanced both her burgeoning career as a writer and a difficult home life, gardenia tea for strength of mind and heart was Wendy's usual choice.

For the boy who struggled with nightmares and crushing guilt which lead him to wander into the shop at late hours, a cup of hot, milky tea with a few words of encouragement whispered over it would ensure he'd wander back home safely and fall asleep.

Even the redhead her brother adored so much had found her way into Wendy's shop, a place only troubled souls could find and remember. Sometimes normal people stumbled in and had a cup of coffee but they never did find their way back. Some Fae frequented her shop, soothed by her presence and her bright smile.

Nothing made her happier than helping others. As she inhaled the smell of brewing Earl Grey, Wendy smiled, flipping her open sign over.

Time to start the day.


	35. sky blue

_**A/N:** ok but this is totally the cutest brotp ever. also totally not implied BixLu not at all._

* * *

Wendy sighed happily for what had to be the tenth time in five minutes and pulled her blanket closer.

She'd just been trying to head home after a long morning at the guild but a sudden torrential rain shower put an end to that attempt. Bixlow had been walking toward the guild when he spotted her, huddled with Carla under an awning. Neither Sky Maiden nor Exceed were willing to get even more soaked so they planned to wait out the storm.

 _"Hey, Shortstack! What are you doing out in this downpour?"_

 _Both turned to look at the sopping wet but madly grinning Seith Mage. He'd taken his helmet off to better enjoy the elements. His babies hovered around his head, spinning in circles and splashing water all over their master. "Oh, hello Bixlow," Wendy said, shifting her weight and holding Carla closer. "We got stuck here trying to get home. It's really raining hard so I thought we should stay out of the open and wait for it to stop."_

 _Bixlow glanced up at the sky and frowned. "It doesn't look like it's going to let up anytime soon." He pondered for a moment. "Why don't you come home with me and dry off? It'd be better than staying here for hours in that flimsy sundress of yours."_

 _Wendy was slowly turning into a Sky Dragon Slayer popsicle and Carla didn't seem much better off. The thought of warming up sounded amazing._

Bixlow had taken her and Carla back to his home and given her towels and spare clothes. He apologized, since they were Lucy's and consequently were several sizes too big, but Wendy didn't mind. They were warm and dry. That was all that really mattered at this point. After she'd gotten cleaned up, Bixlow had plopped her on the couch with a blanket and blanket-wrapped Carla and a mug of tea, somehow knowing exactly how she liked her tea. When she questioned him about it, Bix merely tapped the side of his nose and winked, telling her it was a secret.

Wendy guessed Lucy must've told him.

"Hey, Wendy."

"Yes, Bixlow?" She looked up, and _up_ , at the still grinning man. He was a fun person to be around, she had realized. Yes, he could be a bit of a perv when at the guild and he did stupid things, but he'd been nothing but kind to her. Bixlow sat down next to her, his hair still damp and spiking up, and relieved her of her empty mug.

"I have the most scathingly, brilliant idea." At Wendy's more than skeptical look, he laughed and ruffled her hair. "Don't give me that look, kiddo, it's a perfectly safe idea." Wendy still wasn't convinced. She'd seen the results of Bixlow's plans before. They usually ended with him being shocked, stabbed, or burnt to a crisp. It wasn't her fault she was wary of his plans. "Let's make a pillow fort, it'll be great."

Wendy blinked. That…actually sounded really fun. But, there was just one problem. "Um, Bixlow? I've never made a pillow fort before."

The look of utter outrage and horror that crossed his face had Carla choking on her tea with laughter.

"Okay, it's settled. We're making a pillow fort, I'll make dinner, and we can watch a cra-, sorry, _cheesy_ movie and I'll take you back to Fairy Hills after that, okay?"

Wendy nodded joyously, her redone pigtails bobbing. It was like all the times the older girls invited her to tea parties or parties in general. She always had so much fun and they really included her instead of treating her like a kid. But sometimes Wendy did need to be treated her age. She saw horrific battles and so many other bad circumstances that being her age instead of being an adult was a relief. So making a pillow fort? This was going to be fun.

So that was how Wendy, Bixlow, and Carla spent the rest of their day; building a fort, hurling pillows at each other, getting drunk on laughter, eating way too much chili and popcorn, and finding the cheesiest movie in Bixlow's extensive collection. Wendy didn't make it back to Fairy Hills that night. Bixlow had called Evergreen and told her what was going on so no one got too worried about the little Dragon Slayer.

"Goodnight, big brother," Wendy mumbled as she curled deeper into the blanket nest. Bixlow smiled, a genuine smile, as he tucked an arm around her and the babies settled near Wendy's head.

"Goodnight, Little Blue."


	36. hurricane

_A/N: I'm finding all these old tumblr requests so those'll be reposted on here under the Great Collection and separately, also on AO3._

 **"And there's a storm you're starting now." (graytear)**

* * *

Some people were hot like fire.

Some people were solid like earth.

Some people were fickle like wind.

And some were cold like water.

When two people of disparate elements such as fire and water were placed together, bad things would happen.

A storm was brewing in her eyes. She was hot and cold, fire and ice, in a way that perplexed him. He was all ice, all cold water. But she…she was hot ice and wondrous strange snow.

The way she moved was all flowing and graceful like water but with a brittleness like ice. The deep darkness in her eye, however, was like a forest fire that consumed everything in its path.

"I am fire. You are water. And there's a storm you're starting now."

With those words, they clashed.


	37. night terrors

_Prompt:_ **"Hey, hey, calm down, they can't hurt you anymore." Jellal/Juvia**

* * *

He couldn't sleep. He never could, really. Years in prison had screwed with his sleep schedule and a good night's rest eluded him. Add the stress of hunting for the source of Zeref's power at the Grand Magic Games and being forced to participate and there was no way he was sleeping tonight.

His roommates, the rest of Fairy Tail's Team B, had retired for the night. Cana, Mirajane, and Juvia had claimed the biggest bed and all three were cuddled together in a big lump of girls. There'd been a silent glare off over the second bed that Laxus had won, much to Gajeel's disgruntlement. He in turn claimed the fold out bed, which left Jellal with the armchair in the corner.

It was fine, though. He didn't want to take a bed from someone who would actually sleep.

He woke an hour later from a light doze to the sound of whimpering. In the moonlight, he peered at the girls' bed. On the edge, having pulled away from the cuddle pile, was Juvia. He knew a bit more than he ever would've about the water Mage from Meredy. Just from his observations, she seemed like a kind, if excitable, young woman. There was pain lurking in the depths of her watery eyes, however. It wasn't a new pain. This was an older pain, a pain she'd been carrying her whole life.

Now she was tossing restlessly and continued to whimper. Her face contorted in pained expressions. One hand grasped the pillow in a stranglehold, her face was coated in a sheen of sweat, and she seemed overwhelmingly distraught. Juvia's face twisted again and this time she cried out, lost in the grip of her dreams.

Jellal rose from the chair, unfolding himself fluidly, and ghosted across the floor to her side. He hesitated for a moment before resting a hand gently on her shoulder. "Juvia," he whispered, giving her a gentle shake. Displaying what had to be years of paranoia and experience, Juvia's blue eyes shot open and she sprang forward out of the bed with a near silent hiss. Even with her sudden movements, she didn't wake either of her bedmates. Her hands reached for his throat easily and just as easily, Jellal caught her wrists.

He was duly impressed. She'd done all that while not being conscious and yet her aim was impeccable. He saw now why she was such a great opponent. "Hey, hey, calm down, they can't hurt you anymore," Jellal soothed. "They're just dreams. Dreams aren't real, Juvia, they can't physically hurt you."

Juvia's eyes opened all the way. Jellal sighed inwardly in relief; it seemed she was back among the living. "Jellal-san?" Juvia whispered. Her eyes filled with tears and with a sob, her head dropped onto Jellal's chest. He wrapped his arms around her a little awkwardly. Despite living alongside Ultear and Meredy for years, he was still uncomfortable around crying women.

But as Juvia curled into his chest and cried silently, he found it wasn't so bad.


	38. i remember

**Prompt 91. "I remember everything." (CoLu)**

* * *

"I remember everything."

He covered his ears. He didn't want to hear this. She was relentless, as he knew she would be. Once she found a weak point, she would exploit it shamelessly.

If she wanted, she could've run a dark guild successfully and not been caught. Which was a line of thought he had no desire to go down, not today.

"I remember, Erik. Don't try and deny it."

She couldn't remember. She'd been unconscious. She should _not_ have been able to hear a hastily whispered sentence, much less remember it eight months later.

"You told me…"

No. He didn't have to listen.

"You told me you love me!"

Curse blondes and their good memories to the pits of hell.


	39. Speak Now (1)

Lucy ran as fast as she could.

As her footsteps thudded along to the beat of her heart, the image of Levy's face flashed in front of her eyes.

* * *

 _"_ _Yeah, Erik is getting married today." Levy told her conversationally over coffee. Lucy had just returned from a four year course overseas. It made sense for the two best friends and former roommates to want to catch up, since they hadn't really been able to talk except over email._

 _At Lucy's stunned gasp, Levy gives her friend an alarmed look. "Didn't you know?" Levy asked slowly. Lucy shook her head as tears filled her eyes. "It's to Jenny Realight, you remember, that really snotty girl who was a bikini model in college? I don't know if he really loves her or not, but they're getting married in a couple hours." Levy bit her lip, wondering if she should say what was on her mind. "I thought you would know, since you guys were sort of together and best friends before you left."_

 _Lucy shook her head slowly, tears of shock dripping down her cheeks. "No," she choked out. "I haven't heard from Erik in three years. Not even Kinana has said something about this…"_

 _Suddenly, the blonde's tears turned into harsh resolve as she stood. Levy studied her face, seeing a fierce spark of the old college Lucy. Not the new Lucy, the one who had changed after four years of diplomatic training, but the old Lucy._

 _The Lucy who would never back down from a fight._

 _The one who had taken a beating, literally, and laughed it off._

 _There was no way she would let Erik get away from her, not this time._

 _Not when she could do something about it._

 _"_ _Where are you going?"_

 _"I have a wedding to crash."_

* * *

After getting the directions from Levy, Lucy had wasted no time in running off to stop her old boyfriend from making a horrible mistake.

As she ran, memories of their time together flooded her mind.

* * *

 _"_ _C'mon, Luce! Let's go already! Geez, woman, I thought you would've been ready hours ago, the way the Blue Shrimp was saying you were all riled up!"_

 _His warm, callused hands threading through her thick, blonde hair as they talked about classes. Sometimes his head would rest in her lap, or the other way around. Their friends teased them about being a couple, but they never reacted to that. They were best friends and nothing would change that._

 _The way he would hum as they walked or studied. He didn't know he was doing it, but it was a habit his sister Kinana said he always had. And both she and Lucy would know; Erik and Lucy had been best friends forever._

 _Then came the day she told him she was going overseas for an ambassadorial course, an internship of sorts. He had been very quiet, and only said he hoped they would keep in touch. He had kissed her on the cheek before she flew out._

 _She tried to keep in touch, and carried a torch for him in her heart for four years, but it seemed like he had forgotten._

 _Her heart had broken then. Trying to forget him didn't work. Erik had been too much a part of her life to throw him off so easily._

Lucy was going to stop this wedding if it killed her. There was no way on this earth she was going to let her best friend and the only man she had ever loved slip out of her life without a fight.

* * *

By the time she got to the hall where the wedding was going to be held, it had already started. Lucy slipped in, hoping against hope that she was in time.

The hall was full. Thankfully, nobody noticed the sweaty, flushed blonde hiding in the curtains in the back. She spotted a few people she knew. Kinana's purple hair near the front, Erik's cousins and her friends Laxus, Rogue, Sting, Natsu, Wendy, and Gajeel, Mirajane and her siblings, and so many of their old friends and classmates.

Then she saw him and the breath left her body.

His darkly tan, brooding, nearly scowling face. The long scar over his eye that she used to trace absently when he rested his head in her lap. His messy, spiky maroon hair that refused to stay down, no matter how much gel had been forced into it. He looked so good in his crisp black suit, her heart nearly burst at the sight.

As she studied his face, she realized something.

He didn't want to be here. He didn't want to get married.

But it seemed like he wasn't going to do anything. To her horror, the justice of the peace spoke.

"If anyone objects to this union, speak now or forever hold your peace."

This would be the perfect moment to speak, Lucy knew, despite how cliche it would be. But she couldn't move. She was frozen to the spot. Could she really do this? Could she step forward and possible ruin his life? Could she hurt her best friend, no matter how much she had been hurt by him?

Could she do it?

So lost in her thoughts was she, Lucy hadn't even noticed that she had stepped out of the curtains and was standing in plain sight at the back of the hall.

And he saw her.

 _He saw her._

For the first time in four years, Lucy's brown eyes and Erik's single indigo eye met and held. How could she have forgotten what it was like to drown in the depths of his eyes? Those rich, purple eyes that had always enthralled her, even when they were kids.

When he said her name, the entire room was so silent you could hear a pin drop.

"Lucy."

He stepped away from the girl in the puffy, pastry-like dress, (most likely that Jenny Realight girl Levy had mentioned), and down the aisle toward her.

Unconsciously, she moved forward and met him halfway. They didn't touch; they just stood there staring at the ghosts from their pasts.

"Hey," Erik whispered.

"Hey," Lucy whispered back. She bit her lip, searching his face for any hint that he would take exception if she ruined his wedding.

"EXCUSE ME!" A shrill voice burst their little bubble of uber-awareness. The irate bride was standing with her hands on her hips, glowering down at Lucy and her clearly awestruck groom. Out of the corner of her eyes, Lucy could see Natsu and Kinana grinning at her, despite the fact they still seemed a bit stunned to see her.

Lucy suddenly wondered what they must think of her. She was still flushed from running, her hair was a mess, she wasn't wearing any makeup, and she was only wearing an old blue sundress that was faded and well-loved. She looked like a mess, but Erik didn't seem to object. If anything, he was looking at her as if she were the only woman in the room.

"I'm glad you came." His deep voice rumbled all the way down to her toes. "Though I'm curious how you found out."

"Oh, a little blue bird tipped me off. And I'm glad she did. I wouldn't have missed this for the world." Erik gave her the once over.

"I can tell. Be sure to tell your blue friend thank you, otherwise I wouldn't be able to do this." He took several steps forward, grabbed her by the arms, and pressed his mouth to hers. Gasps and cries whirled around them. Did they care?

No, they didn't.

When Erik and Lucy parted, he pressed his forehead to hers. "So I'm going to take this as you objecting?"

Lucy grinned at him, her hands cupping his cheeks. "Yeah, I'm speaking now."


	40. Speak Now (2)

_{This is a two part story! Go back and read chapter 39, Speak Now (1)!}_

* * *

"CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT IS GOING ON?"

Erik winced, covering his ears. What had he seen in Jenny Realight that had convinced him she would be a good life-mate? To be honest, it was all her family's fault. He had expressed a little bit of interest in the model and her family had blown it all out of proportion, practically forcing their engagement. But now…

Lucy was back. _She was back._

Lucy hadn't met anyone's eyes since she and Erik had exchanged their rather earth-shattering kiss. Was she ashamed of what she had done? _He_ didn't regret it a bit. In fact, it was probably the best moment of the past four years. It wasn't really like Lucy to crash a wedding, so she must have a really good reason. He was burning to know what it was. Erik wrapped an arm around the trembling blonde.

"Be quiet please, Jenny." The other blonde woman and her family gasped, the bride pulling back in shock and horror. But if Erik looked closely, she didn't actually seem upset. If anything, there was a knowing look in her eyes. She hadn't wanted to be there anymore than he had.

This was the only way to get out of a wedding neither wanted and he was _more_ than willing to be the bad guy to her family.

* * *

 _When the justice of the peace said those rather fateful words, "If anyone objects to this union, speak now or forever hold your peace,", he had_ desperately _wished that someone would stop him. This was a mistake. Both of them knew it. Just make him_ stop _._

 _Then he had seen her._

 _When he saw her out of the corner of his left eye, it was like seeing a ghost. Was she real?_

 _His Lucy had never seemed so flustered, so terrified yet determined. His Lucy had been put together, calm, and peaceful. And yet… This. This was the real Lucy. The shining star he had fallen head over heels in love with was back and stronger than ever._

* * *

"I'm sorry, Jenny. I can't do this." Erik looked down at the woman under his arm. A tentative smile touched her lips. It seemed like she was asking permission to be happy.

Jenny's snotty family began screaming protests that Erik ignored. From the left side, a golden headed man stood. Jenny's lips curved up as she reached her hands toward him. A laugh burst from both Hibiki and Jenny as they embraced, Hibiki pressing a kiss to Jenny's lips. The people attending the wedding felt as if their brains were melting. They thought they were attending the wedding of Erik Cobra and Jenny Realight, but it looks like that had changed.

Kinana caught her brother's eye and gestured with her head toward the door. Her meaning was clear; _get Lucy out of here_. He flashed a grateful smile at her, and gently tugged Lucy's shoulders. She followed in a daze.

* * *

 _He had tried to keep in touch with Lucy. He really had. It was just, well, every time he went to write to her or send her an email, the words had dried up. How was he supposed to tell her how much he missed her? That life was dull without her sparkling light?_

 _How could he tell her he loved her in a letter when he couldn't even say it out loud the day she left?_

 _She was his brightest light, his dearest friend. You're not supposed to fall in love with your best friend._

 _He had._

 _Did he regret it?_

 _Sometimes._

 _When she walked through his apartment in nothing but one of his oversized t-shirts she had stolen and refused to give back and her gym shorts._

 _When he was watching her throw her head back and laugh at one of Levy's comments, her brown eyes sparkling._

 _The day he lost his eye and woke up from surgery to find her sprawled across the end of his hospital bed, tear tracks dried on her too-pale face. The nurses told him later that she had refused to leave the hospital until he was out of surgery and pleaded to stay in the room with him._

 _When she would fall asleep curled up against him after a long day of classes._

 _It wasn't seeing her hurry toward him all dolled up for a night out at Fairy Tail with their friends that made Erik realize how deeply he had fallen in love with his best friend. It was on the 10th anniversary of her mother's death when she showed up on his doorstep in a rainstorm, dripping from head to toe, mascara running with raindrops and tears intermingled. She hadn't said a word and neither had he. He just opened his arms to his best girl and held her until her tears stopped._

 _When she left for her diplomatic training, she had taken his heart with her. Was there a chance for them?_

 _He really would never know._

* * *

Both were silent as they walked down the road, Lucy in her faded dress, Erik still in his suit. ( _No tuxes for him, thank you!_ ) They passed the coffee shop Lucy had sat with Levy, who was still there. She watched the couple pass with knowing eyes. Lucy had seized her last chance to be with the man she loved and it seemed she won the day.

The suffocating silence continued until they reached the park tucked away off Main Street. Out of sheer habit ( _even though neither had been to the park in almost five years_ ) Lucy made a beeline for the swings. Erik followed her a little more slowly. She settled on one and began swinging slowly. He had to physically restrain himself from going behind her and giving her a push like he used to. Instead, he stood in front of her, watching her swing back and forth. Not a word passed between the two former best friends.

Eventually, it was too much for him. He stepped forward and dropped into a crouch so he was looking up at her.

"Lucy, I'm sor-…" Erik began. He jolted backward as Lucy's hand came up and slapped across his face. "What the hell, woman?"

Lucy's face crumpled as tears streamed down her cheeks. Both hands covered her face. Lucy slipped off the swing, sank to the ground, and she sobbed.

He'd never been able to handle her tears. To be honest, they were his weakness. Laxus had used to joke that if Lucy ever wanted Erik to do anything, all she had to do was look at him and let her eyes fill. He'd move heaven and earth to make her happy.

"I…I'm so glad you didn't get married!" She wailed. His eye widened. _What?_ "I don't know what I would have done if you had married her and I wasn't there to say something." Lucy's whole body shuddered. Moving on instinct alone, Erik's arms encircled her easily. Her familiar scent filled his nose as they clung to each other. "I can't lose you, Erik."

"I don't want to lose you, either, Lucy. I came so close to losing you for good because I didn't say anything." He was going to lay his heart on the line. If Lucy rejected him, then at least he had tried. It was better to love and lose than not even try and miss out. "But now I'm a free man. I don't know if you have any feelings left for me, it's been so long, I know. But if you want to give this a second chance…"

She froze in his arms. Slowly, oh so slowly, both of her slim hands reached up to cup his face. "'Feelings are connection'," she said quietly. "'They surpass time, and find their way back to the people you love.' Erik, letting you go didn't mean I don't love you. It just means I love you so much I want you to be happy. I thought…letting you go would would make you happy even if it hurt me." Erik sighed and pressed his forehead to hers.

"Looks like we were both wrong since I thought the same way."

Lucy chuckled wetly. "Yeah, we're a pair of idiots."

"Can we be a pair of idiots together?"

"…Yeah."

* * *

 _A/N: Since I've been on a reposting spree, if y'all wanna toss some Christmas prompts my way, that'd be great. Heaven knows I don't need help with story ideas but my Christmas prompts are sorely lacking._


End file.
